bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №153104
 04.10.2019
How I see spiders in ordinary life:

After waking up in the morning, and realizing that he was asleep, and 98 seconds before the start of the working day, the ranner jumped out of bed, landing 47 centimeters from the closet, thus avoiding the process of sewing. The morning script breaks, which allows you to pass the phase of brushing your teeth. Furthermore, making a jump in the direction of the closet, he is hit by a small left foot in a leap, thus activating the shirt clothing trigger. Then, making a leap from the wall toward the kitchen, he enters the batin soup, thus skipping the screenshot with the morning talk. Sagraving Batty on himself, he launches the script for opening the entrance door. Having received a pedal-bust from the bat, the ranner reaches the car in 2.5 seconds. Going to work is not necessary. After all, if you have time to open and close the door in two thousand seconds, the car will think that it has already arrived and will take you straight to the office. This moment is the most difficult in execution, as you can accidentally move to the country.

Going into the office, and having received a pedal-bust from the cleaner, the spider-trainer flies in the direction of the coffee machine. Hit a coffee machine with your head can get a little damage, but break the script of drinking coffee. Thus, the body thinking that it has received a dose of caffeine triggers a thought process. And the ranner remains only to make a triple saldo towards the workplace, to realize that today is Sunday.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №153103
 04.10.2019
They have to open the Pandora’s box there, and we have to cut a window into Europe.

[ + -2 - ] Comment quote №153102
 04.10.2019
The Yerevan

Bella Anatolievna worked in our accounting office. Careful, knowledgeable, always ready to help, the benefits from her were many. Everyone knew you want to please her.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №153101
 04.10.2019
One girl had not gone to school for so long that her parents called her to the United Nations.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №153100
 04.10.2019
We had new owners and decided that our power station operators in the number closer to 100 should have a beautiful uniform and entrusted it to me as the youngest and stupid one who didn’t have time to jump.

I came up with the design, decided that in the image of the stewardess, (white blouse, green shirt, a green shirt on the neck, a green cockpit, a green jacket for the case of cool weather) they will look spectacular that would delight the eyes of long-distance drivers.

I ordered the administrators to send the sizes of their employees, received these lists, and then the problems began, these women could not be determined with their sizes! Calls with requests to change the specified size were issued every minute, and from the same people since once, I stopped these attempts almost immediately, but they hit everyone! From the cleaner to the chief engineer, even the general managed to call, the final size was impossible to and I put into production what was, sewn in the studio of certified materials for ass and it was a separate epic.

But the worst thing started when I sent sets of shapes on the objects, it turned out to be really beautiful and they liked it, unfortunately, almost all 100% of women were fucked up with their sizes!!! In the smaller two-three-size side, as it turned out, they were embarrassed to say their true sizes and counted upon receiving to take a set larger without a fire, but it didn’t run because it was sewn in the studio, and they were distributed by name, the noise was wild, I was watered with the last words, the phones burned, from the end of the area they were screaming that I was squeezing some shit and they don’t get in, they even hit the general and he presented me, we found some norms on the size of the clothes took a meter and measured, everything matched, the director passed the order that the shape was good, and they didn’t get out of what they were paying too much and they passed out of that, fast, all went in, and they really looked

So next time I would buy shapeless ballahans xxxxxxxxxxlsize.

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