bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №153243
 31.10.2019
On Reddit, they asked what fact you know would cause you to ask, “What fucking thing do you know! “?”



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Baseball judges are obliged to wear black underwear if their trousers break down during the game.



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If you are trying to destroy the body, then the alkaline will make it much cooler than acid. Acid is very difficult to obtain because it is an ingredient for explosives. Caustic soda is much more affordable, it is even part of soap. Once done, you will have a liquid with which you can fill the barrels and bury them somewhere. Even bones will be destroyed, they will turn into calcinated sediment. In general, you can dispose of the liquid as you want, it can even be used as a fertilizer!



Use pigs as an alternative. They eat anything and leave no trace. And yes, pork shit is a great fertilizer!



Be careful with anyone who owns a pig farm.



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After Alois Alzheimer spoke the first speech in history describing the symptoms of Alzheimer’s, no one in the audience asked him any questions or made any comments because they were all excited by the speech of the next guy on the list about compulsive masturbation.



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Although frogs have long tongues, they can’t use it to push food to their throats like humans do. Therefore, when food is in their mouth, they close their eyes and push it into their throat with their eyeballs.



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Spare on the body stomach before throwing it into the water. So it will not swell up and not emerge...



- Written by a guy who frequently commented on the topic of serial killers OO



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All mammals, from domestic cats to elephants, urinate about the same amount of time.



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Brothers and sisters, or parents and children who were separated from each other at birth or at an early age, are very sexually attractive to each other if they happen to meet in life. This phenomenon is called genetic attraction.



Well, the original Star Wars trilogy now makes sense.



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To keep the human body under water, you need about 6 standard bricks. 6 standard concrete blocks.



Is it with a swollen stomach or not?



I look at you studying.)



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An erection that lasts more than 4 hours is considered abnormal and dangerous because it leads to blood stagnation and then gangrene.



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Napolitan King Ferdinand I did not feel any compassion for his defeated enemies, and after falsely promising them an amnesty, killed them. After their murders, he mummified the bodies and added to his museum collection of mummies. If he thought someone was plotting a conspiracy against him, he simply took them with him on a tour of the museum, which was completely unhealthy, but effective.



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Male bedbugs try to sexually penetrate everything they come into contact with, even people.



Yes, because the female bedbugs do not have a hole for mating, and the males have to swallow it independently with their curved and sharp penis.



It turns out that anyone who dealt with bed bugs was raped by them.



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Sometimes, when horses are bored, they slide their penis over their stomachs so they masturbate.



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Many species of sea cucumbers evolved with teeth in the rectum, which prevented other animals from penetrating into them.



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Most cruise launches are equipped with morges for recording passengers who died during the flight.



“I’ve read somewhere that many older people have started using cruise ships instead of old-age homes. Monthly cruise tickets cost approximately the same as the cost of a monthly stay at the institution. But on board, there are all the conditions for "active" life, delicious food, cleaning, doctors and, most importantly, good weather and sea air.



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The male giraffe beats his head around the female’s bladder until she urines, and then tests the urine to determine whether the female is ovulating.



I will try to do this with my wife.



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The Nazis pumped blood from Soviet children to transfer it to their wounded soldiers.



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Most of the dolphin population is the result of rape.



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Basically, male molluscs have the longest penis-to-body ratio, and the penis actually comes out of the molluscs and goes looking for a female to have sex.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №153242
 31.10.2019
Dear car drivers! In politics and business, there is no division between boys and girls.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №153241
 31.10.2019
I went on a trip to Peter. In the Sapporo.

I am late, I run through the building of the station, distracting passengers. I understand that the train has to go a minute back, and the trains are not planes, they are rarely delayed. But I always struggle to the last: "And suddenly I didn't leave?!“”

I run to the perron, it’s worth it.
I pushed up. Here, from the door of the last wagon, a aunt in a railway shape rises up and puts her hand on me: "Fast run!“”

I walked into the door, and my aunt barely turned. I breath with the frequency of the alternating current. I hear someone in the back of my aunt ask:
What is there?
He was sitting! He responds.
The doors closed and the train hit.

I specifically defamed. I think I woke up famous. I don’t understand why suddenly?! to

I turn around, and there the stunned Boyarski stands.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №153240
 31.10.2019
At business training, we were once told, “Don’t say the word problem, say the word task.” Now everything has come to its place. Now you can not worry. Alcohol is not my problem, it is my job.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №153239
 31.10.2019
He worked in a couple of male groups, where single copies of girls were found. In appearance, they are terrible. Nature, the fox, separated them with both appearance and figure. But these girls were so cute and pleasant in communication that they quickly stopped paying attention to their exterior. These girls were barely worn on their hands. What burned the curtains of local beauties: "what, say, they (men) found such in these silver curtains (this is so local beauties about our favourites)". Beautiful and homeless, that after communicating with them created a disgusting feeling of "dog shit on the rifle floor." And after communicating with the frighteners, there was such warmth in the soul as if the goddess had embraced him.

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