bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №151557
 05.01.2019
The fact that at the age of 32 I am still not married only means that statistically I avoided my first divorce.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №151556
 05.01.2019
xxx: D94НН03 C006Щ3НN3 P0К4ЗЫ8437, K4КN3 U9N8N73ЛЬНЫ3 83ЩN M0Ж37 93Л47Ь Н4Ш Р4ЗУМ! 8P3P4P3P3P3P3P3P3P3P3P3P3P SN4H4L4 E70 6YLL0 7RU9N0, N0 S3YCH4S N4 E70Y S7R0K3 84S R4ZUM ČN7437 E70 4870M47NCH3SKN, N3 Z49Umy84YAS 06 E70M. by G0R9N. LNCH 0PR393L3NNY3 LU9N M0GU7 PR0CHN747E70.

YYY: I have the wind activated, thank you!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №151555
 05.01.2019
I have a friend who I know, and I call him Miko. A man of extraordinary politeness, will always move the chair to the girl, open the door, pass forward... a gentleman, shorter.

This story happened to him two years ago on December 24 (his second birthday). It was an ordinary morning and Miha came out of the apartment, called the elevator, there was a woman 50-55 years old in the elevator, he kissed her and they began to descend to the first floor, when they came out of the entrance, Miha, like a real gentleman, opened the door and missed her forward. The woman took two steps and she got a powerful puddle on her head.

P. S. Miha called an ambulance, the woman got rid of a shock.

Be a gentleman

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №151554
 05.01.2019
Every year I remember Serena. I had such a friend. Probably the saddest phrase in the world – I had a friend. was was. He and his parents lived in the apartment near the entrance, just across the wall from us. We have often heard what his father puts in order. He struck and chased the whole family, beat his wife and beat his son. And Seregha’s mother also loved drinking and drinking.



He spent most of his time out of the house and when he went to school, in addition to a backpack with textbooks and notebooks, he always took with him a football ball that his grandfather gave him before he died. After the lessons, we played football, and when people became smaller, we switched to "banana" or "square", and so on - until late in the evening. As a result, Seroga always remained alone and tapped the ball until his mother from the balcony called him home. It happened even in winter. One day after dinner, before I went to bed, I looked out the window: it was dark, there was snow, white and white, the lamp lit the helmet in the yard, and underneath it Seroga filled the "hundred".



When we were twelve, with the permission of my parents, I invited him to celebrate the New Year at my home. On the eve, my dad gave me money for a new ball for Sergio, because his old one was completely worn out. He looked around him, turned his hands and said only “Thank you.” At this time, behind the wall of his ancestors worshipped in the company of the same drunken women, and from there, and the matter was communicated maternal rhetoric. Furthermore, Sergey was red because he did not prepare any gifts himself. But by midnight it bloomed, because we went to the city tree, ride the hills, run the labyrinths and fireworks. On the way back, Sereg said it was the best New Year in his life and he will never forget it.



Since then he has been home often. My parents did not object and were even "for" because Sergio studied well and helped me with the lessons. In the rest of the time, we crashed into the Fifa on the console or chased the ball in the courtyard. Sometimes, usually on the day of important football broadcasts, he stayed with us overnight, and my mother supplied us with all sorts of chips and allowed us to watch the television until late. It was possible to turn off the sound, because Seroga and without a commentator knew by the names of all the players and coaches.



To the general surprise, after school he did not go to the sports academy, but submitted documents to the economic institute. In another city. He only told me when he needed to get to the station. Fuck, we, my father and I, took him there, not his own parents, and he promised to call, but from the moment of leaving he did not respond to the letters and did not make himself known. Later, I managed to find him on social networks, but he ignored my messages, and then even joked. I pledged to myself that at the next meeting I would definitely smash him in the teeth, at least in a plum. My father told me not to think badly about friends, and only since then I have had only two words about Serogue – “ungrateful clutter.”



I’m glad he wasn’t here at that time. Even when his father drank to death, and the elderly mother cried in the empty apartment, Seroga did not announce, in order to at least brag about the inheritance. Then for me everything just started to clarify, and a couple of years ago, when I came to visit my parents for the New Year, just like a long time ago, I looked through the window of my former room to the street and understood everything. It was night and a large snow fell, and the old lamp still lit our courtyard. At that moment I felt like a lonely boy. Everyone is sitting in warm, cozy apartments and preparing for the holiday, and this ball is filling up on the street. He is not training or preparing for a career as a professional athlete. He doesn’t need it, he doesn’t need anything: no football, no new ball, no friends. He just doesn’t want to go home. He dreams of growing up, leaving and forgetting everything. Everything, both good and bad. Now he finally broke out, and thank God.



Maybe I just invented it, maybe I’m just trying to justify a friend. Yes, a friend is the best in childhood, the worst now, but still a friend. Anyway, every New Year I recall it and wait for a call, because even the old comrades who have almost forgotten themselves come together once or twice a year. Congratulations on the holidays, wishes health, do business. They have not communicated for a long time, but at one point they are so happy to hear each other again, talk, learn what and how. Just like before, in my youth. As if the friendship had not ended. They have nothing in common except memories. At least one, about the best New Year in life. Yes, Sergey, yes, I will never forget him either. The good is not forgotten. Happy New Year, friends, with new happiness!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №151553
 05.01.2019
In old age we are getting slower and life is getting faster.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №151552
 05.01.2019
It was long ago. I have a girl I know (let’s call her Oksana), who at the age of 15 had an angina. Angina complicated the ligaments.

A rough, drunken and smoked male voice from the mouths of a girl with an angelish appearance seriously complicated Khushina's personal life. For a long time, the school and the institute were left behind, the working days went by, and the prince on the white horse was not. Well, what a prince, Oksana was already slowly, but correctly approached the line "let drink, smoke, scary, but at least a set of limbs in the set."

The guys at least lost in the first conversation with her. Some, when trying to get acquainted on the street rounded their eyes of horror and urgently withdrew. But if the acquaintance lasted more than one evening, then the slim figure, beautiful face and excellent sense of humor outweighed the sensations of talking to the old bosman. And when it came to sex, another (submarine stone) rock mass popped up.

Oksana stood during sex and sooner or later started screaming. I could not hold it back. And when the gentle female body in your arms begins to scream with the voice of Gigurda, then 90% of the men instantly lost all sexual attraction and no longer communicated with Xusha. The remaining 10% were usually too drunk to understand anything, but the next time in a more condemned state joined the majority.
And Khushka wanted a normal family, children and, what to hide, regular sex. Closing the mouth with a palm, a pillow compressed with teeth, and even a clap purchased in a sex shop - the situation was not corrected. Years went by, Oksane was already thirty - a successful career, a large apartment, a expensive SUV and a favorite basset hound did not bring her complete happiness. From despair she began to look more and more at the bottom of the red dry bottle.

I don’t know how it would end if it wasn’t a lucky coincidence. Oksana met her happiness at the service, where she served the car. Artem worked as an auto mechanic, was shouldered and strained, but from birth he was hearing impaired. Even with hearing aids, he asked the interlocutor to speak louder, and he needed to see people’s lips to fully understand what it was about.

The couple now has three children, and in mid-January they will celebrate their 20th anniversary of marriage.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №151551
 05.01.2019
I sell a tree. urgently!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna