bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111729
 06.04.2015
Only a man of undoubtedly great talents could have thought of calling his daughter Sodoma.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111728
 06.04.2015
Sleepless: Though some household object, electric appliance still remained "unintelligent"? Clocks, scales, refrigerators, washing machines are all smart! I don’t even remember the Japanese smart toilets, although, probably, it’s still exotic for us.

Serg2255: I have a socket for a cup of coffee – it’s a grid from an old feed unit. It performs the function very well. It is not clever.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111727
 06.04.2015
Who else remembers the difference between fluid and fluid?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №111726
 06.04.2015
Among the residents of Crimea conducted a survey: how to correctly say “to Ukraine” or “to Ukraine”. It turned out that in the opinion of the Crimeans is correct “from Ukraine”.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №111725
 06.04.2015
From the discussion of the topic "The author of the text for the "Total Dictation-2015" was Yevgeny Vodolazkin":
A: I used Wikipedia to get acquainted with the author. I read, Russian in white: "Lives in St. Petersburg." Well, I’m in shock to tell you! How! → How can you live with such a name in St. Petersburg? Why has Eugene not yet changed her for Badlons?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111724
 06.04.2015
The peak of idioticism on my part was to open the article "Spoiler" on the lounge, and, having caught those same spoilers there, also to offend somebody.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111723
 06.04.2015
Very helpful :

It is very helpful!!)) An old Soviet film. The place of action is a beach, a few families rest.And drunk young people get to them in every way.Defending, the positive main character accidentally inflicts a deadly injury on one of the villains.Now and the whole film, in fact, the disassembly-judgment-evidence of eyewitnesses. It seems, in the end, the hero was given conditional, and the prosecutor resigned.


The middle of the white day, Lenfilm, 1983.
According to the materials of A. Waxberg's court sketch, based on true events.
In principle, the theme of the film, at one time much discussed, has not lost its relevance now.

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111722
 06.04.2015
Relatively difficult work and pay. I've heard one Amuzginsky bike a long time ago (as far as I can pass on).
The Dinner. After work, the carpenter sat on a stone covered with skin. and rest. There were no secrets for him in his craft and every job was on his shoulder. He was honored and respected for his work. A young soldier jumped to him on a hot fighting horse.
The thief! In the battle, I bowed my dear cloth, fix it and I will pay you well.
The carpenter, looking slightly at the bended sword, dropped the skin from the stone on which he sat, laid a cling on it and sat on them, after which he showed the warrior an absolutely flat cling.
and how! But you did nothing! Anyone can just sit here.
The master didn’t even grieve, but simply put his sword on the stone again and sat on them again. Then he handed over to the warrior exactly the same bended clut and said, “Sit down yourself!” The Dinner...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №111721
 06.04.2015
This quote from 2011:

xxx: In order to prevent fires and combat them, 25 icons were sent to Krasnodar region.
Here is modernization, here is Skolkovo, and here is nanotechnology.
****

The authorities instead of the engineers decided to point the sticks, everything is clear.
In his time, Tamerlan was taken away from Moscow by prayer.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №111720
 06.04.2015
A year ago:
===
A acquaintance said:
In the kitchen with my husband. My husband is watching news on TV. After a while, thoughtfully says: Lena, first you were going to go to Egypt to rest. There was a coup. Then you decided to travel to Thailand. The opposition was also upset. You spit on everything and said that you will go to rest with your mother in Ukraine. Look what’s going on there now? Lena, stay at home!
===
Will Lena be sent to the United States?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111719
 06.04.2015
Vampire masochist occasionally entertained with the asshole circle

