He: I finally pulled you to bed!!!! to
she: :-D need to remember the date - 3 October, time - 23:16
He is AHA. You are in my bed!!! to
She: I knock something in the skype window on your notebook))))))))))))))

From Twitter:
@IAmKarlson: onanism is like the wheel-de-mort, it cannot be spoken about, but it exists

[14:27] Stanislav: So here is confusion. I’m going home in a crowded bus, a couple of which passed dumb. Pity on all sides. I listen to music and try not to get nervous. Here I hear the right ear falls out, because what a grandmother's wire is stuck to the player. Well, I’ve already gotten short, I’ve gotten short. In one hand a backpack, the other I hold on the order. On the lighting, I sharply release the instructions and I begin to look for the headphone, I touch the wire, I pull, and the headphone is stuck by the dog, I pull stronger, it gets into my hand, I clamp it in my ear and tell that in different ears different music plays.
[14:28] Stanislav: Well, there is an Arab who hangs over me with sincere astonishment.
[14:29] Stanislav: From his point of view, everything is even more funny. It is worth some thick Russian, then you pull a headphone from your ear, insert it to yourself, and then watch you. I had to get a request to put that thread funny.

News of Sport. For "Spartak" for the first time in the season scored Russian(s) I figue from this country)))))

Dean: The tenderness in me is like a hamster of barley needles, of course, it is possible to stir it artificially, but then the hamster will die from this conclusion: I would rather remain a vicious and alive hamster than a dead underdog.

I eat blue salad. They eat like horses.
EvGenius: I feed the cat with blueberries. The cat is pleased.

Yaya: 1.14 gig - a lot, it will be a long...
Leave the computer on for the night.
Yaya: I can’t do that. Very little can happen...
WOW, maybe the network cable will break and the internet will flood the neighbors...

release of criminal news:"builders,who broke down the wall of a residential house, stating that it was intended"

XXX is a female orgasm. Was it the laser?
See also: UGU After the Matrix

A doctor in a private clinic: "And if infertility is not treated, it will be inherited from generation to generation!"

Danish
We are definitely better than men! ?

Polina
Without a doubt, Dan)))

– Germain
Of course, it’s better, therefore, guys and fuck you, not each other!!! to

My neighbor on the party masks his veil under a cough, and then we sit and cuddle from a cough. How to delicately write syrup from cough?

Dear drivers, before hammering, cutting and roaring on the roads, remember that a year in Russia buy 100 baseball beats and only 3 baseball balls.

xxx: I will soon have a brain cancer from mathan tasks
xxx: * cancer of the brain))
Yyy: the first phrase was more accurate.

The conversation of the husband and wife in the morning before the start of the working day (in the evening they made a change):
Mr Olya! Where are my socks?
In the closet on the lower shelf.
And the cowards?
There is a floor above.
Where is my shirt?
Y is. Fuck it! Can you do anything without me?! to
M is Yes!
H is what?
M is (with a silent voice and as if offended)

by Christina:
Good day

by Alexander:
I welcome.

by Christina:
I decided to meet Christina.

by Alexander:
is cool. I’m, as you’ve guessed, Vasily, but you can just call me Kolya.

Christina removed you from her list of friends.

Alexander: It is right, chao! XD is

On the net found:
The phrase from the advertisement: "If children cough - they will help a blue mouse!". I really want to answer: "If you do advertising - do not smoke marijuana!"

We fight with the child. Of course I give up. But in the end I win. An annoyed man goes to the kitchen to his father and says, "I want to be as strong as my mom - electricity without breastfeeding."

You are drying in your throat. Hands are not. You start to feel sitting. Your limbs refuse to obey you. And only then you realize that the password that you changed literally yesterday, you entered in Cyrillic...

How many therapists have a gigabit?
How much is one song?
One song is eight beers.