I recently attended a court hearing on an administrative offence. At the beginning of the proceedings, the judge establishes the identity of the person being prosecuted. This time it was a citizen of Kyrgyzstan, which is actually salt. C is the judge, P is the offender.

Q: Your education?

A: The normal...

Normal, what is it? Higher, Higher and Higher?

Q: I have finished school.

Q: Is your family situation? Please don’t say it’s normal.

A: It is heavy...

Q: Does that mean married?

It means solitary...

The most important thing is not karma, but the pocket.

His years are my wealth.
(To the disappointment about the age, which has recently leaked on the site.)

Difficult duty: severe anesthesia, unpleasant patients, whom even their mother-in-law would not be able to love, emotionally unstable parents, bringing to hysteria their children going for surgery, foolish relatives with dumb and old jokes about the use of cuvalda for anesthesia, methamphetamine-packed bombage - all this hernia managed to squeeze in those 30 hours.
I sit in my office in the opera block, poisoned by negativity and fatigue, like an old toradoor overwhelmed by bulls, and, holding my head with my hands, I think:
It is time to end, all, 35 years of this life - it is necessary to leave, until I have yet to hate my vocation and all my work in medicine, exhausted to the bottom, seemingly bottomless wells of my humanism have exhausted and dry, and health is no longer that, not a boy, 57, joints hurt, heart...
The most bottomless shake - compassion for myself, sinking, I drown in it, without attempting to resist, the strength simply did not remain, even to breathe laziness!
And here, with his youthful, as if dancing, walk, to me comes the sluggish stretched doctor Jay, a 90-year-old, his office closed 10 years ago, but continues to resort to Caesarean as an assistant, an enthusiast and an optimist, master of his business, Caesarean with his participation lasts times faster and with much less blood loss than in the best centers (20 minutes and two glasses, I called this dynamic duo, first working with them 20 years ago)
(And despite the fact that we are 20 years old, our caesareans remain as fast and low-blooded.)
Misha, we need you, we are all busy, let’s go, let’s get up, let’s work!
In that state, I would send anyone, but I could not refuse him - he was already working as a doctor in 1960, when I didn't even itch in my father's wombs!
He helped me get up, hugged my shoulders, and we went to the operating room – Napoleon raised his wounded guard in the final attack at Waterloo.
The air of the operating room revived me, I stumbled – like an old combat horse at the sounds of a military orchestra!
I put the spine playing, a lovely couple, the first child, a boy, shouted as they were pulled out and immediately described the midwife, the newborn was brought to us in five minutes, I took them family photos, group portraits of two and three, the uterus was well shrunk, they slowly closed the stomach, mommy thanked us all, and I went home...
I go and think: no, we will fight, we will sleep for five hundred minutes, we can sleep for six hundred and we will fight!

Instead of following:
Several of our doctors are fascinated by piloting, a small airport right behind the town, hangars, small Sessna.
I flew a couple of times with my partner – the father-founder of modern anesthesiology of our town. It is fun to fly over your home or hospital, over autumn vineyards.
And safely, he masterfully owns piloting, I was asleep...
Last weekend he had his birthday, I ask, how did he have it?
I taught my grandson to fly.
Shame to say, but I forgot how much you knocked?
89 is.
affairs...
The air here, what is so special?
Is it water like that? @Michael Ashnin

2020 is the year of the rat.
Using this opportunity, I would like to congratulate the deputies, the government and all officials!

My friend, who previously worked as an investigator, told me the following story.

A girl comes to the police and writes a statement about rape.  They raped two, one held, the other raped, then changed. Investigators with no hope:

Have you remembered the signs?

What signs?

- Well, what special, spots there, scars, whiskers...

No, I did not remember. Here is.

He takes a passport from his bag.

While they were kidding, I pulled one of my jackets out of my pocket.

This morning.

The ice cream is so easy. clouds in the sky. Rejoice like that. Of course, the snow is just dull.

The driver’s side of the car crashed and crashed. With great difficulty, looking through the side of the passenger, bending his head, he drove to the car store, well he through a couple stops.

The snow is heavy and there is nowhere to go.

The store works from nine. When I arrived on the radio, the news was over.

Nevertheless the doors are closed.

The man who grabbed the snow around the store learned that they would now open.

I sat in the car until 9:09, then decided to change the doors in places and go somewhere else. He removed the car from the passenger side, and the driver collapsed finally.

The doors of the shop opened, alluia! Time is 09: 16.

I go inside, no one. Tilt and silence. Five minutes walk. He picked up the carpenters, called the saleswoman, “Au, is there anyone? The people!” Fuck, I think any cloud would have taken off the shop for a long time...

