And where can I download the new MS Word with the new rules of Russian language? He emphasizes everything in red.

Trigger: Well, I don’t like Hammer, big not reversible
NiGGeR: Don’t tell...as one of my acquaintances said after a trip on it, the legs there move on their own.
NiGGeR: I want Hammer!
Trigger: wow, I wanted it too :)

I am good. He found the phone in the bus and returned it to the owner.
My boyfriend said I’m dumb but I’m proud of myself.

Well, why are they all rushing to a woman with a cupcake, whose husband is kindly talking to Doshirak? I cook my husband a delicious and varied food every day: borsches, cocktails, baked foods, cakes, cakes and other homemade delicacies, but he still gets to eat this notorious Doshirak once a month. I like the taste, what now? And I can't cook home Doshirak with all the desire, well I don't have E451, E1256 and anything like that.

Meeting with a real Captain.
A man goes like this, with a deer.
I see a lot of brownies.
I ask unknowingly: "Dad, where did you get those?"
Answer KO: "In the woods.. there they dohuya.."

True laziness is when laundry is washed in the washing machine.

I swear that it is true...
The strange and incomprehensible humor of the staff of the organs, or rather their bosses...
Lighted my acquaintance a very bad trip, for a month, in exchange, shorter, far and long. There was no desire to go, of course. And the ments strictly, did not repel in time - they are stuck to the hell on the knives. Here was a gift to the boss. He said he invented the whole night. However, before the eyes of the king, all the reasons went somewhere, probably, the brain stroke did not withstand. And therefore, a friend found nothing better than to lament: "I can't go on a business trip, especially for such a long period. My wife for this time runs to the left, she’s crazy for me, one day without sex – fucking everything that moves.” I swallowed and I swallowed myself. The chief trembled from the soul, then scratched the pumpkin (see, the same house) and said, "Well, what to do, I will send a replacement, go to yourself." Wrecked by such a rapid success and a failed trip, a friend sparks out of the chief's office. And to drive to the acquaintance was the same night, in the morning, practically.
In the morning he is at work, straight from the threshold receives a pencil for not leaving for a business trip, after 2 minutes calls his mobile wife and whispers: "There is a lieutenant with a paper signed by your boss and says he came to replace you!!“!”
The acquaintance for a long time murdered: "Why did this phrase not seem strange to me right away?“?”

Two cows are talking:
You know, I think they feed us just to drink.
our milk, and then kill and eat.
Get rid of your conspiracy theories! The whole herd is over you.
will laugh.

Ladies and gentlemen ‎(16:12):
The trees are like women, first beautiful and then naked.

Bandit ‎(16:12):
They were small and thin, then big and rough.

The Minister of Education makes changes to the Russian dictionary.
Saakashvili attacked Ossetia.
The Queen of Great Britain is hosting a living sculpture exhibition in London.
What are you killing time at work?

To laugh, for what I bought, for what I sold: gave a guy with us. He served somewhere in the east. He told me that they had modified ziles, with descending iron rolls. Driving of wheels for riding the rails. You know that if you drop them under the wheels, you get 5 speeds back and one forward. And it was very slow) and they wanted to get to the village faster. The captain catastrophically drives the car on the rails with his ass forward, three fighters sit in the body, the combo in the cabin. and carried. According to the norms, the speed allowed in this movement is not 10 or 20 km / h. They remembered when they overcame the suburban train) Picture with oil: a heat truck with passenger wagons hurts, and a military truck passes by the branch by the ass forward, sparking scars from under the wheels)

by Avanturist.org

My friend complained today. His mom licked his belt because he came home late, as late as 2 o'clock at night (!). All would be nothing, but this friend fought in Chechnya and in Tskhinvali. That’s my mom, I’m worried 😉

Igor: I am of the generation for whom the radiation icon means Duke Nukem, not a stalker!

From the forum:

Uzer1: The administration reset the patch so that it does not download.
thank you.

Administration: Aki, the Fathers of the Desert, in the bushes of the grass is the creature of God named the Carpenter. And the color and appearance and likeness is cucumbers. She eats grass and grass. And the meat of the goat has never eaten. And the wild beasts came to him with flies and shared the meal with him for the sake of fraternity.

Suddenly, as if in the night, came the stinking Frog, a great sinner, a cruel woman. And as the unmet hell will cast out its stinking mouths, and will devour the Carpenter for his secret sins. Even if the Carpenter, very worthy of pity, did not have the shame of the false at confession, and did not hide his sin for nonsense, could not have swallowed him unreasonably.
For in vain the carpenter did not remember the hour of death, but did not correctly guess with the magicians about the time of his coming, but did not think about the death of the angry without repentance, so will die unprepared.

Uzer2: if admin always responded so quickly and clearly, at least sometimes it seems that we live on different planets=)