bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114160
 30.05.2015
Wow, what beautiful people they are!

In the center of Moscow, during an unauthorized rally of representatives of the capital LGBT community, there was a fight between Orthodox and gay activists.

The old joke sounded new:

-Comrade Major, there are pidders fighting with fanatics!
How about ours?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №114159
 30.05.2015
If a pregnant woman feels good and wants - sex will be both oral and different. And if she doesn’t want to, if she’s sick, if she can’t experience orgasm or even excitement – then what hell is oral sex? by force? This is her enormous reproductive work - for your overall result, she rejects herself in many ways, undermines her health, spends her resources, sacrifices her career. It is not only her choice, but also your common one. Is it hard to endure? Why does this propaganda "you don’t want it, and the man needs it"?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114158
 30.05.2015
Hi to
What can improve your mood?

Hi to
Potatoes with meat

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114157
 30.05.2015
Watch the new "Dracula"
HH: I did not understand.
Q: How did it come to pass that Bard took such an epic armor from Smaug and didn’t tell anyone about it?
When did Taiwin Lannister become a vampire?
Q: Can anyone explain to me what kind of shit they have in Azeroth at all?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114156
 30.05.2015
Any product can be ruined. Blah blah blah It will not be poisoned, but it will not taste good.
And already vinegret from rubbed vegetables I recommend only to the teethless."
— — — —
It depends on the eating habits established in childhood. If the boy's mom made the "most delicious" rubbed vinegret, then the girl who cuts the vegetables in cubes will be stamped with disappointment. Because food is either a way to maintain a comfortable life, or a cult and a reason to fuck.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №114155
 30.05.2015
Not all interested people came to the ovules to read, of course.
I am in the most popular reproductive age, under 30. 90% of my friends are there, I speak for all of us.
For 40 weeks of pregnancy, and doctors consider it to be weeks, except for 3-4 weeks of toxicity (sick, bad), which does not happen to everyone at all, and the last 2 weeks (to not provoke labor activity), a woman is overwhelmed with hormones and no sex at all. Exceptions are the threat of interruption or health condition. The rest is blasphemy or justification for blasphemy.

Mother of 2 children

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114154
 30.05.2015
The young man:

As I went to the topic of relationships, I have a question, mainly for girls. The first step should be taken, okay. The question is, what are the boundaries of this step, what is its beginning and its end?

Sympathy is immediately visible. Both genders are very interested in themselves. The first step can be the most ordinary attention, a special interest (I’m about communication) Ideally to discover such common topics (for example, a hobby – it’s very connective!Look at the person expressively, because for some reason you have distinguished him among others (hold a look, it is the first sign of honest interest!) If the girl is very shy or just speechless - invite for coffee (it is preferable to do this without witnesses).
The most pleasant thing in communication is non-obsessiveness, naturalness - just be yourself! If the person did not respond with reciprocity, it is simply not your person.
And about borders. I believe that the beginning of communication is not the time for expensive gifts. This time of joint leisure, the level of the exhibition / cinema / coffee is quite sufficient. If after several dates there is no response interest in you as a person (and not a sponsor, for example), you can safely assume that you have done your best and continue to demonstrate the initiative unilaterally stupid.
I wish you good luck!


[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №114153
 30.05.2015
In the vestibule of Roskomnadzor representatives of two media holdings fought.
It turns out that in one day they submitted applications for registration of FM radio stations with the same names.

The statements meant the name of the station: "What’s there at Khokhlov".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114152
 30.05.2015
Veli and her husband in circulation a new term - "dremlin" - is the son for breakfast before school.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114151
 30.05.2015
I counted how much you owe me, I got 3,100 rubles. But I decided to round, so 4000.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114150
 30.05.2015
The Knowledge:
and...
here here :

Changing pregnant women. When you get sick with something serious, you get sick of it, I sincerely wish your wives to have a similar view of the situation and fuck exclusively with healthy beauties, until you get in shape. If you lose your leg/hand, just forget about sex with your wife.