At 09: 21 comes out of the shelter a girl seller, thirty years old, light hair, cute, with a sharp movement pulls out the fire extinguisher and puts it on the shelf at the box office:

Do you need it? A thousand two hundred.

I stood and said, “No, I need firefighters...Why a fire extinguisher?”

The girl: "I thought your car was burning, that you were boiling here for five minutes."

Heracles...

“Girl,” I said, “What is Hamam?

“I don’t chew, you don’t know how I chew, just wait five minutes. You see, open, so why scream?

How rude it is.

I don’t, there are a lot of shops here.

I look - on the wall hangs information about who the owner, IP, address, and phone. I call my phone number, go out on the street, in the telephone a quiet male voice:

and allo.

A car shop in your garden?

Emma, what has happened?

-The store opened a quarter of an hour later, plus the seller hugged me for nothing, and I wanted to buy...

The red vendor? The White?

Bright, not red, such with a nose.

With a nose... Ah, what to buy?

The palaces, what then?

Sorry, but what amount were you going to pay?

A thousand, what does it mean?

-I apologize for the work of my staff, now I will call the seller and she will sell you the clothes significantly cheaper. As an apology.

Okay, I say, let’s try it...

I go inside, the girl takes the telephone, listens for a few seconds, then makes the face like a offended child - the lips down, tremble and the eyes wet.

What kind of houses?

Please show a couple of pieces, I choose two for 280 rubles each. She separates them from the common pile, folds, and I am standing at this time with a thousand in my hand. I wonder what the discount will be.

All that, keep it.

He throws the hoodies on the shelf, I take and extend the money. She shakes her head sharply:

No need, it is free. I will pay them.

The seller is a mixture of anger and anger.

Normally, I think, I say “thank you” and turn to the exit. She tells me afterwards:

I have a paycheck...You’re probably proud of yourself, right?

I think for a few seconds, then pick up the package and say, “Thank you again, I’ll come to you more often.”

In the car, the owner called again, asked if everything was okay, and again apologized.

Often when it is not possible to bring the children anywhere with a lot, you have to go to the race of any kind, so that the children get rid of them. There is one nearby, the largest in the city. There is a labyrinth there, well, you know, all the children are caught there go shopping or walk... so this labyrinth on all four floors is in our ROC. He launched his two sons there, at the time they were 6 and 8 years old... the age difference makes them play differently, so they run on different sides, rarely play together. I came only for the sake of the children, so I just stood and watched them play... and then I noticed that my younger didn’t share something with one of the boys playing there... I noticed that from my side some man is shouting to his son, “Take him out, but hit him now... I see two men standing, apparently brothers, very similar. And then I notice that the second one is also screaming something... two more are running to my son and all three are starting to beat my son. For me, the outcome of this situation was known, because it is not the first time, and I approach these fools and ask why they teach children this way? When they realized that I was the father of the beaten man, they immediately began to say the same boys, they must fight, there is nothing terrible about this, we adults will not argue about it.



After 15-20 seconds, my older one flies and the first strike puts one of the children, is taken for the second, and so they both struck the three wicked ones that they envyed, until their fathers jumped... they look at me, and I smile and say, they are also children, nothing terrible... I thought if they would start jumping the ears of both of them at once, but the picture clearly showed what kind of children and fathers... did not risk.

Our childhood perception sometimes changes so much with time! Recently, I remembered an episode from my childhood - my parents took me to the "Pepper" show. I probably won't remember what I was for the theatre, I only remember that the performance was great, and especially remembered the Evil Maid - uhhh, what a straw, just a terrible grimza! The actress played great!

When the artists went out for a tribute, children with bouquets dragged onto the stage - to give flowers to the artists. And I went. Of course, all the bouquets came to the beautiful Princess Cinderella, such a golden coat, in a glowing dress! And I was going to give my flowers to the Cinderella. It was only when I reached the stage that I was suddenly overwhelmed by dullness, and I only had time to climb the side stairs. And then... I turned to the actress who played the wicked mother-in-law, going to ask the idiotic question (I still remember) “How do I get to the Cinderella?” I opened my mouth, I froze... and the actress thought it was her flowers! I remember how her face was squeezed under the makeup and the ugly warts she was made by the make-up makers. She took my bouquet, thanked me very warmly, and was obviously surprised. I pretended to think so, smiled wrongly and ran to my parents in the room.

Then on the road I said, “Well, how! It is me! I want a butterfly! And she...!”

Years have passed now, and I remember that scene, there are the actors, Cinderella with a huge grip, the Prince too with a few bouquets... and the Evil Maid with the only modest bouquet and a warm smile on her face.

I am so glad that I got stuck!