bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145387
 06.10.2017
The horse sport

Riding horses is the norm. in the winter. in the spring. In summer and autumn. This is their purpose.
If they are submerged. If not covered, it can be covered. Failed attempt to subdue = +1 kick.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145386
 06.10.2017
Once in the forum:
In December began painting equipment at work, I was also looking everywhere how to paint the machines correctly, etc. Found the guests, the requirements, showed the boss the photo of the new machines. And it ended up with the fact that the boss said that you can paint in any color, the main thing is that the paint is green!

[ + 28 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145385
 06.10.2017
He owned two private planes.
He regularly spent large sums of money in a Las Vegas casino.
I bought a house for $100,000 in the Philippines.
We spent weeks shooting luxuries in the best hotels.
I bought rifles and ammunition literally in tons.
–...
Are all the retirees like that? Or the FBI doesn’t notice anything.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145384
 06.10.2017
Sounds like it sounds like! "Coursework"
1uck: Vitebljanka is if he lives in Viteb. And she lives in Vitebsk, so she is a Vitebsk.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145383
 06.10.2017
xxx: in the city above the building near one of the fountains fixed a big bird layout and periodically lose the sounds of predatory birds - to drive the pigeons either from the fountain or from the building.
YYY: Well, I think the predator will be removed.
But these pigeons have not seen the predator in life and have no idea what sounds he makes, so with curiosity fly closer to the bird layout and without seeing anything interesting they go to the fountain. Interesting spectacle, but the chance of being covered near the fountain increased twice.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145382
 06.10.2017
In 1991, I was introduced by a carrier to a base where TVs were stolen. Opera said: You have such a rough, never mint is like. Vanya of the Collegiate "A Hundred Years Without Harvest"
Next to the base was a winemaker, a brewery. We were all brothers and we were full. I wore for two weeks.
He lived with his mother then. She got terrified and said she would go to the chief, because the child (i.e. I) works in the police and drinks every day. I said it was a conspiracy, but my mom didn’t believe it.
I told the opera that the operation was in danger of failure. My mother wanted to go to the general. My implementation is over.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145381
 06.10.2017
xxx: The largest hooks weigh 4.74 tons each, have an outer diameter of 132 cm and a 63.5 cm carving.
xxx: had to look for the gauge, because you understand yourself that you can find on request "the world's largest screw"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145380
 06.10.2017
The Watts

You load very small potatoes into the washing machine, without any detergents and pressing dull cold water thoroughly "washed", so that you beat the drum well, then take such encouraged and immediately into boiling oil for a minute or two. Then such a little goldened in bags and in the freezer.
In the winter to roast and eat, it turns out to be the type of semi-fried, but for some reason much more delicious.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145379
 06.10.2017
Yesterday I accidentally cremated the cocktails. My husband said it was the best cupcake in five years of family life. She was confused and thought for a long time.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №145378
 06.10.2017
The trains cannot overtake each other. Same as trolley buses.

Trolley buses can overtake each other. Emergency - almost everywhere, and in some cities (Simferopol) they do this regularly on schedule. The outgoing tramways for 25 years have not been seen, but the city electric cars outgo each other quite commonly, for example, in Tokyo. Depends on the topology of the network.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145377
 06.10.2017
After reading the title of the "tentative to summarize", I immediately remembered Baian.
"Re[238]: The final layout"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №145376
 06.10.2017
The Apostle Peter:
Have you committed adultery?
by Hugh Hefner:
Sit down more comfortably.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145375
 06.10.2017
Several years ago, as a sub-work, moderated the forum of one theater, where the repertoire included the production of the musical "Kabaret". At that time, age marks were introduced everywhere. And if you know the plot, then you understand that it is at best 16+, or even 18+ (in the presence of prostitution, bisexuality and many other triggers for moralists). We were 18+.

Approximately once a month people came to the forum to complain about this show. In the spirit of "I decided to get acquainted with the classics of the world music and at the same time to include children, and you have on the stage THAT, fu-fu, horror and depravity!" (why mostly wrote the fathers of families, women are more inclined to get acquainted with the plot, are they embarrassed to admit in their miscalculation). When asked why, in fact, they dragged children to a play about which black on white is written that it is for adults, they either did not answer at all, or answered in the spirit of "well, this is a musical, I thought it was a family genre, there can be nothing like that!" And by the logic of things, people who write different kinds of co-co-co on the topic "Why you tell us what age it is, we will decide ourselves what to show our children!"-it is probably not they, but doubts still glow.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №145374
 06.10.2017
XXX: I am angry with this "hor".
XXX: The meaning of something
XXX: Normal People
XXX or falling patrol
XXX: or all of the department
xxx: but not "art" scuco!! to
XXX: The Hipsters

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №145373
 06.10.2017
xxx: Sometimes a system carried through the factory pass.
xxx: Wachtersha rewritten the serial number from the back.
XXXX: 220V and 50Hz

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145372
 06.10.2017
I just listened to Philip Dick's "Killing", where the entrance door, the refrigerator required 5 cents for opening, and in case of refusal threatened the court, and today I read here: "Discussions about the prospect of keeping cards for passing in the elevator."
They want to introduce something like that. It really significantly saves the house and the elevators work longer. People are healthier. They go on foot.)
......
Not to use the toilet. Or suddenly - a new year, unfresh fish - and you lost the card.
What is there next with Philip Dick, Electric Animals?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145371
 06.10.2017
“The recognition of cyber sports at the state level in Russia has finally begun to bear fruit. The Russian Federation of Computer Sports and the Russian Federation of Computer Sports will hold a joint cyber-football competition on PS4. The winners and prize-winners of these tournaments will receive sports titles and titles.
WSJ: Will there be a military pension?
ZZZ: It depends on who you fought for.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №145370
 06.10.2017
From the Fire:

A separate story was with an attempt to share on Facebook. Facebook chooses the photo itself, and it is impossible to change it. For some reason my text “Lost Innocence” was accompanied by a photo of a daughter with a cactus.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145369
 06.10.2017
Truth is done. My companion moved from apartment to apartment and had only one flower in his pot - coca. Yes, the same one. On the derivative leaves of which Escobar earned ohuliards.

But in the turmoil of the move of the flower (although it is more like lemon in appearance) put in the entrance to the border there some and forgot. I remembered in 24 hours. Naturally, he is no longer there. tk. The house is in a good area, most likely it was taken to live with you, because it looked like "take the plant-we don't need it." So now someone’s home has a real Colombian coca, and that someone will never know about it.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145368
 06.10.2017
The standard is 40 people per toilet :)
and yo-ho! A bottle of rom.

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