bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №21114
 06.10.2009
Kiss: Zaya I was in the joule today
MaxNLO: Where was you...?
Kiss: Well in the joule. Like Google there.
Maxwell: I am sorry.

[ + 73 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21113
 06.10.2009
I remember seeing a bank "Hermes"
In ancient Greece, Hermes was the god of victory and theft.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №21112
 06.10.2009
<xxx>: The slaughter, organized by Major Evsyukov in the island, according to the investigation, lasted from 0.30 to 2.20, that is, almost two hours.
<xxx>: and where was the police these two hours? = is
<yyy>: the militia in the person of Evsyukov was at the scene of the incident
<xxx>: a, well okay

[ + 50 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21111
 06.10.2009
Pelmeni, doširaki, pelmeni... I can save a couple of lost souls from gastritis.
So, to prepare such a fast, simple, cheap, high-calorie and delicious dish like manna flour we will need:
1st Manna crops (about 17 rubles per kilogram)
2nd Milk (about 18 rubles per half-liter pack)
Three The water.
4 is Emalled pot (preferably emalled so that milk does not burn).
On a low fire, boil half a liter of milk. A weak fire is very important, so that milk does not burn and does not run away, so you need to stand and watch. While it boils, add it and mix 2 tablespoons of sugar. After boiling milk we measure the manches of approximately 3/8 200-gram glass and sink a thin jet into boiling milk continuously mixing so that there are no bits. We further reduce the fire and continue to interfere with the thickening mixture. If the flour seems liquid - add more grains, but don't get excited, otherwise it will swell and you will get a glue. Mix for 3-5 minutes until it gets thick and remove from the fire. We pour into a plate, take a piece of bread, a spoonful, fiercely woven.
It is strictly forbidden to use ketchup and mayonnaise. Rice oil is welcome, but not necessary.
Plus - cheap, delicious, fast (sufficient for 10 minutes), clearly more useful than soybeans and chemical plates. The cooking skill is minimal.
Disadvantages - you need to get rid of the compass for 10 minutes.
Have a good appetite!

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №21110
 06.10.2009
[02:35:38] <Petroff> Who is going to watch?
[02:35:53] <kissеloff> Petroff: look at the time.

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21109
 06.10.2009
X: Do you have a dream?
YYYYYYYYYYYY
Fuck everything alive.
It will pass... I’m talking about a dream...
Yyy: and even the cows of God.)
XXX: A kind of...

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21108
 06.10.2009
...Recently went past the park - there on the place of the former children's car town now a field for electronic strikeball. Children run with guns and some rings on their heads, on which the lights flash. and :-)
And along the fence are the mothers - those who are younger. And here it is, therefore, a crowd of boys aged 7-8 against two boys aged 11-12. The mother of one baby before it entered the gamble, which jumps on the spot and walks on the whole park: "Sereja, in the head, in the head!..."
...And these people are rushing to the channel "2x2" for propaganda of violence? And they say something about anime that it teaches bad?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №21107
 06.10.2009
The preamble of Sanya is a man enormous by nature, something similar to Valuev.
Guild Chat WOW

HH: What is Sanka not?
YYY: Before him yesterday the goops got fucked up...
Q: Is he in the hospital now?
yyy: ROFL, in the police department, the menta didn’t believe him when he said they attacked him, not him =)

[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №21106
 06.10.2009
I work
He works
She works
We work
If you read this,
You are not working.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №21105
 06.10.2009
by killmeplz
I am 24. Thro his life he was wide in bone (180 weight 130). I met the girl of my dreams. We are beginning to develop relationships, the only thing that does not please her is my body. I start walking in the pool, swimming in the pool, running every morning and the main set of exercises. As a result, in six months I lose 20 kg and pump good muscles. After which she declares that she is not going to associate her life with the “dumb duck” and goes to the pointy bird!!! I have two highs and I write a candidate. The girls are running behind me.
And I am offended by the whole world I go to the military department and demand a re-examination for fitness (cut overweight) - the result is healthy and in the spring I go to the army! CMP is stupid – see real muscles brain eaten!
_____________________________________________

You have changed your life! As for the best! And in terms of the army physically developed there is much easier than the other guys, and it is only a year.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №21104
 06.10.2009
My wife is studying for a psychologist and practices in a psychiatric hospital. The morning turned out to be sleepy and she was late to practice, I went to work. I write an explanation in the mantle:
The whole morning I sent my wife in the nonsense, she didn’t want to go, and didn’t let me break out.
The answer comes
Sarah Connor continues to insist on the existence of the Terminator!!and "

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №21103
 06.10.2009
XXX: Good, gentle, caring, loving, righteous war, honest heart, I will give in good hands, pay with true love!
YYY: And the liver hasn’t collapsed by chance?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №21102
 06.10.2009
They went to Egypt.
I work and I have no passport.
You are like a Tajik.

