bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №41156
 04.01.2011
The human DNA is 55% identical to the banana DNA.

That explains everything!

[ + 84 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41155
 04.01.2011
xxx: And why there - the Ranets will be on the warming up at Ozzy Osbourne. And, they say, this is not a joke.
Do you think they will burn well?

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №41154
 04.01.2011
Darhan (22:56) :
Will we have practice tomorrow?

by caltech (23:03) :
The exam is tomorrow.)

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №41153
 04.01.2011
XXX: Happy New Year!! to
Tagged: fucking fucking
Tagged: mya
YYYYYYYYYYY
Tagged: fucking
YYYY: And you too!""!!!! to
You are sober :D
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYY: Blessed
YYY: shorter than
YYY: We will argue
Yyy: The New Year
I have noticed :D

[ + 84 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41152
 04.01.2011
And yet the ideal of female beauty for me is Anderson.
YYY is Hans Christian.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №41151
 04.01.2011
Church historians have found a manuscript – the statement of Jesus Christ about joining the party “United Russia”. The document will be submitted for general review.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №41150
 04.01.2011
According to official data, in Belarus the total commander prefers 79.67% of the population.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №41149
 04.01.2011
He: I love to eat the meat of small enotics, muhahaha.
She: It happens
He: And you too?
She is: No. I prefer to fuck them.
He is: What?
You and your words.
She: I wanted to say "to smooth", but I was sealed.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №41148
 04.01.2011
Question-answer: What to play on the compete

XXX: What to play?

Yyy: Play with your child. If there is no child: play with your wife - take the child. If you don’t have a wife: play with a girl, take a child and a wife. Then you will play table hockey together and at the same time improve the demographics in the country. Signed by: Vladimir Putin

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №41147
 04.01.2011
On January 1, any non-alcoholic fluid under the eyes of the celebrants is transformed into Holy Water.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41146
 04.01.2011
Money may not bring happiness, but it helps to mitigate the strikes of fate.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №41145
 04.01.2011
xxx:you would see me happy... wearing one trousers, one socks and a jacket... then tired and in this form I sit now print

[ + 30 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41144
 04.01.2011
Thema, having entered Sechenovka, fell into several stories at once, which barely caused the future of the glow of Russian medicine to go away prematurely. First, he found out that having an attractive appearance and an excellent school certificate is dangerous: these two facts draw in the professors' imagination a boyfriend with a nymph around his head, and try to prove that you are from birth a walking atomic bomb and a punk character.
In short, Tom, against his will, was appointed senior of the group. Beautiful eyes and a silver medal seemed to the dean quite strong arguments for this appointment. Thoma protested as he could and even compromise himself: he told how he once burned a class magazine with acid at a chemistry class. There is no effect! The Dean raised his finger and said something like this:
Do not argue, young man. I have a diamond eye, I am thirty.
Over the years, three divisions of students reviewed. If I say you are the best
The old man for this shit, so it is. Sha to! Question is closed.

It is difficult to lead people, if before even your own spaniel listened to you on big holidays. But Tom tried. And yet, you will not escape from fate - it will catch you, fall on the shoulder and shut your feet in style.
and Tarantino.
He suffered because of the wonders of Russian science. In the entire civilized world it is considered normal if the universe is taught by scientists from one hundred and fifty countries: the Hindu reads a lecture about mice, the Chinese puts experiments on them, and the laboratory assistant with them is a papua. You are right, may Fred.
Because if you want to develop nanopapper technology, and in your country no professor has heard about nanopapper technology, there is one way out – to invite from abroad the chopper Englishmen, the quacking Americans and the hairy Italians, so that youth teach them. To be in
In 1740 Lomonosov could take off from Arkhangelsk, in 1712 the Russian
The Academy of Sciences was founded by Leibniz. Or if Lomonosov so did, or that they were there and their daddy caught in the White Sea. Are you smiling?

Until they are invited to Russia. But kindly exchanging students with Europeans and Americans is the first medical university of the country. One day, Thoma was summoned to the rectorate, placed in front of the clear eyes of the pro-rector and heard the following flaming speech:
“Hmm... Artyom, there’s an important thing for you. I prepared a list.
Students going to the United States for exchange. Only he,
You know, a little big – twenty-four people. They can go.
and fifteen. If the stars come together, there are twenty. Hm... at least,
More than twenty of the Sechenovka have never claimed – the Americans
their own quota. You will take this list together with the characteristics of
Students go to American Councils, so it’s called.
Agency for Educational Exchange. Here is the address.
and well.
Hm, now about the most important thing. I will explain why you are going. at us
Tradition: each October to send them with this list of one of the
The oldest primary students. And, you know, I noticed – the more pleasant and
The more educated the person who brings the list, the more our
Students go to the United States. Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but I’m like that.
I believe signs. I usually sent a girlfriend, but this year we’re with them.
unlucky – either a face of badness or darkness, like a tundra. And you and
appearance, and friendliness, and a ruby on the cheeks. You, by the way, look like something
The American. I will test you in English.
The pro-rector easily switched to English, and they and Thoma talked for three minutes on all kinds of universe topics.
very well. Hm-hm... It’s so, in any case – they’re all Russian.
They speak very well, so without the need for English do not quack. well
Go with God. Be polite there!

