bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №107717
 04.01.2015
I have been waiting for the kids in the morning. I read the forum. Talk about music ambience. Let me listen, I think. Going into Google, he dropped me a bunch of links to all kinds of online radio stations, online broadcasters for mobile and so on. So, I burned a tueva huch of traffic, on all the sites when you click on the performer, a bunch of photos, videos with the performer, a list of similar tags takes half a page, the button "Listen" is always somewhere in the corner and is not loaded, as if it is swirling from a server on the moon. I took three browsers - the pictures are different, but the essence is the same. Half of the sins jumped. The archive and the archive. Did you get rid of him and cha? Enigma, eat her

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107716
 04.01.2015
Twelve years ago, I was a teacher at school. I am a lawyer and I love my job. Today I dreamed that I was a teacher, checking notes. I woke up in a cold sweat of horror.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №107715
 04.01.2015
With LORA, post about software for syntax analysis of text.
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Sit on a porbrik at the parade opposite the bakery with strawberries to eat shivers with chicken and strawberries.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107714
 04.01.2015
Here I noticed that the difference between the birthdays of more than half of my acquaintances and one of their parents is roughly the same. 9 months.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107713
 04.01.2015
Kamchatka is not just you congratulated! Your one hour clock.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №107712
 04.01.2015
An official whose children and money are behind the hook will never work for his homeland.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107711
 04.01.2015
The German entrepreneur T., having decided to test the myth that in Moscow no one reads contracts, asked his German lawyers to include a special item in the standard text of the employment contract for employees of the Russian office.
So in paragraph 8.3.1, concerning the circumstances of force majeure ("technogenic and natural disasters, military actions, terrorist acts"), the words appeared: "Conquest of the Earth by non-human intergalactic invaders."
The agreement was silently signed by all employees of the Russian office, including the local lawyer.
The latter fact brought the German entrepreneur T. into a thirsty horror, and he summoned this lawyer to his office.
Have you read this contract?
and naturally.
No is! Did not read, did not read. What about paragraph 8.3.1?! to
The normal point.
The non-human invaders?! to
And then the lawyer of the Russian office bowed to the German entrepreneur T. and quietly, affectionately said:
Look around you...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №107710
 04.01.2015
"It is necessary to come to the store early, so that there is little people, and quickly buy everything and do not stand in the rows," the whole city thought.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №107709
 04.01.2015
I am just crazy about the saleswoman of our "Salute". Three little nephews run at once at her house, plus the kids often jump into the store, and she loves to express themselves vitivato. So now in her, and at the same time in our lexicon, such forms of life have appeared as the flying hole, the seed hole, the Pripyat unicorn, the vulvocentric turbosoroc (who of the children will understand the meaning of the word "vulva"?), as well as various gastrocephals, nephritic sticks and infusory socks successfully replace the traditional butchers, blades, dumb puzzles / hives and dwarves. Everything is censored and original. Thanks to Olga Timofeevna.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107708
 04.01.2015
<Nash-Mash> 686: The master offered me a hyprocom. I sent him and laid the bricks.
<NASH-MYASH> Proem has bet, not the master.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107707
 04.01.2015
Avrora_Goddess: And I thought at 40 it was a celebration
-------------------
How old are you, dear?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107706
 04.01.2015
I sit on the couch and eat iris. The cat approaches, sits closer and begins to watch straight on the iris. I open a new coffee, I offer the cat, he turns his nose, but continues to silently hypnotize the iris.

Here it comes to me that he’s not waiting for an iris, but when he’s a fancy thrown to play :-)

A harsh childhood, the journey not only in the "shoe" was...

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107705
 04.01.2015
Zzzz is great. Thanks to the sanctions, cows will be fed with rocket engines!

At first, I tried for a while to remember that cows were introduced against us for sanctions.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107704
 04.01.2015
No is no. He in the 6th grade dreamed that when he was forty, he would take care of a woman 10 years younger than himself :) Ordinary thing, by the way.
___
The usual thing is when you’re over forty.
And in the sixth grade, children are horrified to imagine how their parents, slightly over thirty, are still able to have sex. And forty years - people don't live so long)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107703
 04.01.2015
xxx: New "smart" device, how many of them?)) Theymo
YYY: Everyone makes smart, but there is no smart lady (
zzz: They’re smart, just they’re smart enough not to connect with you =P

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №107702
 04.01.2015
Asked by the newspaper who could be responsible for the government computer attack, Leithner said it was "difficult to answer." However, according to him, since we are talking about "digital footprints", they "could have been left by the Russians to make it look like it was done by the Americans."
Could it be a courtyard? Maybe a crown.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №107701
 04.01.2015
xxx: we even have imported cows docking machines, that is to say more technological things
yyy: but missile engines and nuclear reactors are exported
Zzzz is great. Thanks to the sanctions, cows will be fed with rocket engines!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №107700
 04.01.2015
I was a little girl in school, drinking started only in the universe community. And so my mom still remembers a 10-year-old story that barely cost her a heart attack. A vigilant mother waited for me by the window from the graduation school until the morning, and therefore almost fainted when a police officer (at the time still) was stopped near the entrance and two mints under white blades pulled me out of it. I was just a little girl and I was afraid to go back through the city all night and polently asked the mints to take me home.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107699
 04.01.2015
I had a situation. It was necessary to solve one trouble and I published its essence on several forums. The day passed and I decided on my own, and published her decision, closing the topic on one forum. What was my surprise when someone suggested MY same decision on another forum two days later)))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107698
 04.01.2015
At one time my girlfriend enrolled in the institute by specialty "engineer-enricher"
My mother, who was skeptical about our relationship, thought...

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