bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №54203
 30.09.2011
Alina is fucking! Happy mom comes home, the whole apartment is cleaned, dinner is ready, rubbish is taken, animals are not asking for food... Even my room is cleaned... Mom: Ali, tell me honestly, what happened? I: I have nothing. Mother : exactly? I : Yes. Mom: Are you pregnant? are you expelled from the institute? what valuable thing broke or broke? what happened? I: I have nothing, honestly! Mom: Are you getting married? I: No, no, what kind of nonsense is it? Mom: Well... unusual how... what, you finally took the mind?
t0pep0: *ROFL*

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №54202
 30.09.2011
In the work:

Lunched
There is no work.
We are warm here.
I just have no way out...I have to sleep!

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №54201
 30.09.2011
Fuck, my mom is singing a little.

The text is like this: Sleep is rather my joy.Sleep or I will be driven out of the game.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №54200
 30.09.2011
YYY: What will we warm up with?
XXX: Three Options
XXX: Normal to each other
XXX: Brutal - to burn your homeland
xxxx - cats and puppy bags

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №54199
 30.09.2011
*Skype-conference "community of perverse" renamed to "coffeeshops"

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №54198
 30.09.2011
When you forget the key in the car, then you call the master to open your car... you are surprised at the speed of opening the door for a moment only... then you start to think.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №54197
 30.09.2011
XXX: I’m in love again
How are you him?
I like it too) He craves me all, and kisses me so gently while pushing away the click)
WOW: click* it is no longer like)

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №54196
 30.09.2011
from ZH:
I went to a cafe with a friend. I ordered coffee. A cute girl came out on the stage, played romantic music, the girl sang romantically with a thumpy voice. We caught ourselves in the thought that we once again spend romantic evenings together, not with our men.
Then she removed the ring from my finger, stood on one knee and...
Go out for me!
I agree!! to
I put my ring on my finger. Then she said, “Well, at least someone agreed!"
Someone has suggested!

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №54195
 30.09.2011
xxxh: We have recently been here: a woman calls, and screams (about viruses on the computer): "We have Trojan horses here in the department!"
Fuck, we roasted until we lost the pulse. Our admin went to seat Trojan horses! We wanted to give him oats, but he said he’s a Trojan horse professional!

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №54194
 30.09.2011
What are the Auggie's Stalls?
Heracles killed them.
XXX: What was there so much rubbish?
YYYY: Well enough for the move))

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №54193
 30.09.2011
Olga: Surprisingly, most designers prefer strict shapes and black and white colors! They use a lot of flowers in their work.
Emily : Cap?? to
Sergeant of School?
The Troll?
Vaganych: Who are all these people?? to
Marabou: Who is here?? to
ToNY: Here is everyone – Nikita, Stas, Gena, Turbo and Dush Metelkin! )

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №54192
 30.09.2011
I sit behind the compass. In the background I have a telephone - TNT.
Here comes the mom and reads the SMS from the viewer: "I want to congratulate my son Bochkov Maxim with 10 years"

All would be nothing, but the time is 00:47 and there is the program "Sex with Anfisa Chekhov" - the plot about transvestites.

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №54191
 30.09.2011
A friend who had been engaged in arm-restling for a long time and seriously, and had small biceps and other muscles, recently lived in Central Asia.
I went for a picnic in a big company. I ordered to prepare fuel for the fire. Of the "fuel" - one saxaul. And we have to say that this plant is not so easy to prepare for burning - it is difficult to cut it off with a tail blade - it will sprinkle and it will not be given, and put it for the decoration of nothing - there is nowhere to take us familiar wooden pits.
They act as follows: they place a saxaula on a suitable stone and soak the tail with a tail.
So the friend and did - "rubit"... i.e. "what" he is trying to do.
Two men came and went into the process with interest.
Finally, the first, the most courageous, questioned timidly, “Listen, why are you rubbing with your shoes and not with a blade?”
The second is "Distance from people. Look at what "banks" he has on his hands. It doesn’t matter which side of the tail to cut..." O_o

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №54190
 30.09.2011
The pen is a portable monochrome jet printer.

[ + 99 - ] Comment quote №54189
 30.09.2011
In the morning after the SMS:
Why did you call me at 3:02?
I: Yes, this is not me. This child accidentally picked up, you are Anja, on "A"))
She is : AGA. And the SMS "Sleep a dog?"the child also accidentally picked up?

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №54188
 30.09.2011
I love guests, in them you can hide your failed stitch.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №54187
 30.09.2011
I forgive
If I make tea with raspberries and vodka, and there is no vodka, what is better to replace?? to
There is gin, whiskey and tequila.
If you have gin whiskey and tequila, why have you tea???? to

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №54186
 30.09.2011
If you see the picture
Drawing painted,
Painted Plain
with her eyes on her feet,
Painted Humanist
His green friend.
The sphere, the cube, the parabolic,
the sinusoidal circle,
Painted Sardinia
Two blue squares.
This is not a picture,
Some kind of shit!

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №54185
 30.09.2011
xxx(13:20:54 29/09/2011)
Why are you not in school yet?
yyy(13:21:05 29/09/2011)
The Breakfast
yyy(13:21:11 29/09/2011)
But I am going.
xxx(13:21:26 29/09/2011)
It is lunch time.
yyy(13:33:40 29/09/2011)
Really, I’ll go for lunch.

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №54184
 30.09.2011
A lecture on the theory of translation, a lesson to show that some questions can be approached from different sides, asks the question: "Call the length of your pencil or pen". One girl gets an ambulance and starts measuring a pencil. Prepod, seeing this, asks her: "Why do you, a student of a linguistic university, carry a lineup with you every day?"" A voice from the back rows: "The husband is looking for..."

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