Thema picked up a valuable package under the mouse and went to perform the assignment.
He thought all the way about how to start a conversation. Meeting important people is like a serious conversation with a father or a confession to a beloved girl: the main thing is to boldly say the first phrase, and then it will be easier.
However, Thomas did not feel a special burden of responsibility: his veins did not shake, and he felt as confident as Moses, carrying the tables to the people.

In the American Councils, however, confidence in him improved. The secretary, pleasant in all respects, said that Artyom would have to go to office number three and hand over the list personally to the vice president of the company, Michael R.
Thoma walked through a long corridor, feeling the curious gaze of the young people who were again on him, and timidly knocked on the door of the third office.
- Come in, come in, - jokingly proposed from inside someone's voice.
The theme entered. There was no Vice President Michael R. there. The office number three was a large room, where there were several tables with computers, but only one of them was now occupied - behind him was a guy of twenty-four, looking like a graduate student, in a characteristic relaxing posture - crossed legs he put on the table, and in his hands held a scientific journal.
Are you looking for someone? It’s lunch break, everyone is running away.
He spoke with a barely visible accent. Do you have a list of students in your hands?
Put it here and sit down. Until we talk.
Thoma sat on a chair, and then his gaze fell on a basketball poster behind the back of the guy – the center "Orlando Madgick" Dwight Howard in a jump pushed the ball into the basket. Their eyes burned:
Do you suffer from Orlando too?
I was born in Orlando! Are you really a fan? A guy together.
He dropped his legs from the table. Second year in Russia and for the first time I see a person.
We can talk about our team. Kindred Spirit, as
Is it Russian?
A relative soul.
and exactly! Did you see how we hit Atlanta yesterday? Whoa! I have not long
I have seen such overtime! He went to American English and broke.
Twice as fast as Russian.
Stan van Gandhi has promised to eat his moustaches if Orlando doesn’t get to the final.
The conference. A real man! Congratulations to the new coach of the team.
A hurricane, not a coach. The guy agreed. Listen, you are not.
Are you in a hurry? Make tea with cake. Nancy made a great homework.
Cake with apples.

Thema sat down for the cake and so, word for word, they talked with the fun postgraduate student for forty minutes. Thome, in fact, did not want to leave - with his best friend Yarik about the NBA you will not talk, and sports bars, where basketball is watched by men with beer and stomachs, Thoma did not visit.
Conducting it, the postgraduate student looked at the list of students placed on the table by Thoma.
Are you from Seychelles?
and yes. The first honey.
This is really a great universe. All doctors with a diploma.
Recommendations in the United States are the best. Good doctors, by the way,
More than physicists and programmers. See you Artie. I hope,
We will see again.

The next day, Toma was called back to the rectorate. When he entered, he saw a white, like a canvas, pro-rector who told him three striking news: 1) of the twenty-four students on a trip to New York.
The states were approved all twenty-four; 2) Artem received by fax a personal thanks from Vice President of the American Councils, Michael R. ;
3) about Artem called from the FSB and wondered - how could a first-time student have received a personal thanks from the vice president of a large American company, if before this in Russia received such thanks only 2 people, and these people - the rector of the Moscow State University and the deputy minister of education?

What could Tom answer? Tell the pro-rector how cool Dwight Howard is doing slams for Orlando?

– Boy, I don’t know what you did there, but keep in mind.
In 1966, you would have been jailed for such connections, and in 1986, you would have been removed.
by Uza.
“Thank God that this is the 2008 year, Professor,” Toma breathed out. I can
to go?
Oh yeah, take the thank you. Useful paper – suddenly in the future
It will be useful if you go in the light. Hm...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №41143
 04.01.2011
On the morning of January 1, a man stands in the wine and vodka shop with tears in his eyes. Another approach to him:
You are what? There is no vodka, right?
There is.
No money?
There is.
So why do you suffer?
I do not want!

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №41142
 04.01.2011
No one asked him to fall in love with him...I was just cuddly, and I didn’t decide to fuck him out of great love...Or did he consider me a cuddly interlocutor when I slept with my eyes open?

[ + 55 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №41141
 04.01.2011
Just girls can't fuck men in pop, so they fuck men's brains

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №41140
 04.01.2011
Now that he knows he’s cute, he doesn’t need to make any effort to be special. His life is dedicated to girls. Most likely he will marry a young man and only by the age of 40 will realize that he is just a piece of shit.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №41139
 04.01.2011
A nephew pulled the chocolate Santa Claus, unfolded... and there the Pope of Rome...
I don’t know what to think now =)

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №41138
 04.01.2011
TV channel Hunting and Fishing, program Dialogue about fishing. On the screen, fishermen catching fish standing in the water. And here the host issues:'Don't freeze the fishermen standing but the ankle in the water helps the jacket.'

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №41137
 04.01.2011
The mother walks in the street, and a happy son runs behind.
Son: Mom, I just caught a pigeon! Do you want a fresh pigeon?

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