bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №72567
 04.11.2012
Mikhail Zhvanetsky (MK)

We had Tychon, a black, lame, struggling Odessa cat with blades. He came to us to sleep. Sleeping, shaking his legs, all day, it could be carried for 1 leg. Where was he at night? Looking for love adventures in different courts. Tikhon gave birth to a lot of children, like him. I, looking at him, began to suspect that cats also have sexually transmitted diseases. Tychon was not sick, but I had no doubt that he was rolling unknown where and entering disorderly connections. Although my dad, a doctor, said that cats don’t get sexually transmitted diseases, it only occurs in humans. After the turbulent nights, Tychon slept with us like a barley, but at the same time, in general, kept the refrigerator, which had to be opened with him. As someone approached, a loud voice immediately sounded out:"Miau, what is it? Let’s look at it!" They all looked together. The cat said "About this I would eat!"
Tycho could feed himself. He needed a place to sleep and food if he suddenly disappeared. Not here, but in the neighborhood. The cat could move on its own, and, in my opinion, he was coming to us in the tram.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №72566
 04.11.2012
The washing machine broke, the master called.
The filters were blurred.
Making the cleaning, the master explains: "Just before laying the dishes, it must be washed off from the remains of food and rinse under running water."
Is it so bad for me then?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №72565
 04.11.2012
A huge thank you to the Ministry of Justice of the Russian Federation - when everything gets bored on the Internet, it becomes boring and uninteresting - I go into the list of prohibited materials and look for them... There is a suspicion that this list is like a huge advertising board.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №72564
 04.11.2012
Rambo
The Terminator
The Universal Soldier.
Oh school...

Chuck Norris is a cool Walker. Generally...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №72563
 04.11.2012
I: Okay, but you give me up!

Wife: OK, but when the menstrual or throat passes. What before


[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №72562
 04.11.2012
X: What happened here?
Why is there nobody?
Tagged: cgznm
xxx: no, but not cgznm
Oh my God, it is terrible.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №72561
 04.11.2012
International group of hackers declared Russian cyber war
The Civil War again?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №72560
 04.11.2012
From the forum about taxi drivers:

I was driving here recently. I just sat down and I have a driver here for no reason: "Today I bought an iron battery...."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №72559
 04.11.2012
The year 2100. Google Corporation has established a dictatorship on Earth and pays citizens for finding holes in the laws.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №72558
 04.11.2012
We see something pseudo-scientific on Ren-TV: “Criminal statistics show that in full moon the number of theft and theft is significantly increasing...”.
Our boy’s comment: “So in the full moon it’s better to see!”

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №72557
 04.11.2012
I sit in Skype from my smartphone, communicate, while eating seeds. Mechanically spit the peel straight into the screen. The interlocutor through some shame: Suri that did not answer, something got in the eye! He killed!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №72556
 04.11.2012
xx: Okay, but you have to take into account, if you want to have rights on me, you will get duties. So you are cunnilingus, and...
xy : ) )
xx: I'm trying to come up with a male equivalent of borst, don't get out of mind...
xy: I can pull the stick))
XX: Oh what a clever one! Minet and borst every day you want, and the shelf to wrap once a year will need to be, and that is not a fact! So you will also be wrapped in the cunnilingus:"Headache hurts", "I don’t have those days today", "I’m tired"...
XX is invented. A shelf, such a shelf. You’ll be shooting the day before, carefully!!! Close the hole and pull it again. Well, or scrape the crane every day, and collect it again.
Xy: No, well his naphig, such a joint life. I’d rather go to dinner with my mom.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №72555
 04.11.2012
(from comments to the article on sparring with the iPod)
Do you get 81 lbs?
WOW: It is almost. I remember at school, a grandmother-teacher of German under 90 years of age openly told us seven classmates, "Hey, why are you holding your hands under the barrel? You are engaged in onanism?" - after this moral trauma, I fixed for my whole life that the main success of writing is when my hands are over the counter :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №72554
 04.11.2012
... suddenly it became clear that their specialty was not certified, and all were taken to the army.

By the way, it is not funny at all, and it does not depend on the quality of the universe. The fact is that the specialty in principle cannot be certified until it was first issue in the university. Therefore, the first 5 years after the opening of a new specialty in the university, all its students fall into the risk group. And here it all depends only on the availability of the leadership of the university of the necessary links and the ability to negotiate with the local military committee.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №72553
 04.11.2012
Comments on Youtube

xxx> the first
yyy> gangbang
zzz> You have pretty exotic names

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №72552
 04.11.2012
Reel
If you go out in the winter, I will invite you to a cup of something delicious.
Loki
The main thing is not to go to Esmarch.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №72551
 04.11.2012
miss_mody@lj: I still believe that a person should not drink milk after giving up their breasts)
Zloradskij: Well, I don’t remember anything to refuse them. Unless they are terrible...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №72550
 04.11.2012
From the Fish Forum:
Somics are great fish! I had them when I was a kid, but their puppy ate them cry.
Fuck the puppy.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72549
 04.11.2012
I read the news in the morning:
Hurricane in America
Flooding in Venice
War in Syria
The whole world is celebrating Halloween!

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72548
 04.11.2012
I’m going to Booth today. Meeting a 27-year-old mother with a son who is four years old. My son says, “Mom, you’re not right. My mom says, I am wrong. You are wrong! “No mom, you are not right. Mother: Why is this? Because you are a woman!!! to

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