bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №100071
 04.07.2014
xxx: Yesterday I returned home at midnight, as we went to a bar with friends.
XXX: My wife knew it. I let go.
At home, I found my wife asleep.
Silently, without lighting on, lay down in bed, and today...
I woke up in my bed...
YYY: I did not understand. and what?
With a brunette!!! to
YYY: Are you pulling someone?
XXX is no. I turned around and only she and I were in bed. I decided to look carefully at my face. Go through her...
XXX is a dog!! My hair was beautiful that day!! to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №100070
 04.07.2014
"...If the result is the same, why pay more?"

___________________________________
It works everywhere: in the year edak in 2000, we were engaged in sporting ball dances in one inexpensive club. At that time, the monthly fee for three-time weekly classes was about 200 rubles. An individual class with a coach cost about 300-600 rubles. with international level trainers – about $20 per hour. We were limited to monthly pay and danced according to our abilities. Another couple from the club spent a lot of money on individual training almost every day. In the championship we divided by points 9-10 place. We were pleased, they were very thoughtful in thinking about their costs.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №100069
 04.07.2014
Heinrich Himmler: Tell me! What do you do if you are a watcher?
ALFY2J: From anyone, but from you, Henry, I did not expect

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №100068
 04.07.2014
she was finishing laying things in the closet came a friend and with the words: "we are not so accepted", began to pull out all the things back
and...
The citizens!! to
The gathering!(And the sisters)
What happened to the previously humorous resource!? Not only that the moral wickedness has been pulled up so much, and it has begun to shrink...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №100067
 04.07.2014
Mizulina called the Apple iPhone a device that is used to carry out evil actions against children.
I knew, I knew it.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №100066
 04.07.2014
Particularly good policemen in Amsterdam, in the Red Light District. They are very friendly and do not seem to be behind tourists in terms of coffee shops.
Yyy: And if you drink beer on the street, you will be fined by a smoked policeman :)))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100065
 04.07.2014
If you slept with your wife’s sister, the spouse will never know about it...unless they argue.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №100064
 04.07.2014
Call center, we accept ads in the newspaper. There is a badly hearing bubble, in which in the background somewhere there is a bad voice TV, there is a dialogue:
Call the phone number...
A to?! to
Name the phone number that you will indicate in your advertisement.
What is?! to
Keep the TV quiet, please.
Grandmother walks into someone’s room:
I watch the TV and I can’t hear it!!!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №100063
 04.07.2014
A friend arranged a sysadmin in a kindergarten. And it is there just not exploited, and the furniture is dragging, and the fence is painted, in general, a multi-story))))

Nude (12:43:21 3/07/2014)
Hi to you! How are your business? How in the garden?

Daniel (12:44:57 3/07/2014)
Hi to you! It is great, thank you! I bought a shell in a trimmer, I will go to cut them the grass, like a real admin)))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №100062
 04.07.2014
You have a sense of female logic. It is logical to paint your nails first, and then ask your husband to wash your dishes, because you can’t wash your dishes with painted nails 😉

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №100061
 04.07.2014
(We discuss the opening of our business)
WOW: Why do these entrepreneurial development funds just need supervision?
Probably in order to ensure the minimum rate and all...

XXX: This is what we need.

I generally have an impression:
I need money to start a business!
Bank: You are unreliable. You do not work in the market for more than 6 months, you do not have a mortgage property, and you are generally a dwarf. Go to shit!
In a year or two.
Bank - newOOO: you are doing business! The turnarounds are growing! Take a loan!
I’ll do it myself, go to the ass!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №100060
 04.07.2014
In the villages of Ukraine may appear old men

In the woods the partisans

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №100059
 04.07.2014
Fuck, you’re so delicious with Linux that I wanted to put it myself.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №100058
 04.07.2014
xxx: I think we have a great family: a psychiatrist and a programmer!
YYY: Oh, and there is also a lifeblood: the one and the other.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №100057
 04.07.2014
Running on the rabbits: Intelligence like the bread in these girls %)
Don’t offend the bread :(

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №100056
 04.07.2014
I don’t understand those cruises. I was in one and I got enough. What else can I do besides bushing??? What if you don’t want to drink? From boredom, I began to help the crew to pick up the cranes and drives: fill the pans, change the pads. On the question of the representative of the tour.firme, which I am doing this, I replied: "Nuddy!"
When working on a sea platform, there is no time to miss there.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №100055
 04.07.2014
I often notice that you don’t close a bottle of cola.
I just don’t like when it’s too gasy.
You don’t like toothpaste too.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №100054
 04.07.2014
The morning. The route can not long bypass the car in front of you. The driver expresses his emotions in Russian.

Passenger, echoing: Do you know that the State Duma has prohibited such expressions?
The driver, without a pause: Yeah you, citizen, the whites hugged?! to
The passenger hurried: Let me joke, man. We will not betray!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №100053
 04.07.2014
As the saying goes, we are not rich enough to buy cheap things. For example, winter boots - 8,000. only they serve for 3 years in them warm, do not wet the legs. Cheap shoes break down in a month, it is cold and damp.
— — —
Don’t confuse quality with potatoes. I bought winter shoes in the Lente for 400 rubles, I don't know why. I wore it for two years in the city, another two years - I went to work on construction, and they, fucking, are still alive, only the ropes had to change, I will continue to wear. Morality is not all good is expensive, and not all expensive is good.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №100052
 04.07.2014
I’m scared of speed too. In the car I automatically start to "press" on the brake)))) instinctively))). And taxi drivers ask if I am driving myself, because this is what drivers usually do.
WOW: they don’t know that you’re not looking for a brake pedal, but you’re trying to slow your feet on the asphalt :D


The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna