It was worth one time to look for a self-propelled device in Yandex - and I was fooled with contextual advertising for three weeks. Rectification columns, areometers, distillators, distillation cubes and wine yeast were offered inexpensively. Tired, started pressing the crosses and saying that the goods were bought / the service was found, break up. And today I was met with a joyful proposal: “Alcoholism treatment! It is cheap!“”

I recently crossed the U.S. and Canada border to Buffalo. I give passport.

The border guard asks, “Who’s this passport?”

I answered, “My own.”

He mistakenly took his mother’s passport. I think it's all, or it's immediately unplugged, or it's a couple of hours gone and then unplugged.

He asked, “Did you cross the border this year?”

“Yes.”

He asked me to show my driver’s license, checked on the computer and missed it.



On the way back, the Canadian migrant asked, “How long have the Americans held you?”

I said, “Two minutes.”

They said, “Well, then we will not delay.”

A friend, even before moving to the capital, was very long and stubbornly looking for a wife. The girls he liked holistic, held throughout life, and most importantly - combining the format "the horse will stop racing" and gentle care of the home fireplace. He himself has achieved a lot, is sporty, beautiful - therefore, as they say, "has a full right." But something did not stick. One is not so, the other.



Here is the year 2015. New Year's corporate, all somewhat discouraged by the course and other news, so on the tables and on the program everything is very modest, and the institution is chosen in a remote and somewhat disadvantaged area. But the boss in the form of an exception went to concessions, and allowed to invite in addition to the husbands - wives for 1 friend - a friend, to expand the company, so to speak. A friend's colleague hinted the day before that he would invite one of his very interesting friends, a girl who is extraordinary and "confident you will like it."



The company is small and everyone can sit at one table. A small explanation - the hall started right behind the restaurant door, dressed right in it, and the bathroom - at the other end of the entrance.

The chef says a toast, and at this moment a girl enters the hall, in a expensive shirt, beautiful, but only her appearance is such as if she had just been fucked in the back seat of a taxi for half an hour, and she barely had time to put herself in order a little - the cosmetics slightly "drived", the hair is shaken, the breath is heavy, etc.

Masha, what has happened?

- You imagine, a taxi driver on the ice in the pillar entered 500 meters from here, I think close - I will come. And in the middle of the road, four copters tied up - wanted to take the bag along with the sweater.

In the hall, the angry male and female outcry of the format "How terrible to live in this city", "What is done around", "How can a girl walk around the area alone at such a time" and so on.

And only a friend's colleague, Masha's girlfriend suddenly bleeds and cries out:

Masha, are they alive?

Alive and alive! and calm! Two of them fled, and for the others I called an ambulance.



P.S. My friend is well married, my daughter is 2 years old. He says that there is no disagreement in the family, because it is more expensive to argue with the counterintelligence major:)))))



© travel1980

I stayed at my grandmother’s house and she left for her birthday. She had a lamp, thick like that. I watch NTV, a report is going, about ghosts, and there they show a fragment from the movie "Call", where the grandmother is looking directly at you. Here the light is cut off. And in old telics after turning off the silhouette of the image remains for a while. In general, I am lying alone in the dark, and this grandmother is looking at me... I ran out of the house and sat on the bench, waiting for my grandmother. He arrived late.

Yesterday, a man brought me a car for polishing. Precisely pour the lacquer and polish. (In a few years, the old lacquer was very "crushed") I prepared the car in two days, and poured the lacquer. And today he calls me with such a thought, the wife said that if the car for the new year is in repair, then the whole year will be, and you need to urgently pick up the car. I say that the lacquer is not dry, if you drive it out under the snow and dirt with road salt, then everything will be sad. But as they say, the customer is more visible, and he tomorrow "at lunch* takes the car, which I finished lacking today at 8 p.m., and they and their wife go to their family in another city. Fortunately, all my calls are recorded and all this nonsense I have saved for the event of a preview. This is how weakness triumphs over healthy thinking.

It is bad when there is little humor in life, even worse when there is a lot of satire.

Auschniks and representatives of criminal subcultures clearly distinguish with whom you can eat at the same table, and with whom not, this distinction is characteristic of any caste system.
Tolerant Europeans are alien to this division, and the interaction of representatives of these cultures sometimes leads to a bizarre plot.

A vivid example is the story of the Swedish ambassador and his Hindu driver. The two worked together for 10 years, during which the ambassador regularly rushed to serve his driver with sandwiches, breakfasts and lunches. The driver was always polite and refused to eat alone.
For the tenth year the ambassador was persistent in his invitation, reluctantly stating that the difference in their social status, which he believed was the cause of the rejections, meant nothing to him, offered to reject modesty and prejudice and eat together.
The driver replied that he could not reject prejudice in any way, as a brahman, it was difficult for him to take food with an ambassador not belonging to the two-time baron, and accordingly standing below him in the cast system. In the picture of the world of the chauffeur, the ambassador for 10 years tried to spoil his karma (to spoil in our way), but the brahmin, stiffened by the framework of service relations, was forced to give himself the labor to refuse him extremely polite.

Turtles can survive a nuclear war, but they cannot survive a newspaper strike.
This once again proves how dangerous modern paper media is.