bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №29567
 04.05.2010
to this:
— — — —
to this:
So it became interesting: only in Russia people buy single-use shaving machines and shave them for six months?? to

Guy, you won't believe, in Uzbekistan too, we cut one-time machinery for six months))))

— — — —
Are they single?

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №29566
 04.05.2010
Translation of paragraph. The man was called a bad English word, which is correctly and properly translated into a bad Russian word. The trouble is that it needs to be softened to insignificant, and I have already shrunk. I opened a synonym dictionary.
The father comes in, looks through his shoulder, sees the synonyms of the words MUDAK in my entire screen and sympathetically says, “Dostali, daughter?”

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №29565
 04.05.2010
We slept with friends, met with girls.
We sit and talk, and then one of the girls takes her hand and leads her out of the supermarket (we sat close to it). I don’t know, but here are the words:
-We go with her for the pen, we go for the ATB, instead we look for it, well, in principle, what is there and how, I am all waiting, I erect a little, here she asks "Look at people?" - I - "net"! She - "Open - I will write..."

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №29564
 04.05.2010
We sit with a friend, she only breastfed a baby (1 year 3 months.He lies next to him and tells something in his tarabarsk.
Well, I decide I mean to drink a cup of tea, about which I cheer and inform. The child abruptly stops talking, sits down and begins to look interested at me, then at her...then chokes and looks at me, strikes a friend's T-shirt and says absolutely clearly and clearly - NO!!! to

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29563
 04.05.2010
thy(22:30) :
x )
How to record on the microphone? I recorded and no sound x)

Wife(22:37) :
He speaks louder and writes very quietly. Check the microphone connection.
Wife(22:38) :
Do you have a Realtek HD driver?

thy(22:38) :
OOO"

Wishes (22:39) :
O_O" yes, we include the method "for-nuba"
The microphone connected?

thy(22:39) :
I don’t have it 8)

Wife(22:40) :
O_O"
Who am I sitting for??? What are you recording? O_O

thy(22:40) :
I just talk to the X monitor.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №29562
 04.05.2010
M: Don’t joke like that without a clump, or I start to believe and dumb (

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №29561
 04.05.2010
to this:
Russian internet users have disrupted the German airline Lufthansa’s competition for an unofficial name for the Airbus A380 family of aircraft. During the Internet voting, the Russian Marina Karyakina proposed the "Stalingrad" option, and to the shock of the Germans he came into the leaders with the support of more than 6000 votes. The airline refused to name the aircraft, citing the fact that it would like a cute name that could please children.
____________________________
I saved a screenshot from this site, where the word "Zalupa" took 3 rows.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №29560
 04.05.2010
HHH: What is it, everything is not so...
Is there a lack of defects?

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №29559
 04.05.2010
So let’s go to Trapani ?
She: You are what? I’m not before the wedding. and :)
I mean, am I impotent? We get married and then a surprise.
She: Fact... Fuck, you’ve now turned my whole worldview from foot to head. Piped...

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №29558
 04.05.2010
Damn, I can't understand everything - but what did the cops pick up before the appearance of mobile phones?
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

Hi my little brother. I see, I see that you are interested - so sit down more comfortably, now I will tell you how it was.In the past life was not as saturated with gadgets as it is now.
Long before these terrible times, the hoppies took off the bills and arithmometers "Felix", with the words "we are here tomorrow at this same time, I will give you everything". From these hopes grew those who raised the economy of Russia.Desperate clusters of minors and angry Spaniards committed raids on sandstores. After that, they took home the prey - plastic soldiers and pistols with pistols or suckers. This was how our future army was formed.Especially insidious copters took Rubik's cubes, and after unsuccessful casting fell into a coma - so our architects grew up.There were those who did not hate calculators "Electronics"."Hear, boy, count it?".They are now engaged in business and commerce.The milk and iris bites were selected by those who now call themselves thieves in the law. Sometimes they can be seen in some administration. Look closer at their faces – among them are those who once took from your father the twenty-penny coin, released to him for a plumbing, or even a full-weight, metal ruble – a real treasure at that time.

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №29557
 04.05.2010
mikami: and in general it is their "do not ride with blue cockroaches"like "do not choose niches and avatars, similar to admin and moderator".

[ + 106 - ] Comment quote №29556
 04.05.2010
to this:
Fuck, I am the hero of an anecdote... asked from work on the date of our first meeting, came earlier, and there she, he and the cat locked in the bathroom!!!!!! to
— — — —
Closed the cat in the bathroom. They are fools!!! to

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №29555
 04.05.2010
here here :
to this

Today I go from work, and my black cat crossed the road, and then immediately in the opposite direction. I think she cancelled her decision or doubled the alleged trouble?
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
Here you have to find out what. Scalar cat or vector. If vector, then all the norm, but if scalar...
___________________________________
The Law of Universal Ugliness states that any trouble is capable of self-doubling without external interference or tripling with interference.

[ + 73 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29554
 04.05.2010
I am looking for a girl who loves the chocolate half of Maximon, not a biscuit.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №29553
 04.05.2010
I miss you without you...
XXX: You are so cute! Without you it’s somewhat grey and boring.
XXX: Dinner prepared, and what do you have?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY A hundred thousand. It hurts, but the eggs are gone!

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №29552
 04.05.2010
to this:

One of the signs that you are in love is when you look a girl in the eyes and you have an erection.
_____________________________________________

This is one of the signs of spermatozoa.

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №29551
 04.05.2010
1: Use signs of interruption

2: Use condoms and no signs of interruption

Better your parents use them.


[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №29550
 04.05.2010
I went to the kitchen to see the temperature. I had a thermometer there and it was cleaned.
You will grow up...
How many degrees?
The blue...

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №29549
 04.05.2010
Interestingly, and the employees of which special services write here UG, that we need to organize a revolution in Russia? Revolution is decay, destruction, civil war! And by the way, the lack of the internet and the prospect of eating your cat.
Start changing yourself and your surroundings. and whisper that they disappear.

[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №29548
 04.05.2010
What is the difference between Linux and Linux? Linux is better than acoustics. So you put the program in the wheel, said satisfied: "Fuck it!" – and that’s all. And in Linux: put a proga, said "Fuck it!", and to you in response echo: "Fuck it"...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna