Sofas and Germans
As an epigraph, a replica of a resident of Bavaria.
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“And I also met in Ukraine “Bavarian” bread. It is delicious. With nuts and grey nuts. We don’t have such a niche in Bavaria.” (End of the Quote)
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At the dawn of the restructuring, when after the “big bang” there was still nothing, but there was only faith in a bright tomorrow, we bought a Dresden sofa. There their whole series was - sofas from Urupinsk with German names. Cologne, I remember Berlin, there’s something else. We looked at Dresden.
I do not know why the marketers of the furniture factory decided to give their products the names of precisely German cities, in retaliation for the occupation in the years of war, but the fact remains a fact - more terrible and inhumane products of the furniture industry I have not met before or after.
To dismantle the couch into a sleeping state, it took six healthy, sober, non-old and stupid men. I do not shrink. If, for example, there were five men, and the role of the sixth person was played by a woman, then the couch could get upset and stumble anyone. Or shoot with a sprint. In short, a miracle, not furniture.
We bought it as a guest. Guests in those years went a lot, who eat, who, on the contrary, drink, who just so. Moscow is a transit city. Guests also need to sleep. So here. With all its disadvantages, the sofa had one undeniable positive property. Those who once stayed there never visited us again.
Once a friend from Germany brought us two Germans on the stand. For what purpose these Germans came to us, I don’t remember, they just had to stop somewhere. But in the conversation it turned out that the Germans were not from anywhere, but from Dresden.
When we joyfully told them the name of the couch on which they slept, the Germans cried and vowed that it was not true.
And we never saw them again.