bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127576
 30.04.2016
During the search, a suspicious box was found in the suspect.

The skull.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127575
 30.04.2016
An unexpected question. If I have to buy toys now, where do I get them?
In the fool...

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127574
 30.04.2016
On the day of release of the first series of the new season "Game of Thrones":

AAA > the spoiler!! John Snow is alive :XD
BBB > mountains in hell!!! to
CCC > the spoiler!!! John Snow is dead!
DDD > Spoiler, John Snow is not dead, but not alive.
EEE > Snow Schrödinger

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127573
 30.04.2016
XXX: What do you have on your own?

YYY: Like in the desert

XXX: Are only camels passing by?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127572
 30.04.2016
Lady: Multidisciplinary he mla, I also Caesar
Lady: I can suck, smoke and read in the toilet at the same time, and I don’t get anything out.
It’s time for Nick to change.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127571
 30.04.2016
With Hicks about the coloring of h/b films:
xxx: For video, I think three-dimensional convergence networks would be very good, because the video can just be represented as a three-dimensional parallel piped.
yyy: I can’t imagine video as a three-dimensional parallel piped. You might even ask for music as a tesseract to imagine (

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127570
 30.04.2016
Scientists from the University of Rochester (USA) have been able to calculate the approximate number of highly developed civilizations that may exist in the universe. The probability of life on planets suitable for life is 10 minus twenty-two degrees. However, the main conclusion made by experts is that in the known part of the universe, human civilization is unique.
The sadness...
Ta-a-ak, I didn’t understand, all these, headed by Strugacki, lied to me what?! to

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127569
 30.04.2016
I went to the crew yesterday. Liked it!
- How did Kozlovsky, like in the old film Filatov, fuck the stewardess?
He fucked the pilot.
...??? to
The pilot was a woman.
- Fu #la, or I was already scared that it happened before us...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127568
 30.04.2016
xxx: The question is not why your own voice in the recording sounds differently. The answer is easy. The question is, why do people usually feel uncomfortable when they hear their own voice in the recording?
YYY: Because inside of you you speak a beautiful charming baritone, women grind from your voice and you tell them all your life. And when you hear it from the side of No, the fox can't be that dirty goat even shakes this is not really how to live anymore!1111 ADINADIN Psychology is shorter.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127567
 30.04.2016
There is no extreme north, it is infinite.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127566
 30.04.2016
An exemplary boy is not quite a boy, it is an approximate boy.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №127565
 30.04.2016
The case was, worked for a long time as a 1C programmer in one large transport company, they had everything seriously there, even the guards in 1C worked. So, a security guard called me somehow, says the report there is not going to him, asked for help... I was lazy to go to him, I connected to his comp, I started the formation of the report, I watch the case is delayed - I saw the comp launched by the security guard, give, I think I will help him, I sit quietly waiting for the report to be gathered, I disassemble the comp, I drink tea and suddenly a call from the head of the ASU department - "this is you there remotely to the comp of the security guard connected?" - I answer that yes, that "they were fooled? The security guard does not know what an admin is - he enters his office, sees how his compass is disassembled, and there is no one in front of the compass, so he called the security guard, Hendyr called, says aliens attacked us - overwhelmed everyone... I fell...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127564
 30.04.2016
bzz: well you can't, so you sit on your ass straight, so no, from sitting at his hands, crazy, flowing!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127563
 30.04.2016
From the site Answers.mail.ru

Subject: Sometimes one speaker in the headphones shuts down.
Sdas Dolish
I played CS and suddenly only one side of my headphones started making sound. How to decide? There is a naked territory on the wire, it is small but it can still be behind it?
cardistry
Fuck, I don’t even know!! Can you get rid of weakness?! to
Sdas Dolish
Yes is? Do not go to me?
cardistry
I am only for

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127562
 30.04.2016
I just bought a chicken grill at the institution with the same name, while preparing stood considering a book of complaints and proposals. The evening made a review: -"Once I was out with her, and so everything was very delicious and very liked, I will come again..." sham take the beer in anticipation.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127561
 30.04.2016
Who said that doing small business is boring?
Yes, reports, yes, counselors, yes, jubilars.
The news from the place is pleasant.
The form of submission as well.
Here, a subordinate firm asked to help make a text about the anniversary. She asked questions, asked pictures, described what.
The result: I was sent a small text, which is inserted inside a photo (fine quality, of course). And to convince me that everything is serious: 4 presentation files in the format "point": each presentation image is a separate file. and a separate letter.
How to you? Remember "Buy 6 cakes and gather a cat"
Another district organization sent a handwritten text by fax for a long time. Finally, they bought a computer. The text is written on the computer, printed, sent to me by fax. The e-mail still scares rural areas.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №127560
 30.04.2016
Moscow

I’d rather be joking about the MCP/ACP.
And the mechanics still better than the ACP, in terms of control of the car :-)

In the traffic jams, it is mostly necessary to control only the level of irritation. It is below the ACP.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127559
 30.04.2016
XXX: LibreOffice
xxx: or you know something ))
xxx: they have this type of formatting - R, if applied to the date, it shows the number of years from the beginning of the era
xxx: if the Russian language is selected, then on the current date it will show 2016
xxx: fun if the language “English (USA)” is selected
xxx: in this case it shows the year 5775 of the Jewish calendar :))
xxx: Let's say English (Canada) shows again 2016
XXX is ZOG!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127558
 30.04.2016
From GeekTimes:
The attention! All your files are encrypted. To restore the performance of files, update to Windows 10.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127557
 30.04.2016
Now in the subway, a man sat next to me and asked me:"Girl, can you meet?"
I answer that I am a lesbian.
He told me that I’t be needed by any man.

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