Only you will understand me! I don't know where it came from, but I had the habit of breaking the width before entering the cabin.
Recon105: KMM... So far by
Catman: You can guess! Here today - I go to the bathroom, well, in the evening, as usual, I stretch out on the go and get. I open the door of the cabin, and there is a guy sitting... And I am like that with a member in my hand...Stupor! Pause... And you know what thought was in my head?
Recon105: Music from the blue oysters?
Catman: The brother! )))))

My six-year-old daughter was very surprised to learn that man came from a monkey because she thought monkeys came from humans.

Onishchenko believes that the ban on the state procurement of foreign condoms in Russian hospitals could help us solve the demographic problem.
Yyy: I already see the headlines)))
yyy: "It is a sensation! The client of the women’s consultation flew from the ultrasound device!"
The future is here, the biorobots will capture the world :)

That the original was only "meat" man
It is...

According to the legend, in 3-7 years in the flesh person completely renewed all cells.
This means that when you wake up every morning, you are no longer a little bit of yourself.

Lexus has developed a flying skateboard.

Scuco, we have arrived in 2015!

green: I understood what the hoops at the beginning of the phrase say "E"
green: they want to open quotes to write a string in them, but they forget to switch the layout

Meeting in the metro with a beautiful girl.
xxx: Girl, in the moscovite turmoil you look so calm and peaceful, can you find out your secret behind a cup of coffee?
Yyy: Do you listen to the Leningrad group?
Xxx :? They have one mat, there is nothing to listen to.
YYY: Then we have nothing to talk to you about.
She came out with a stone face, and he went to the shower.

here here :
and----
Onishchenko: Refusal of foreign condoms disciplines Russians
– – – – –
It is a pity that he and his parents did not use condoms.

A glamorous brunette comes to the IT department.
We don’t have mail!
WOW: Natalia, we have a server failure, the mail does not work at the entire company, we are working on this.
The whole company??? Everyone is aware?
WOW: I guess it is.
HH: You don’t know for sure! Send a message to everyone by mail!
WOW:.... (what is the point)

We need to introduce such a weather phenomenon as Peter. Heat, frost there and Peter
and AGA. From the south to the capital approaching St. Petersburg, in the north of the country in places small Peter, at night possible Leningrad.

The proposal to expand restrictions on public procurement of foreign medical products does not threaten the health of the population, and in the case of condoms will even help solve demographic problems in the country and will promote accuracy in the choice of sexual partner.

The proposed restriction on the purchase of foreign condoms should not lead to an outbreak of HIV infection.

Shit, she never gave me after all!
Wow: Okay, you need to get your wife, not to train on the weekend in a fast-training day.
Wow: Yesterday I was dealing with my perversions.
Oh yeah wow! More details from this place!
Wow: enters the room in the evening, the face is clever, behind his back something is hidden and dreaming so to me: "Dear, let's go, let's do the perversion"
WOW: I’m already overlooking options in my mind.
Wow: and here she gets a spoonful from behind her back: "Let’s go, eat a spoonful of watermelon!!and "
What am I, not a man? I could not refuse a woman.
The next time you call me the third, I also want a strawberry ;)
Tag: distortions

I came up with a way to check whether time travel is possible. Everything is very simple – you collect a lot of money and hire a staff of scientists. You write the money of the years and so for 1000 ahead and leave a will to your company so that, when the time machine is created, its drawings are delivered in that same day to that room in the evening. If at the end of the day the drawings are not delivered, you can shut down the company.

The commentary:

The idea for urban fantasy: Evil descended from the depths of Hell to Russia
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY

From the depths, it is 5.
— — —
Well, we have such a life that even the deepest depths of hell are at an unattainable height for us.

Electricity was turned off in the office. I go out into the corridor, there is an electrician near the shield. The following dialogue:
Will there be no electricity for a long time?
E: Well, you need to get the wires, clean up, and then...
I: It’s all very interesting, but how much time?
The electrician looks at the clock and then answers me.
A: Without ten or ten.
The curtain!

Thirteen years ago, a cat was taken from a country village. The cat is charming, only now can not tolerate men, he cries on husband and father, and he adores us and his mother. We’re walking around the village today, my mom points to one house and says to my husband, “Here’s our Smoke from this house. Husband: This is the same house from which you should not take cats under any circumstances.)

This is how to solve problems:
I was constantly complaining to my neighbor that her guests were firing my lights.
I bought a box of fifty pieces today.
I wonder if it will last long...

by youth

xxx: Dear Sergey, I was born to play guitar, but recently I plugged my guitar into the guitar processor and instead of the expected JJ, I heard Radio Baltica! Now the hosts of this radio comment on all my solo and grandfather in the morning listening to the anthem. How can I save my career as a legendary guitarist and drive the unfortunate Baltic out of my guitar? Thanks in advance)

In Krasnodar, a criminal case was opened against a 31-year-old local resident who attempted to kill a woman in an elevator. The man is suspected of attempted murder of a 25-year-old girl and illegal gun trafficking. He was prevented by a faulty gun and a power outage.
<xxx> I think this is a guy from the future who came to kill his grandmother
<xxx> about that is what should happen

Paradox: those shouting that Microsoft is beginning to collect user information are not embarrassed by similar Google activities, which it has been conducting for 7 years.