I also discovered America. It always happens. Only after the husband comes in shape will his wife stop betraying him.
– – – – –
Yes, it is always so. No options at all.
In your case, it is so. You measure yourself, you get a logical result. If you are like G, you are like G, you are like G. Normally, you will easily get around.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №114149
 30.05.2015
What do you need, old man? asked the Goldfish.
“I want to buy a Mercedes from retirement,” said the clever grandfather and secured immortality.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114148
 30.05.2015
It is the opposite.
here here :

Changing pregnant women. When you get sick with something serious, you get sick of it, I sincerely wish your wives to have a similar view of the situation and fuck exclusively with healthy beauties, until you get in shape. If you lose your leg/hand, just forget about sex with your wife.

I also discovered America. It always happens. Only after the husband comes in shape will his wife stop betraying him.

Go to any hospital, look, talk. Obvious statistics: the husband is seriously ill - his wife carries his home meals and works as a sanitary. The wife became ill - the husband swintled in a blue hole and waved with a pen. Especially if they are 30 or 40.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114147
 30.05.2015
This is, fucking, fucking shit - 3 eggs, sausage and cheese with MORNING!!! Lunch at 2!!The fucking 2 cups! Evening with milk.
###########
Go and eat the leaf of the strawberry, don’t just crack, anorexic.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114146
 30.05.2015
Pregnancy and sex. Since the beginning of my pregnancy, my ex-husband has refused to have sex with me. First "do not harm the child", then "the abdomen is not erotic", and after birth "you changed" (after birth the breasts of 2 became 7). So, never in my life I watched so much porn as in pregnancy, had to satisfy myself. But it was nothing and I wanted sex incredibly. All my friends said that pregnancy was the best and brightest sex in their lives. And this "great unwilling" remains safely alone. Sex is always important.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114145
 30.05.2015
I will tell :)
_____
What is the meaning of the word "CARL" that some add at the end of the phrase?
_____
Charles is 14.An old boy from the series "The Living Dead". Now in some Internet communities have become popular (well who how!) Comics "Carl and Rick" (and Google"), made from 3-4 frames of one episode scene and " funny inscriptions on top".
The point is that Karl is a "modern" child, accustomed to the internet, smartphones and other affordable "luxury", and Rick was born in the 80s and 90s (old athlete) and he had nothing like that. And so to any (completely normal for our days) request of Karl "I would like something" Rick answers with a feeling "Hat he wanted something? Karl, at my time there was nothing about it. And we did other, much simpler things. How much easier, Karl!" All comics are like that.
Both expressions are more than successful. More than good luck, Charles! And to better convey his thought to the child, Rick adds his name at the end. Added a name, Carl. To better convey the thought, the irony to convey all! It is ironic, Carl. You just have to see yourself once to understand everything! Let me see you, Karl. One time Carl. The comics are finally gone, Karl!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114144
 30.05.2015
School is disgusting.
and----
Half empty planes from Khabarovsk to China? well well. Maybe you won’t smell what you don’t know?

= = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is

From Khabarovsk to China - 20 km, what eblan will fly there on the plane? say, that all Peter in Lapertanta on Boeing with airbags
and----
I am also in shock from the border of Russia to the United States only 80 kilometers for fucking such expensive tickets.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114143
 30.05.2015
Ahmetzhan YESIMOV, Akim Almaty: “Almaty is a very sporty city. Almost every citizen is engaged in sports. Sometimes they take a helicopter, climb the mountains, then go down skiing. Then they go and play golf.”

Nuff said.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114142
 30.05.2015
He brought home a piece of Parm branch, put it in the freezer, tasted like a beer drink with it on the weekend.
Grandmother cooked a bouillon from him, a bouillon from his mother from a parmesan sickle!!!by 1111

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114141
 30.05.2015
Student habits are like that. Dialogue at 6 in the morning:
Are you going to work?
To me the second.
What is?! to
I am here tonight, I am tonight!

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