bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121430
 04.12.2015
Q: Would you give me 50 thousand?
M2: No of course, did you shrink?! to
M1: And for 2 million?
Q: Do you have two million?? to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121429
 04.12.2015
They got me as with this "everyone says, and you buy an elephant"

No matter whether the face is male or female, we answer.

"Smile in the ass gives"
Funny dialogue
Buy an elephant (speaks, for example, Siddhartha (a)
A: A is in the ass.
The phrase "everyone says that the ass gives, and you buy an elephant" is just not engraved.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121428
 04.12.2015
The zoological soap:

The haters of wandering dogs do not know how to distinguish between wandering and non-wandering. They caught the bullshit from the half-handed seams of the guard... Really homeless dwellers are peaceful and affectionate...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tagged with "Komsomolsky" Come here fool! Play with a peaceful and affectionate band, headed by a perfectly self-reliant boxer, by the way. At the same time, you can share your point of view with moms who take sticks with them while walking with children. If after meeting with the mommies you may be alive, then after communicating with the'sweet housewives' there are no guarantees.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121427
 04.12.2015
- And what is the status of our presentation for Americans?‎
She is perfect.
Is it ready?
It exists only in the world of ideas (‎

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121426
 04.12.2015
Defenders of wandering dogs usually argue about their point of view as follows: “I am not attacked by dogs, so they are not aggressive. It’s all people’s fault" If you haven’t seen something, it doesn’t mean it isn’t. The statistics indicate that they are still being attacked.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121425
 04.12.2015
and Bond:
Within me are a misanthropist and a workoholic. Maybe a sad sight.

I work and I hate hahaha.

by Eugene :
Do you work with people?

and Bond:
No is. The engineers of our institute

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121424
 04.12.2015
I’ll feed you properly, you just fuck me regularly.
M: I’ll fuck you right, you just feed me regularly.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №121423
 04.12.2015
Olya Zhmachinskaya
Why secretly confess in love and not in hatred? Runs up to the man your 'gone' and says,'mol, it's you from a secret hater, handed over a box of candy with a note, and in it 'it's you, miserable heaplet, I despise you' and candy is still such blasphemous, ventilated, hidden, one even bitten to make sure that it's really shit.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №121422
 04.12.2015
Congratulations, I am dead now!
Not “mortem”, but “mortem”, literature.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121421
 04.12.2015
Anon: living in the Russian depth is difficult to distinguish the fall from the real world
Anonymous: IRL does not accept covers (
Bottles are accepted.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №121420
 04.12.2015
The quote:
From the user: Carrera

Author by carrerat (LS)
Date: 04 December 2015 00:14
250 km/h in the snow? It is real!
I went to the car today and checked the machine. scary, of course, on the lipe + zp + two-sided, but somehow crossed through itself. mainly driven by the meeting, or overtaken by 5 cars at a time, the teasers slowly go.
The 550i E60.

The quote:
By the user: Alexander K.

Then you woke up. On the way to school, with a heavy wallet hanging on his back, he rejoiced in the snowfall. By making sounds in his mouth, remotely reminiscent of the crash of the 550i bmw engine, he began to beat his legs with all his strength. Here is it: snow flies in all directions, light slopes. Only good preparation prevented the fall. But after a couple of accelerations quickly exhaled, it was still necessary to turn on the ESP. The pedestrians! 5 of now! disconnection of the spacecraft, lightning movement with the right hand (from which the package with the shift flew off the cades), switching down to 2 transmission, non-human rick - and the teasers of the pedestrians far behind.
The first lesson was missed.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №121419
 04.12.2015
Cai Wenji: How well it was to live before! in the pre-industrial period. Their parents married whom they would have to - and for the rest of their lives. You cannot get divorced, you cannot escape, you cannot complain about beating anyone, and you can’t get enough time – because you have to smell in the field from morning to evening. I’ve lived to forty – well, life has gone well! Three out of ten children have survived reproductive age – success! There’s something to eat today, wow! And now all the suffering. There is no love, the love has cooled, the husband has gone, the wife has shattered, the child wants something and the sponges are rotting... The list of misfortunes is endless. No, it was better before.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121418
 04.12.2015
Yesterday picked up my wife from work, we roll and stand in the traffic jams, I notice that there is a familiar smell in the car. Yes, the car smelled like my brother’s Type-R. Immediately filled with pleasant memories of childhood, a little upset about the fact that in 10 years that car quite shaken life. And I, without any back-thinking, decided to make a compliment to my wife: "You have perfumes as delicious as my brother's refresher in Honda was," I say thoughtfully.
I still don’t know why I got my backpack.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №121417
 04.12.2015
by Viktor2004:
It was a lie in the USSR. On the outlet is written 220V 6A. That 220V is true, but when I tried to measure how many amps there, my father's tester exploded, and it then cost forty rubles. I got Lulu then specifically.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №121416
 04.12.2015
Once upon a time, a SOBR capture group came to a barrier in the apartment. The door is metal, massive. He is locked there. They started this door with the Bulgarians, they look, and the cuts are tightened from the back. So this bargain turned on the welding machine and let the door be welded. The Sobrovs were of course shocked by such a greed, but ultimately guessed to cut off the light.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121415
 04.12.2015
to this:
All BMW owners are fools.
yyy: I have a friend, he is a fool, but on the focus. How to? Buying a BMW?

One lot can easily include another: from the fact that all BMW owners are fools, it is not necessarily going back. So your acquaintance can calmly remain a fool in focus.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №121414
 04.12.2015
"Specialist in Health ".
If a cockroach threatens your health, kill it.
If a crown takes food from you or your child, kill it.
If Hitler attacked you, kill him.
But, if you do not know how to do it and you compete in sophisticated ways of executing cockroaches, shoot for the sake of entertaining crows, accuse, judge and execute sentences, guided not by security considerations, but by a sense of revenge or by one of the criteria of usefulness / harm you understand - you are banal killer maniacs, regardless of whether we are talking about people or cockroaches.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121413
 04.12.2015
Shuricjmuric: it turns out that a deaf jaguar will never attack a human

Apteko: These clever creatures can read on their lips.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121412
 04.12.2015
My cat's father has long been taught to show nails, so after clashes with the cat, the sister walks with bleaches.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121411
 04.12.2015
A sleepy night with a newborn daughter. I convinced her to sleep only at 4 p.m. My husband in the morning:
How are you after such a night?
I learned a lot about myself, dear. For example, that I could with a tender and quiet voice persuade my beloved daughter to fall asleep, but honestly, my thoughts at that moment would be applauded by any sadistic killer standing.

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