bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111679
 04.04.2015
What if I put the Ring of Almighty on a member?

He will disappear.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111678
 04.04.2015
to there:

In general, the classic classification is:
Girls before puberty
Before the first sexual act
The woman is everyone else.

--------

Have you read dictionaries? Who invented this stupid classification? I quote Ozhegova:

andquot;
The girl:

1st The face of the female sex at the age of transition from adolescence to youth. Boys and girls.

2nd A person who has reached sexual maturity but has not yet entered into marriage.

Three A young maid, a maid in a bar house.) is

and 4. Appeal to a Young Woman (Rasp.and "

No references to virginity and other nonsense.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111677
 04.04.2015
The son grew up... At the end of the New Year’s Morning, Santa asked the hall playfully: “What do people love the most?”" All the children shouted “Presents!”", and Oleg – “Money!”" and “Power!”".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111676
 04.04.2015
xxx: the dating site suddenly sent a spam "Hello, Imerek Batkovich! "Johnny, 31" with %sitename% wants to meet".
xxx: Interestingly, it’s nothing that eight years ago on this same site I met "Anna, 24" and the outcome of dating will soon go to school?
No, guys, you won’t put me in this shit a second time.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111675
 04.04.2015
<ibh> our office is engaged in import substitution
<ibh> replaces European imports by Chinese

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111674
 04.04.2015
The 21st century is in the courtyard, and the billboards from the books are still without losses.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111673
 04.04.2015
I thought I knew my husband as an outcast after 22 years of living together, three children and a mortgage. But yesterday he surprised me. The daughter stumbled into the school, which will bring a splintered rubber sova. Starting at night, it doesn’t work. My daughter in tears. The husband regretted and spelled this frog on video instructions from the internet!
And before this, when the husband sought instructions for the daughter, it was quite predictable: "When the cat had nothing to do, he... licked, "what only the gentlemen do not pair up with people," "that it is a whole industry of such a stupid occupation."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111672
 04.04.2015
The children pulled out the veranda, like a flock of elephants - and they were only three! I opened the veranda today. I put a note on the door to understand. The first was a pediatrician, calling the daughter in the morning. At first I didn’t understand why she looked at me that way. When I went, it finally came...
Q: Can the content of the note?
XXXX: "Rise up where you stand! In this way you will preserve my purity and your life.
UUU: And in the evening, the pediatrician at some pediatric forum will post a photo of your ad and comment: well, what patients have come to! They would just ask, I would break up, I and the Bachiles were with us, why threats! :D


[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111671
 04.04.2015
And nothing that the "bowl" is exactly the same mark of unmarriedness as the "girl", so that a lady who is offended by an insulting recording in the old-fashioned, is just as offended by the "bowl". Furthermore, the "barrel" is formed from the "barrel" and, accordingly, the "barrel" - which in the country after eighty years of chronic socialism sounds wild.

I call all the strangers on the street or there in the rows "sorry, please". Adolescents, indeed, sometimes chick over what is about them at "You", but it’s not scary.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111670
 04.04.2015
Forums for U.S. Visa:
Q: When working in the Ministry of Culture of the Russian Federation, Occupation to choose OTHER and write for example CULTURE?
A : Yes. Or KHUYACHECHNAYA. Sorry, I did not hold up.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111669
 04.04.2015
xxx: Pavel, close access to the record in the folder \\Server\Managers\Corporate 2015
Okay, and if not a secret, why? and :)
XX: Yes, they’re photoshopping each other’s photos all day long. The idiots, the mill...

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111668
 04.04.2015
We had one time called, just like in the movie, Aunt Sonya from Odessa and asked her nephew Marina. I replied that she wasn’t here, she was upset, I said that she was wrong, I was mocked, I said that she was waking up the children, she said that I was a whore, that we lived with Marina in a rental apartment and I should call her. I didn’t argue with Aunt Sonja, because she had an incredibly Odessa speech, such as not to play! Listening and enjoying culture.
I have to say that the difference between Tyumen and Odessa is 3 hours, that is, if she called Odessa at 19:00, we had nine evenings. Most of the time she was calling at midnight.
One day, the husband decided to get involved with this topic and took the phone. He said he was a cohabitant of Marina. She is pregnant with him. Aunt Sonja whispered, shrugged her arms and said that in the morning she was flying, it seems, to Nizhnevartovsk (this is what she confused us with!). I don’t know if Marina managed to convince Aunt Sonja that she wasn’t pregnant (although who knows!Only the calls stopped.
If I’m honest, I’m a bit upset about it. :oops:

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111667
 04.04.2015
In school, a physics teacher often said that the correct drawing is already at least half the solution. During his lifetime he has repeatedly been convinced of the correctness of this statement even for areas very far from school physics or geometry.
Well, I’ve already drawn my ass on a piece of paper. What to do next?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №111666
 04.04.2015
by Pussy_ca_at

60% water is a new diet drink. <...> Easy to drink, promotes appetite and good mood. It disturbs consciousness. Composition: water - 60%, preservative (ethyl alcohol) - 40%

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111665
 04.04.2015
Posts in VK
xxx: guys, does anyone have a phone on Android free, I should go for 2-3 days to pursue one app? Anything will suit the new, the better of course, but in principle no difference. I have beer or biscuits.
Yyy: What a thin hop today

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111664
 04.04.2015
Technical support of the provider:
- Hi, such a question, I have the money on the account ended, in the personal office status is "off for non-payment", and the internet is there. Tell me, how long will it be?
and yes. Do you have a router?
and yes.
Always on?
and yes.
- Hmm... You know, we usually only have a few days internet without paying works, but you can do it for a month. Please turn off the router.
Thank you, okay, I will do a good job.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111663
 04.04.2015
What if I put the Ring of Almighty on a member?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111662
 04.04.2015
In school, I asked the priest if he had seen his god. One day he couldn’t stand it, grabbed my ear and cried out, “You, the bastard, have you ever pulled out my ass?” - "neet!" - I said - "H, it is!" This is where my theological education ended." (V. Catherine "The Holy Place")

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111661
 04.04.2015
For lovers of Langley:

Russian is not an ordinary language. And Azzky is complex, with absolutely puzzling illogical grammar with a bunch of incomprehensible exceptions. Prices, suffixes, endings, slopes and slopes are designed to distort the word so that its meaning becomes dark and incomprehensible.

Oh, batenka... I try now Russian-language I study Georgian, so against the backdrop of their afterlogs instead of excuses, growing into a word and eliminating falling endings, plugs that stick to each verb in several pieces - the verbs of movement, for example, depend on the direction to the speaker/from him, up or down and a bunch of factors, subjective and objective indicators ("I love you" and "I love him" - different verbs), versions, contact, some temporary forms and other things, which in the Russian language and near there is no, and also the fact that when squeezed from the roots will remain in the best case there are a couple of letters, which still try to dig in this accumulation (in the worst - the root of the verb in the past and
And the Georgians do nothing, smile and say that the Cartwell language is very simple and in many ways similar to Russian. Yes is.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111660
 04.04.2015
Tagged 16954
— — — —
Inappropriate resumes should not be deleted. They need to be answered "Hi, you are not suitable for us." Using the auto-response function, for example.
And as long as you remove them silently -- so you need to.

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