[ + 55 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21101
 06.10.2009
They say raise the birth rate, the demographic problem, ah! I live in Yekaterinburg, for those who are behind the ICAD - this is not the southernmost city of Russia and our temperature has already fallen below 0. There is no heating, no hot water. All thoughts flow to warm up! We are a young family. What sex is there, my husband and I didn’t do it before! We get under the blanket and do not move, so that the cold air from outside does not penetrate, so in a hug and fall asleep! And I’m sure it’s not just in Yaka that this is a problem! Until a couple of GEOs are burned and a few workers of the GEOs are hanged, the birth rate in the country will not increase!!! to

Sorry for the UG! As accepted here - for these quotes:

Dr. House: In any case, he has a bullet injury, just by the word.
Dr. Cameron: Was he shot?
Dr. House: No, someone threw a bullet at him.

Dr. Caddy: I can’t even imagine the perverted logic you used to shoot a dead man.
Dr. House: Well, if I shot a living person, there would be more paper fiber.

House enters with Black Father Foreman.
Dr. Caddy: The House What is it?
Dr. House: It’s not “what,” it’s who. They can even vote now.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №21100
 06.10.2009
On the days I go in the subway from Beliajevo to the side of the ring, the people are a little, a couple of girls cheat at the door. Kaneshna, all in the latest fashion: short jackets al-la "hello to the nephrologist" and jeans with low waist. The first girl is normal, and in the second this waist on jeans is so underestimated that <censored>. And the strap there - straight into a good man's palm size and in fears. Cherrycals-chiricals, and suddenly this with a strap pulls off her jeans and let the poppy spin so that <censored>.
First: You are more careful, people around.
Second: - I can't do more, Blaha on the clitoris gives.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №21099
 06.10.2009
hronicus: I attached a bag of tea to a cup of clamps.

Dushen : Why?

Chronicus: The eternal problem of breaking threads and falling papers in tea has been solved.

Dushen: Fuck... Bauman is indestructible. proud of you.

hronicus: "The Bauman is indestructible" was yesterday.

Chronicus: When I caught myself that, splashing into the urn, I am making a correction to the wind.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №21098
 06.10.2009
I have a friend. Very good guy. Graduated from the Institute of IMD. He went to work in our brave militia. And he had a car VAZ 2106, but on that unfortunate day something broke, and without a car he, well, it is impossible: he has arrests, seizures and even God knows what. In short, after a long negotiation, he took a lexus from his father. He goes, he goes to himself, well, and rolls a beehive before him, cuts. The friend, frankly, looks quite young, well, in the runway of the driver, apparently, burned it. A friend begins to circle her on the extreme left strip, beha also on the left. One to the right, one to the right, one to the left, one to the left. It lasts a while. A friend does not think long calls to his, so, so, so, the number of the car is so, I would have a phone as! He calls the driver:

D: Did you, Gandon, really drive that way?! to

And further in the same spirit...To say that the driver was upset, means not to say anything!!Doooolgo apologized, and assured that it would never happen again!!!Then he clung to the side and missed a friend.
This was the case for a man who did not respect other road users.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №21097
 06.10.2009
My acquaintance was online! So when these eagles left, she discovered that the twisted pair going through the room was missed through her new expensive weight loss wreath.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №21096
 06.10.2009
Teacher: And at the session, I will completely get rid of those who go badly!
Students with disabilities? and O_O?

[ + 60 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21095
 06.10.2009
to this:
to this:
Crash: Well, the acquaintance entered the mudlo...
SnOoPy : Where is it? O_O
Moscow University of Wood and Forestry Processing.
____________________________
In Kharkiv we have HYYAK - Kharkiv University of Nuclear Cybernetics.
Z is. Those who don’t believe, go to help ;)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna