bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №42722
 04.02.2011
- Come today to the universe, we will help you make a digital cursor. I’m going to help San, especially today. What topic do you have a course?
Yes, I remember what it was!
Well, he has the same.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №42721
 04.02.2011
I have seen all sorts of inscriptions on the walls and fences, but the Kaspersky emblem in the elevator...

[ + 58 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42720
 04.02.2011
Introduction to the Theory of Cocktails:
A peasant came to the king and asked, "King, let me take one apple from your garden." The king allowed. The peasant went to the garden and saw: the whole garden is flanked by a triple fence, in each fence there is only one gate, and at each gate there is a guard. When the farmer passed by the first guard, he said to him, "Take the apples, but when you go out, give me half the apples that you will have, and one more." The same said to him the other guards who guarded the gate. How many apples does a farmer have to take in order to bring home one apple after giving the portions to the three guards?

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №42719
 04.02.2011
We have a new boss. Conducting mass inventory
Drush for every ruble, and here someone is drilling with a Bulgarian
xxxh: and to hide the traces, we took the fan and disassembled it and put it in a box and signed a Bulgarian, and where the drill threw a magnet from the columns and a pair of plates.
XHHH: and wrote the reason for the breakdown burned the engine
XHH: Wait for the chase to show her the tool)

[ + 53 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42718
 04.02.2011
I’m from the times when mp3s were downloaded through FlashGet and watched running squares.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №42717
 04.02.2011
At night, everyone is sleeping in the room. I sit in the computer, I hear the mouse clicks, I think like everyone is sleeping, I see a friend holding the mouse in his hands, he leads her on the carpet and something fiercely presses, I look at his system, he is off, I look at him he is really sleeping.

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №42716
 04.02.2011
monster (17:48:42 3/02/2011)
I look at the judgment on the first.)

This shit got me into the food!
What am I, a charity? Drugs are worth money.

The Iron Argument)

[ + 71 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42715
 04.02.2011
The night. I woke up with the cat knocking at the door. I am listening. I hear him whispering at the door and whispering so evil I mean I was already scared (because on the eve I looked at horrors) I steal in the dark on the plinths and I hear on the staircase cell a long but powerful... Such a direct wolf. The cat whispers, I am green. The first thought, "Return!"" Remembered all the prayers, then apparently the brain turned on, I think, probably the dog somehow wonderfully confused (which is strange to us the homephone, the concierge, the guard) I think the cat will not react like this if it is not a dog. The same is scary. And again "UUUUUUUUUUUUU". Plunged into the network found the number of catching dogs - well, he knows what there is for a cow. After the war, there was a feeling that there was a cock, not a dog. Shortly after 4 p.m. I hear that they came for the dog (the war will continue before that)... and I hear a wild laugh. It turns out right a little to the left of my door was sitting some idiot of 17 years and quietly so long voiced. I look (fearfully), the guys laugh and say - already the third one for today... Sigmund then barely left, the cat was terrified very much.

[ + 278 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42714
 04.02.2011
Do you know what our children will be taught in schools?
Compulsory subjects: Physical Education and "Russia in the World".
It is logical, shit! Grow up healthy and strong, observe the safety techniques during the maintenance of gas and oil pipes and KNOW YOUR PLACE IN THIS WORLD!!! to

You can’t get up in the top. Pray to. It will touch everyone anyway.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №42713
 04.02.2011
We walked with the kids, we talked about who we wanted to be. The nephew remained silent for a long time, thought, and then pleased said:
When I grow up, I will have sex.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №42712
 04.02.2011
Thanks for the cakes!
The way to the girl's pants lies through the cake :)
Belka: O_o
Ohhhh my heart! The Heart (Blin)

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №42711
 04.02.2011
I am the coolest in my class!
YYY : Why?
I have the most friends in contact!
YYY: And how much?
XXX is 1246!
YYY: Oh you are...
XXX: What is cool?
YYYY: No... Growthësh - you have to remove...

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №42710
 04.02.2011
I bought a nail yesterday.
I came and said, “Give me a nail.” Seller: What are you? I want to be killed in the wall. Seller: How long are you at least? I: Well... not so long... so that the neighbor’s wall doesn’t break. Seller: How much do you have? I: I am the 4th seller: 4 kg? What do they mean by kilograms? I need four nails.
xxx: the seller sadly looked at me and gave me 4 nails for free)

[ + 91 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42709
 04.02.2011
van der BolT: Found on a Japanese website, there was a webcam looking at Mount Fuji. But the camera for some reason showed nothing, the square of Malevich was something. I think under my browser does not work, installed another, third, updated flash player ten times, reinstalled codecs, tried everything, and here I notice on the site time - 2:45. They have a night there, fucking!!!! to

[ + 71 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42708
 04.02.2011
Dialogue with a friend:
Memory should be developed, not muscles.
Q: when we go for a walk and they attack us
I say stand.
My memory is like iron.
I will read them all in memory.
They will be in the oak.
D is XD

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №42707
 04.02.2011
All conflicts due to lack of communication.
And I think all the conflicts are because one country wants oil and the other wants Arabs.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №42706
 04.02.2011
Question on the diary: Somewhere the information was once blurred that Andrei Gubin is underground rubbing metal. Do these rumors have any basis?

In the comments: It is more likely that the de-metal is somewhere underground rubbing Andrew Rubin.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №42705
 04.02.2011
From the news: "Priton with prostitutes in a rental apartment closed after a “control purchase”"

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №42704
 04.02.2011
Today was different.
Pash: What is it?
It was poured into a musli bowl. In the same box the chips stood.
To tell further? is right! She poured chips with milk and went to the compot.
Pash is a trick :)
My advice to you: don’t repeat – it’s not delicious.)
You won’t believe... I know :(
Tagged with: o_o

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42703
 04.02.2011
The Sunday. We eat breakfast in the kitchen with the whole family. Background TV is working. Some kind of program "Health". And here Elena Malysheva issues: "And now we will again talk about banal infections characteristic of this time of year". I was overwhelmed, and then captured by the amazed eyes of the whole family, I thought for a long time why my brain perceives information in the ear somehow differently.

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