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[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №159216
 04.01.2023
A frightening new year!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №159215
 04.01.2023
The joke...

When Sochi taxi driver Garic took a late tourist to the airport and accidentally jumped out onto the Formula 1 track, he won the race and became the winner.

When asked by the correspondent, how did he do that?

I answered E! The Brother! I know the city better than these travellers!



One of my toasts on New Year's Eve was for Sochi taxi drivers and now I'll tell you why?

A week before the New Year, we and the company went to ski, but unfortunately there was very little snow there, two small tracks worked and after three minutes of descent had to stand in line for an hour.

Therefore, we decided not to sneeze and rest so to say for the soul, walk, swing and night favorite club.

Time flew unnoticed, friends stayed for another day and I for very urgent office affairs blood from my nose needed to leave on Sunday evening.

As always before departure we sat well waiting for a taxi and as I thought with the stock of time I went to Adler to the railway station.

Why then I was sure that the landing was from there, and I even called the time to friends but they said that tomorrow they are going on the same train but it leaves early for thirty minutes, but the thick whiskey dimmed the mind, the thick relaxing rest I didn’t give that importance.

The taxi driver brought where I said, wishing a happy journey went away.

I went up the top with my suitcase and a ski coat with ammunition and started to catch the train. It was 30 minutes before the departure but there was no train on the board.

As I went down to the second floor, I saw a group of taxi drivers to whom I went and asked where was the reference?

Brother, what do you need? We will tell you!

The train has to leave in twenty-eight minutes, but it doesn’t.

What is the train number?

Such is it!

Show me your ticket!

I have shown.

Brother, you have landed from Sochi, and your train has already gone!

I saw the lights of the last wagon.

To say that I was fooled, nothing to say!

The next morning I should meet the commission in person from Moscow and a bunch of meetings were also appointed where I should personally attend what I promised to the Chief when he shrugged my heart to let me rest.

The cold flooded on the back, the anus compressed so strongly that they could eat a break!

I realized I hit!

This is the end! I am fucking!

The despair on my face showed the depth of the ass I fell into, and all the taxi drivers looked at me with regret and compassion.

But then one young taxi driver offered to catch up with the train, the whole crowd stunned - E, Brother! You will not succeed!

But the boy quickly grabbed my skies and we ran to his minibus.

Already when we were throwing things in the luggage, another taxi driver, knowing where we were going, shouted that we would not have time anyway.

This is the wisdom, I thought.)

I must say that the taxi driver was a professional!

Taking the navigator the way to the station and time, it crashed with such a speed that I wandered a little!

He instructed me to call from the Sochi reference station and find out when the train is coming to them.

After five minutes of quarrelling with the electronic assistant, we found out how much the train costs.

The taxi driver in his mind threw the navigator data and the time for landing said that we can arrive at the Sochi station four minutes before departure and I will not be able to make the landing with inspection.

The despair on my face was so strong that he told me – Don’t worry! We will solve this problem! Go to Loa!

The light of hope shone again in my soul.

He immediately hit Loo’s navigator and told me to call the reference station again.

After another minute with the electronic assistant, I talked with the operator and learned that the train was going there for thirty-three minutes and thirteen minutes standing on the sidewalk.

A taxi driver drowned gas in the floor and we rushed out of Sochi!

The city was empty and we only stood for a minute at the lighthouse!

Then the serpentine began.

Here I remembered another joke about a taxi driver Rafic who on a serpentine in the night of two hundred pressed out the instruments and nervously stumbled.

I was afraid to remember mathematics and cursed myself that I studied this subject badly in school, trying to calculate looking at the navigator and time on the phone will succeed or not?

He laid the windshields, fortunately there were few cars, and here below we can see Loo's lights, but the taxi driver cooled my joy, saying that there would be another serpentine.

The anus began to shrink again, but now the settlement, it turned out that it was not Loo and Aqua Loo.

I said out loud that we probably won’t have time, but the guy’s phrase made me move again.

It is an honor for me that you will not be late.

And then I saw that we were going parallel to the train that came to the station and delighted him as a native.

But then the navigator began to point out that we went to the right and after two kilometers turned and approached the station from the right side.

I don’t listen to iron. Don’t worry, we’ll cross the road!

And here is the station, a guy running with my skies, and I with a suitcase in a ski jacket.

The race was another.

The last time I ran with my suitcase in London at the airport was when I was late on the plane.

During the check-up, the guy cried out that I was late and the guards opened the door with their hand indicating the direction.

After running out on the perron with skies and suitcases, I jumped across the paths and ran to the train, and my wagon was the last, but here I was ready to attack any wagon in order not to stay.

The conductors on the chain that it was late, which was very fun.

As I approached the wagon, I saw a fun guide who laughed and said that I should walk in peacefully as it was two minutes before departure.

And then the forces naturally left me, I could not lift the suitcase into the car, the feeling was such that I could not even pick up a drink, the body became cotton, as if a stranger and in my ears was a bell.

The men who smoked on the perron helped bring things in the coupe, I sat on the shelf and dumb began to watch the train depart from the perron.

Did my wife call me on the train?

Everything is normal, Sunshine! I’m on the train and I’m waiting for tea.

The conductor, seeing my condition, immediately brought tea, and only after that I realized that I was in the train and thanks to that unfamiliar guy I was able to get out of the ass I could get into.

Thank you my unknown friend, who once again showed that there are no out-of-the-out situations, and that for a real professional it is an honor that the passenger is not late!

So now I have a separate toast for Sochi taxi drivers! For real professionals!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №159214
 04.01.2023
Santa reads his wishes and cries:
I am your killer, right?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №159213
 04.01.2023
On the way home from work, I went to the store to buy chicken heads for my cat. And on the autopilot I ask the seller the question:

Do you have cat heads?

The answer was epic:

To feed the chicken?

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