bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №97467
 05.05.2014
Shop, aquarium with live carps. In front of me is a lady of the age, but with a claim on the lady:
Are the carpets fresh?
The dealer, keeping the poker face: They are alive!
D: I mean, are they not old?
P is This is my grandfather, but he is so shy!
The lady asked to weigh her granddaughter.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97466
 05.05.2014
There were no psychologists at school before. Psychologists were at the same time: a classy leader, a soundtrack, a director. In rare cases, the area.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97465
 05.05.2014
I don’t understand people who download TSs in HD. What do they hope?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97464
 05.05.2014
Is there nothing good in the cars?
The names of the flowers are not bad.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №97463
 05.05.2014
How to slow down to 190 - don't drive that way. Well think you at least hypothetically, everyone knows that the situation is described is not OK. Lovers go back to the past.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
A few years ago, a smart man, too, at the speed of 190 in the city center, thought about how to slow down. as a result, the car that stood last in the traffic jams in front of the lighting - twisted, 2 bodies.
And the acquaintances of this half-idiot were very upset that this story ruined his career.

What am I clinging to?
lovers pursue on 190 - meet, please wall of concrete on your way!
Do not ask questions.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97462
 05.05.2014

And Americans all advertising of hygiene products is published only in special medical journals, and on TV I don't even know when you can show it, maybe on a public channel, at night. They are Americans! The wild people!

In Americans, doctors regularly consult with teenagers, explaining them in detail - what and where. They are wild.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97461
 05.05.2014
Packing the zimpyu rubber in storage bags, I thought that they are winter wires))) and you are all a butterfly, chubby...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97460
 05.05.2014
Alexey: I look at "Machete" and I go to bed
Tatiana: It’s before sleep
Yes, I’ll dream of pink pony ?
Tatiana: Running with rabbin juice
Alexey: And shooting each other from caramel shells with multi-colored M&Ms.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №97459
 05.05.2014
I: Will you catch my wife on the road?
Friend: I’ll catch it, just throw her phone at me, or I don’t have it.
I: That’s why you don’t have my wife’s phone? I have yours.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №97458
 05.05.2014
and naive:
------------
I watched another masterpiece today. There is such a brutal uncle: the head is smoothly shaved, a 2-week scarf on the beard, a skinned skin, a thick chain on the gridi and a rocker t-shirt. With a woman’s bag in hand. Next to him was his girlfriend and apparently her bag. But why?! Why do you take your girlfriend’s bags???? to
------------
Not to run away! Where is she without her suitcase?

K.O

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №97457
 05.05.2014
Seberya: Just under the new words hides the usual old. Under the beautiful word "College" hides PU. Who is MS? This is an ordinary conference, leading. "Wow what a device/gadget!" That is, to call the device "the device" we can not. What about bit boxing? The rapers consider it art. And as a child, we called it "buckle the mouth".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97456
 05.05.2014
About "Breaking the template" by phone:
I take a phone:
and yes!
Aah...who are you?
A man, and you?
...............
He waited for a half-minute for a response, then put on the phone.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №97455
 05.05.2014
My friend told me about miracles.
He served as a sapphire in Chechnya. Once they walked through the canyon, scratching the area on the subject of "lists" as they should be followed by a column with supplies. In general, ahead of the kinologists, then the guys with metal detectors, the BTR with an antenna that silences radio signals, at the end of another kinologist. And here there is a wild explosion, bushes and trees fly in different directions. They looked around – all whole, no one was hit, it exploded from behind in 40 meters. Someone was running down the hill. have caught. On the interrogation it turns out that he laid a radio-controlled, in order to stop the column with the provision, but knowing that the BTR silences the signals simply from nothing to do decided to chew the controller. They called the commander of the BTR crew and asked "what's going on?" To what he answers, "So the antenna has not been working for more than 6 months."

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №97454
 05.05.2014
and Mom! by Mam! by Mam! by Mam!
Well what?! to
- Packages sent: 4; received: 1; lost: 3(75%).

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97453
 05.05.2014
Good time of day. After which phrase of the interlocutor you immediately understand his / her level of knowledge about technology?
- 'I am a programmer, from 13 years old I write in html'

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97452
 05.05.2014
Yesterday I felt that the military needed its own special operating system.

A friend calls and complains that the computer downloaded and installed updates at night without his knowledge.
The Apocalypse Conversation:
I don’t like this self-reliance when it’s not by order!!!!! to


[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97451
 05.05.2014
by V
In a line in the store, I heard a guy call the lubricant a leprecant.
Immediately introduced leprecon glossy slippery and smellful
The strawberries :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97450
 05.05.2014
The top of democracy is to recognize dictatorship.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №97449
 05.05.2014
In 1996, Yevgeny Lebedev was called by Mikhail Alexandrovich Ulyanov and that the Union of theatre figures and all the jury of the "Golden Mask" decided to award Yevgeny Lebedev the highest prize in the nomination "For honor and dignity". The only condition is that the nominee must be present at the award ceremony.
What number will the ceremony take place? I asked Lebedev.
“Thirty-first of March,” said Ulyanov, “come, we’re waiting for you.
"Unfortunately, I will not be able to," Lebedev refused, "this day I am performing at a charity concert dedicated to the memory of Strzelchik. I was listed on the poster.
There were many brilliant names in this poster. He performed with his famous orchestra. The stars of the Mariinsky Theatre. In principle, this concert could have taken place without Lebedev. It was a charitable concert. It was dedicated to the memory of the Comrade. People bought tickets, and the money went to the Monument to Strelchik.

Here they are real, honor and dignity.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №97448
 05.05.2014
Many Russian officials are transferred to domestic cars only when they are taken to the investigative isolator.

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