bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №85254
 06.08.2013
Nate
All over the city posters "City of good deeds". People come and smile. And only I got a poster with the cuddled "d" in the last word. I tried to be evil all the way to work.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №85253
 06.08.2013
“The true characteristic of an uncultural person is to waste other people. He will not tilt to raise the evil to the urn, he throws the cigarettes from the windows of the apartment and the car. And also: such people are bad with spelling and punctuation.”
by N. Nestorov

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №85252
 06.08.2013
xxx: I've been a couple of times in companies where before the call the prostitute came to work)
xxx: but usually it all ended up opening the site, cheating and closing it.
YYY: What are you crazy about?
zzz: the curve

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №85251
 06.08.2013
When was the last time you had sex?
slashlv: 19 years ago
But you have 18.
SLASHLV: I am about the same.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №85250
 06.08.2013
The code is licensed.

the license.
Take whoever you want. Do what you want – change, distribute, sell. It is not necessary to indicate my authority. But if you do something interesting with the program or get interesting results as a result of its use - please write a comment.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №85249
 06.08.2013
You get used to everything with our people.
Smoking in the toilet is a banality. In the bathroom and cry, and paint, and change clothes, and kiss, besides what there really needs to be done.
But today I realized that our people are capable of surprising everyone. I go to the women’s toilet and I hear the sweet warm smell of delicious Chebureque. The silence of the only closed cabin.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №85248
 06.08.2013
answered
MrBigJoker: So tell me, why in the future, with all the typical flying taxis, aliens, and Mila Jovovich, Bruce Willis smokes from the light bulbs?

Vintage or Old School

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №85247
 06.08.2013
Tamias: You will laugh, but on the router they REALLY give Santa Barbara! Collection of 28 DVDs.

[ + 6 - ] Comment quote №85246
 06.08.2013
They entertained as they could:
The psychiatrist asks me what the proverb means: “The forest rubs the sticks fly” I say: “I don’t know” he says: “I’m not in a hurry” and begins to make tea. He eventually won.
The boys grabbed differently. The motorcycle wheel did not pass through the door. But ask the surgeon when asked to develop the buttocks and bend, ask" that the delays do not see" is already too much.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №85245
 06.08.2013
And remember, shit, on every clever ass there will be a whore with a screw.
Do you know that there is a ass with a labyrinth on a cock with a screw?
In the ass with the labyrinth there is a cock with a jeep.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №85244
 06.08.2013
Then the Sun will become a red giant.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
A nephig to eat after 6 billion years!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №85243
 06.08.2013
This is FIGN. In Belovezhskaya in one building, the sberbank, the post office of Russia and the fifth. This is hell place.

Near the Ryazan Prospectus in one building, the court, the prosecutor's office and the military department in one building. What's there in the basement - I don't know, I didn't enter, I suppose that descending a couple of dozen levels down, you can meet the devil.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85242
 06.08.2013
> Registered on your gaming forum specifically to ask me to develop a game!

> you’re going to get a point here now.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №85241
 06.08.2013
...from a friendly conversation with a friend, a mathematically unlearned mathematician, about the Poincaré theorem:

PR: If it’s quite simple, imagine that a rubber blade can be pulled onto a ball, and not onto a bubble.
I: I would have pushed...
During the drinking of alcoholic beverages in the kitchen, Nikolai Valuev proved to Grigory Perelman that the rubber heater is stretched onto the cupboard, bottle and Perelman's head, and the universe is more like a bowl twisted into a pipe.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85240
 06.08.2013
A joke: the author goes to make money, and in front of him on the transition, the hoys pin one after the other: his elderly parents, his wife with a wheelchair, and his older children, going out of school. Who will we push first, citizen?

This is the irony of fate. In a small mushoshransk under the Ryazanya lived a Big Man. And the power of the Big Man in a small city, as you know, is almost absolute. Unlike all the favourites of both capitals, by the way, where the Eloi are not illusoriously afraid to catch out the morls for the very tomatoes and therefore distinguish a lot more crumbs from the bar table and bore in moderation. And this Great Man loved to drive fast and not always sober. It happened that he beat a woman. to death. It wasn’t by accident: at that moment he was doing exactly what he loved. Her daughter intended to seek justice to the end. It would be unlikely, of course, that she won, most likely it would have happened to her "unfortunate accident" soon, and this is the problem: she raised such a noise that he had to urgently leave for a week or another "business trip" to the notorious Moscow, to raise connections and put his hand in the cushion, so that there were enough funds to shut up the matter. He left... and did not return.
Some drunkard on the rugged "six" turned it into a bloody mess when His Majesty came down from heaven to earth for a moment, walking on a pedestrian crossing.
The prize found a hero.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85239
 06.08.2013
by Natasha Natasha:
You know, my brother once conducted an experiment, known to many: in the microwave you need to put a regular light bulb (not economical), close it there and turn it on. The lamp starts to shine on its own. Yes, the lamp lit for 30 seconds, and then we changed the wire in the apartment for a month. Another useful experiment.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №85238
 06.08.2013
I don’t even have chickens for money. No chicken or money.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №85237
 06.08.2013
I work in a large design institute, we deal with industrial facilities. Accordingly, the word TRUBOVOD is used everywhere, both in drawings and in explanatory notes.
I work far from the first year, and I am accustomed to errors such as TURBOWORK or TRUBOWORK, and I don't even pay attention. But yesterday I encountered such a writing that I could not work anymore. In the explanatory note signed by the chief executive, the GIP and the chief engineer, TURBOPORNOVOD was included.
A copy of the masterpiece will now be in the frame on the wall.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №85236
 06.08.2013
My mother tells. A new product sales agent has appeared. My mother, she can’t remember the name at all.
Employee: Nadia is her name!
Mom: We don’t have any Nadie, I can’t find an association!
Employee: Well Nadia, Hope, we have hope to fulfill the sales plan.
I remembered.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №85235
 06.08.2013
Accounting of a large organization. End of working day, period of submission of various reports. The girl gets a bunch of paper from the printer, begins to unravel:
The certificate of whom? Who printed it?
The tired voice:
If it’s to blame, it’s not mine.

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