bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №17702
 30.06.2009
xxx: we lived in a rental apartment, went for a bath, lazy to stand in the bathroom, to the bathroom, too tired, I look at the stand hanging a plastic bench...
In general, I turned it to the bottom of the seats, it doesn't break, the weight holds, well, all cool, cushioned for 15 minutes...
I sit relaxed and out of the soul like the air with the grooooooooooooom, the water, the air.... (and the cold water ceased to flow) but my heart probably went to the first floor...
I was frightened until my legs jumped, all the weight of course on the bench, then it breaks and I try to get up and the boiling water that is poured out of the soul to turn off, the body floor burned...
I can’t get up to swim!!! A crack cracks his ass))))))))))) scuco until he broke out of his arms of his legs on burned and only then realized how lucky I was!!!!!!!!!!! What if the eggs failed in this crack?))))))))

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №17701
 30.06.2009
Michael Jackson is dead. He was strange, but talented. Sadly him. Sergey is alive. He is very strange and untalented and he is not sorry, but let him live long. When people die, it’s always bad.c) V. Soloviev

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №17700
 30.06.2009
How does it come out that no one who does not ask - no one shakes... But everyone knows how it is done!!! to

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №17699
 30.06.2009
by Mr. I slipped on a wet linoleum and immediately submitted the candidate for the masters of sports in multi-fighting, gymnastics and figure skating with the overcoming of obstacles in the form of a table, chairs, cat and dog.

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №17698
 30.06.2009
A girl in bed:
So, let’s try it in the pop?
On whom will we try?

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №17697
 30.06.2009
The child was scratched in the hand with a iodine pencil. My daughter asked to write "Ira + mom = love"
She wrote.
Then came a little girl (4 years old).
And me too! And write me...
and well. What to write?
dictated
Olya...
I wrote what next.
and plus...
Well, now that we are writing...
He has long thought...
Plus ten...

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №17696
 30.06.2009
The Wolf:
The name "marine rabbit" was given to this foil by Russian beastfighters because of its frightening habits.
IMHO scary habits are observed in all the animals that see Russian beasts.

yyy: then it could be called a marine reference

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №17695
 30.06.2009
XXX: Recently was in Chernobyl, well on a tour!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! There is still radiation there!!!! to
xxx: 0_o_o

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №17694
 30.06.2009
at the exam.
Student: I was confused about something.
Let’s be confused, we’re not playing BDSM here.

[ + 943 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №17693
 30.06.2009
and Vladivostok. It is about 7 in the morning...
I went out to the balcony to smoke, the fog from the sea almost nothing to see... I took it and shouted: Lochaaaaaadkaaa...
And I’m in the mood for the whole day ?
c) t0chi1ka

[ + 96 - ] Comment quote №17692
 30.06.2009
Okay, I’ll come, have you decided on the dress? Imagine something sexy.
Tagged: come
I’m the sexuality myself, my chest, my ticks, my six legs, I’ll be a cancer for you, my beloved.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №17691
 30.06.2009
Today I was riding a tram in a traffic jamming, a drunk girl with an angry look goes out on the street, and a guy, too, is following her.
"Stand up!" - The guy cries, - "Masha, stand up!"
A girl in no way.
"Masha, please stop and don’t leave!and "
Masha is leaving.)
Then the guy strikes, and says ‘no and go naked,’ he turns and leaves.
The girl took two steps, stopped, thought, turned around, and cried “Vitya, stand!” and let’s run after him.
Fuck, the tram was rolling.)

[ + 101 - ] Comment quote №17690
 30.06.2009
She works as a manager in the staff department. In the interview with the security guard:
That kind of uncle shuffle is coming. Brushed and brushed. Say hello and sit. Quiet as such. I ask questions, a questionnaire. Half an hour passes. We have a conversation, questions. Suddenly, I see, his eyes opened. and such an expression of the face as if it is bad to him or hurt him. I ask you, are you sick? He is not. Gray, what are you sick of? He is not. Talk for 40 minutes. His eyes are getting bigger and bigger. Finished and said goodbye. He goes out and I wonder what’s going on with him. I leave the office after him. I look - and he runs to the toilet with a white sling, almost broke the door to the toilet :))) told the deer, he grit, we take! With such an extension ?

[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №17689
 30.06.2009
Today I went out in the morning to smoke on the balcony and I observe the following picture: there is a man, I’t say that you’re hungry, but you can see that there is a strong body and something in the package. He approaches the entrance and there someone screams to him from the 3rd floor. Here is the dialogue:
From the floor: got it?
He took
From the floor: to buy a cigarette?
He is: A?
From the floor: buy smoking?
He is: What?
from the floor: (very loud and evil) crazy... smoked to buy?
He is: A?
from the floor: (understanding apparently that something is wrong, with gaps between words): cigarettes... the store... took?
Q: Did I buy a cigarette?
From the floor: A?
Tagged: cigarette shop

p.s How easy it is to communicate.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №17688
 30.06.2009
Innos: Put on the table, swallowed from its size...

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №17687
 30.06.2009
The day with a friend made a brilliant conclusion: "Pushkin was a hansta"
His grandfather from Ethiopia.
Second, he wrote poetry. Especially the pebbles.
Most importantly, he died in a shooting.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №17686
 30.06.2009
Fuck, you are one of them!
– – – – –

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №17685
 30.06.2009
When it is good!
Otherwise it is disgusting.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №17684
 30.06.2009
The story took place in a rather typical for the NAC. Republican School
Probably not unique, but I guarantee the truth, because I have seen everything.
With my ears.
So, as has already been said, the golden age of "stagnation", a typical Soviet school in
The suburb of Baku is divided into two sectors: the Russian and the Azerbaijani. Shallows
from me. The Russian language was not very well understood by the primary classes.
did not know.
At every significant date, the entrance staircase was placed on a tribune.
microphone and director (a remnant of even more ancient times, with black
to bring to school students the decisions of the last XX. congress
Or something else in that spirit. The speeches were in Russian. None of the students in
These speeches did not entangle the Russian sector, because the pofigu was,
I am. sector because he did not understand anything at all. Everyone was friendship.
They shouted “Ura!“When it was necessary, at least some fun.
On a cold November morning in 1982, the school welcomed us.
Room with microphone. As usual, the director went up to the court, and
He began with a solemn voice:
The comrades! After a long and prolonged illness, he died.
Secretary General... bla bla bla... four times hero...
“Bla-Bla” by Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev.
Translating the spirit, the director pulled off the sheet and looked into the crowd. The Zionist
I am. The sector, seeing this gesture, instantly revived.
“It is time!” At the same time, several dozens of non-Russian speakers
The head and the next moment, present, more precisely, only me. Sectorial
half, exploded with applause passing into ovations and screams
“Ura!“...
The director bleaked and lost the gift of speech, he was probably shot.
In the best case, a gulag. The other teachers and teachers also appeared.
They are not prepared for such a mass statement. But the disgrace continued.
A few seconds later, the director called the microphone.
immediately stop the anti-Soviet, the ignorant teachers fled
suppressing the rebellion. I remember one class. and lead. the younger
Classes, which gave no weak tumaks to the right and to the left, waving with their hand as
I chopped.

The rebellion was quickly suppressed, consequences for the director seemed not to be,
I think it was the last time Gen. He died a long time ago and
The Director did not have any relevant experience. When he died
The next gen. Seven, sad experience taken into account, and the same class of leadership,
The meeting was held between Azerbaijani students and
She spoke that if anyone knocks or pronounces a sound, she will speak to him with her own hands.
The torch will shake.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №17683
 30.06.2009
“Nahal!” It doesn’t mean “stop!”

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