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111718
 06.04.2015
andreeva_anka: dick, dots in concrete columns are not duplicated. These are the marriage tricks. They like, who knocks louder and louder is the main guy in the village. In our village, a boy loves a iron man on an old lighthouse pillar. the ring, the whistle and the thunder throughout the district... but the bird feels like the most important bird :-)
lrlay777: Interestingly, when I found some piece of armor somewhere in my childhood and started melting them on the iron door of the basement (I liked to watch the sparks fly) did many in this large house of two hundred apartments call me the first barrel of the district? ))) (It was about 10 p.m.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111717
 06.04.2015
Parents gave life and upbringing, no one disputes, but I was born to get a three-room and not a two-room apartment from the state, so I believe that I have a completely legal right to its part.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111716
 06.04.2015
The online shopping forum:
Please tell me what to put a baton, I ordered a baby hat I LOVE MAMA, and the seller sent I LOVE PAPA, this inscription was fundamental to me, there are no questions about the quality of the hat.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111715
 06.04.2015
I bought a laser printer :)
YYY : ))
XXX: Sorry there was money, and then the gifts were given :)
YYY: and why?
XXX: Hz to be honest...
YYY: ahah))
XXX: We went online check-in for the plane today
XXX: and there should have been printed landing cards
XXX: nothing works
I went and bought a printer.
YYY: rju fucking))
XXX: Overall, the most expensive printing two leaflets in my life came out :)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №111714
 06.04.2015
A good family is when there is someone to give with joy.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №111713
 06.04.2015
I had a neighbor — a charming grandfather, intelligent, good-hearted, non-drinking, probably therefore good-hearted. And he had an old friend, they fought together. Also the grandfather is funny, intelligent, really cynical and sinister, also non-drinking, probably therefore - cynical and sinister.
And my neighbor, Ivan Palych, or simply Palych, terribly adored animals of all kinds. And the hamsters with white rats at his house lived and two dogs, old already, they left the house and with him almost did not go out, and the homeless poor - all kinds of dogs and cats and birds, he always fed, and it was necessary - so he treated at his own expense.
And somehow, a front friend of our Palic drew him a cat. Very very small. He said - found, to give up - so it will end up, sorry. I knew that the palic, a good soul, would not throw out the cat.
He didn’t throw the thumb. Asked the neighbors, the acquaintances, could not build anywhere, and left for himself.
The cat grew up, a funny face, neighbors loved it - his painful color was unusual and his ears were huge. Everyone cuddled when grandfather and cat walked out. Grandpa with a stick, and on the shoulder like glued, cat, the eyes are half-closed, only the ears are healthy - here and there, like locators.
And was walking, next to the Palic. The tail of the pipe is important. And only Palych knocks on his shoulder and squeezes slightly - the cat immediately ran a little and jumped his grandfather on his shoulder! When he was small, he had to sit down, and as the cat grew up, there was no need - a bird flew on his shoulder.
Time passed and the cat grew. We told Palic in a joke, that a friend of your front has swallowed you - brought a tiger, now it will grow up and you, Palic will eat!
Laughing and laughing, and the cat mulled out, oh, what a joke! The differences from ordinary cats became visible not when we weighed him for interest and it turned out he, an elephant, weighed 16 kilograms, and not when he jumped straight from his grandfather's shoulder, kicked out the deceitful dogs who thought to snatch the cat. And even not when jumping on the shoulders of grandfather, he often beat him out of balance and they bowed forward, the good grandfather was old though, but sports, never injury happened.
The differences became visible when in the evening at Sberkassa, at Palic, the lovers went to live up with the pension of the elderly and the elderly.
The car went behind the stool. From there he jumped. The lover of tomb and retirement money never realized that he was stuck in his neck, trying to stifle, while the back legs of this thing, huge captures instantly scattered his leather jacket, craftsman and stuck to the ribs.
The goat spoke so that not only his followers, but everyone in general, fled in horror. He was also in the ambulance. Oral until the doctor, in the process of dealing with the situation, promised him, if he did not shut down, to sleep him, but not for a while, but forever. The anesthetic colt, sister (silent so, only few heard), prohibited.
The next morning, the cat came to sleep. We gathered all around and wanted to defend the hero. But the wounded Palic came out, brought out a wreck. There was clearly a cat's body. gave to veterinarians. It turned out that the goat broke our heroic cat, the goat brought it home, and the cat died there.
The doctors looked at the package and left. They submerged and left... And Palych left the same evening for the country and returned in October.
That is all.
Unless I add about non-drinking cynics. About the cunning, non-drinking cynics. Late in the night, the day I was attacked, I was smoking at the entrance. And here, the front friend of Palic is by my side, with a package wrapped up, in the entrance - a shaft.
And in October, the Plych from Dacia came. We immediately noticed it – it came back! And whoever did not recognize him - the grandfather goes with a rod, and on his shoulders lies a huge cat of incomprehensible color...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №111712
 06.04.2015
The Bible says the rain lasted forty days and forty nights.
They called it a terrible disaster.
In Peter, this is called summer.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111711
 06.04.2015
No, it is right:
==== is
In the clinic in the schedule of doctors line "TRAWMOTOLOGIST". So I imagine:
Welcome to Doc. I am injured.
==== is

The simple Rastamanian doctor just wraps the grass :)
Welcome to Doc! I would like to have a mouthpiece of grass ;) Haile Rastafaraya!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111710
 06.04.2015
XXX: Have you seen someone else?
YYY: About the cockroach? 😉 saw
xxx about the cockroach? A movie about what a cockroach.
YYY: There was a big cockroach.
If for you this is a cockroach, then I will never go to Belarus.

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