bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №12917
 06.12.2008
The crisis. The boss calls a nice office manager, gives her a letter of orders and a pen. There is only one line on the sheet: "No fuck can be fired".

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №12916
 06.12.2008
Open question to Putin:
Looking at your speech, this is the question:
Where in Moscow housing is sold at the price of 42-44 thousand per square meter.
With respect to Nikita Ermolov.

Apply a thumb, maybe it’s here.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №12915
 06.12.2008
Wonderful thing computer...Sitting for five minutes – an hour and a half has passed...

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №12914
 06.12.2008
Someone in our office drove a dog out of the street. We decided that this is our new employee because:
She was late for an hour and a half.
2) sitting nifiga does not do
3) grabbed the cookie, now it is sneezing and trying to fall asleep

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №12913
 06.12.2008
from Blog
I lie down quietly, I wake up slowly, I turn on my stomach... And here suddenly!!! Bite for Friday!! to

I look at the cat with the question in sight, “What are you doing, Offgel?” and he looks at me with the already prepared comprehensive answer in his eyes: “I am a Offgel!”and "

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №12912
 06.12.2008
> have you seen him? He can write on Tamagochi Chita for immortality.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №12911
 06.12.2008
As the saying goes, “You can’t get into the same thing twice.”

and the..."

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №12910
 06.12.2008
http://talks.guns.ru/forummessage/37/75632-2.html



How is it possible to fly on soldier helmets?

Maybe, but very low. But everything is in order.



of Arkhangelsk. KGB of the USSR. The spring training. Field of Miracles

Complex Border Belt (CPP) near the fireplace.

About 50 meters. Our fourth training course. Weighs on this.

The CPC itself. Many are in the direct sense of this word.

What kind of beast is this, KP?

O-o-o... It’s been almost seventeen years since I can remember everything on my scars.

obstacles on this track. The bridge to the tower. From the tower of

The ship's rope on the wall. Down the water pipeline.

Obstacle to Burrell. 20 meters under a clutch wire -

Obstacle to spotting. Then the standard river and labyrinth. The small wall C

Entrance to the chain of browsers. Jumping into a bunch of sand. The exploded bridge. The first

Throwing a grenade and jumping into a brick wall window. The Second Throw and Pull

through a closed gap with an exit into the fox of nora. A burning barrier.

After (my death) a high wall before a pit with water. By the brick through

Running 50 meters along the active mannequins. Glad for my year.

But they were completely destroyed, and there was only a whirlwind. Apparently everything.

I forgot to add a little bit. Running clothes by three.

of man. There is no time as such, thirty minutes as if not time.

The strip has to be overcome. The account is live. The survivor is a hero.

I am upset, let’s start again. Now exactly all.

So then. Our fourth training course. It weighs on the same CPP. Fighters of

They are joyfully trying to survive on this same track. Training officers and

Our own servants are actively helping us in this simple business.

What do they help?

Good advice and a kind word.

The wall is yours again! Maybe it will go down!

Just try to get stuck in the window!! by Zee***

Come down the fucker!

Mostly, the aid comes in the form of an automatic turn on the loose,

explosive package, smoke barrel or other chemicals. especially talented people,

The officer has already gone through the entire lane. This also happened. by

Finally, he says so gently to talent:

Next time I’ll shoot. A funeral at the nearest lake. You are

Understood everything?! to

It terribly helps. The main thing in the evening is to realize that the day is not in vain.

Tomorrow there is something to do and there is something to remember at home. already asleep,

Dreaming of hanging a sergeant in a sort and fucking a colonel.

The daughter. (Even if the colonel is not married and has no children.) It is a lyric.

So then. All in business. There are routine lessons.

And here in the midst of this routine, our fathers commanders found for themselves

and entertainment. There was a tube digged into the ground. Initially unclear

What is. If you throw an explosive package into this pipe, and the pipe itself is closed with a bank.

From under detonators, it becomes similar to a mine. Comic effect and

terribly noisy. The officers liked it too. And when they (our servants)

Unattended, a miracle happened.

Fuck all that.

And what?

“Look what I can do,” one of our sergeants said proudly.

The man burned a package. People have moved to our

The Hero. He puts it on the ground and covers it with a helmet. To the general surprise,

The sergeant sits on the helmet. You will not believe. When the bomb exploded, our

Munchausen jumped on this helmet almost half a meter! Witnesses are crying

of jealousy.

In to give!

This miracle interested everyone. The people of Walmart have stumbled upon it.

The Presentation.

Our sergeants in turn made these wonderful jumps and flights to the

the casket. Everyone liked the process. Until the second miracle happened.

Do you remember the story of the unhappy man from the Titanic?

- Yes to me with my luck or whistle broken catch or shark

and deaf.

The last one in the box was such a lucky man. Was the DSH a little longer?

Whether the cable has been removed, no one knows. The lucky sitting.

on the helmet and waiting for flight. And it all does not happen. He sits and waits. and nothing.

Unknown is. Then he goes up to find out the reason for the delay.

The jump. It slowly rises up, surprised.

The jump was done. To my taste, it was the highest jump.

in the casket. The most noisy. Such a great acceleration for our lucky man.

I gave my helmet. JS has burned. The lucky man got a fifth.

A standard 3.5kg helmet with explosive force.

The cry was like the assault of a bartender under Zmerenko by drunk Hussars in the

of 1812.

Then we carried the unfortunate four kilometers into the squad. Every step was taken

He has hell pain. He was barely sitting down when the doctors said he was

Eggs also have hematomas. They were so joking. The man calmed his way.

Nothing terrible. You will live. You will not have children.

Our hero will stand.

Do not insist, the sick. It is harmful to worry.

Is he no longer a man? Interested in our boss.

The educational pledge.

Anything is possible if the process starts.

Now you have one path.

Where to? The client stands.

Do not cuddle. In the blue.

The sergeant wept.

Nothing will come out. They will not even be accepted in such a shit.

The medical service reassures.

The patient lost consciousness. Do not be afraid of happiness.

The next three days, about what our Munchausen is doing a great need knew.

Not only our border, but all the surrounding houses. Probably local

We thought dissidents were tortured in our part. In the bath, we had a chance.

I watched the ass of our eagle flowing through all the flowers of the rainbow.

An unusual spectacle. The northern lights are more beautiful. As they say, in

Taste and Color.



We did not want to fly on helmets anymore. I do not advise you. So, even in

Pediatrics will not accept.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №12909
 06.12.2008
At the rehearsal of the orchestra, the conductor is dissatisfied with the shooter’s play:

If a musician can’t play anything, he gets two sticks.

He becomes a drummer.

Theatre whisper from the orchestra:

And if he does not handle the drum, one stick is taken from him.

He becomes a conductor.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna