bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №146243
 07.11.2017
The author of “Tragedy on the Bones,” understand one thing. When a woman wants to sew, she goes to a craft store and buys everything for sewing. But if a woman goes to a laundry store and bought underwear, it means that she wants to wear underwear, not sew. And to do something behind the wrong-handed masters, she has no desire.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №146242
 07.11.2017
xxx: Educated people should not use the expressions "grandmother", "woman" and etc., indicating the physiological characteristics of a woman.

YYY is an alternative?
Immediately anticipating, with regard to the appeals of “the lady”, “the lady” or “the brother” judging by the surveys, cause irritation in the majority of people.

zzz: "Ancient human being" However, there can be discrimination on the basis of age and species. So it’s just "form of life".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №146241
 07.11.2017
This story was told to me by a colleague. Her husband is a military doctor. Colleagues from Syria came to them. They all spoke Russian well enough, so there were no problems with communication. It was a warm friendly relationship. One Friday, one of her Syrian comrades approached her husband and said:

I bought tickets to the theatre. He wanted to go with his companion, but he had a lot of things to do and he refused. Do you not want to go with me?

You know, I would love to go, but I have it today.

He slapped his index finger on his throat.

The Syrian colleague compassionately shrugged his head:

Oooooh, the tanzilite very badly. Treat me Volodymyr.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146240
 07.11.2017
Comment under the post "Can the iPhone X survive the fall?" (the video plunges the iPhone 8 and iPhone X from different heights):
Can the owner survive the fall of the iPhone X?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146239
 07.11.2017
When we separated, she said that I and my cat would now eat only peelings.
And there were: mantas, ravioli, hinkali, tortellines and only occasionally pelmeches.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №146238
 07.11.2017
A friend told me a story.

Whom I am lying to. It was with me. A month ago I went to the trichologist, she said that you need to treat the scalp with tea tree oil. Need meant need. I bought tea tree oil. Nothing predicted trouble. I went to the bathroom and followed the instructions.

I have to say that the smell of this oil is specific and in such concentrations sharp.

Wait 5 minutes and rinse with shampoo.

did not help.

Dare once again.

And then again.

In general, the first week I smelled this tea tree no worse than the tea tree.

And with each washing of the head, the stinking smell again reminded me of itself with fresh forces for 2 weeks.

And my friends now call me simply, Puerchiko.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146237
 07.11.2017
Begin to play MMO. And you’ll get used to other people calling them by nick, and you’ll start calling themselves by nick :D

yyy: Later, when dating closer, it is fun to watch a profile in the UK where on the photo a solid uncle in a costume, leads some presentations / lectures, on the video gives an interview, and for you he is Joppa Gnom ;D

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №146236
 07.11.2017
“I had a job at a company that manufactures security door systems, and to demonstrate how it works, I called the first apartment that came in. And if no one responded to the call, I just left a brochure on the kitchen table.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №146235
 07.11.2017
xxx: Who knows how to drop the mirror settings to factory settings?

It used to appear normal, and now there is some alchemy.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №146234
 07.11.2017
Anastasia’s acquaintance demands to call her Assey. Sorry, dear, but Asay or Masay let your loved ones call you, and for me you will always be Nastya, because before Anastasia Sergeevna, from the point of view of my status, you have not yet grown up!

What was it now at all? A very fat troll or a person who recently arrived from another planet? Each name has a few generally accepted reductive literary forms. If you only know "Nasty"... Well, even Turgenev, read what, be enlightened. Asya and Nastya are two equal reductive variants of Anastasia. And if you’re so dumb that you can’t understand it, in the place of that Anastasia, I would eventually have stopped reacting to some nausea, but only to Anastasia (because the incomprehensible defect of speech doesn’t allow you to call her Assy).

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №146233
 07.11.2017
You know,

Many years on Mondays in the morning I thoroughly shave, wash under the shower, and so on. Then I go to work.
Monday 6 November is a non-working day. I did it as usual, and it depended.

If you do this every day instead of once a week, there will be no problems.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №146232
 07.11.2017
Spacey is treated for sex addiction in an elite clinic along with Weinstein.

Who will harass whom?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146231
 07.11.2017
Holidays of interest

Not that it really needs to be, but what does the eggs do to the bridge? It is not wood everywhere, but a double gun - what will be left of those eggs? Especially for the stone.
The type, perforated with a perforator, swallowed a loop, then carefully carved... It is no longer an intellectual, with such skills will not disappear in this life.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146230
 07.11.2017
XXX: Greetings
YYYYYYYYYY
zzz: hello to you))
I didn’t write there 😉
YYY: so far
zzz: so far)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №146229
 07.11.2017
xxx: When the cat says "MeU!", you have to think about it

Yyy: And if I say ‘Mao’, is it time to start believing in communism again?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146228
 07.11.2017
I read the story about the buttons and "what to do there?" long rusted. Once I was completely green, but like all the youth, full of energy enthusiasm, ready to sleep 3 hours a day and not tired, went to work in the churches. And picking up the home staff, how did the housewife spit the same phrase: it washes itself, what is hard for you to hang out and pull out of the dishwasher? To which I got a short but concise answer: hide it yourself. And only after clinging to living with different girls-boys realized that these hangings steal enough time and energy to react aggressively to the fellow resident who thinks what to do there.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146227
 07.11.2017
You know, we seem to have a very serious relationship.
yyy: 0_o What?
You know the expression "pood salt eaten?"
YYY: Oh, the salt is over, well, I’ll buy it tomorrow, don’t have to scare me.
XXX is worse. Soda is over.
The Soda, Carl! It is usually bought once in life.
YYY: Yes, it looks like it’s really serious.
yyy: Blind, iron vessels without antifreeze coating - a guarantee of family happiness

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №146226
 07.11.2017
The second week I can’t watch American movies... I try to follow the plot, enjoy the actors’ play, and in front of my eyes – the horrors they had to go through in order to get a role.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146225
 07.11.2017
If something is the correct interpretation of "the destruction by burning of material values not intended at the time". The [...]

The bed, comrades of the students, consists of a keeper, a pump and a switch. (c) an unknown hero of the military department.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146224
 07.11.2017
Our pensions are just cosmic: to live on them, like flying to the stars.

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