to this:

I recently took a bus from Ramoni to Voronezh.
At one of the stops enters and sits in front of me a grandfather of 60 years of age, in his hands he has 2 packs, in a transparent package lies all kinds of cups of yogurt, some fantasies, papers...
Here the grandfather notices that I look at his package and consciously gives:
I forgot to throw the rubbish!

This is very important....
Grandpa anyway.
I went to school three times in my childhood with a pack of garbage in one hand and a shift in the other.

to this:

Talk about the army...
I read today in the newspaper about the tightening of the punishment for evaders. It is said that in the new law, the evasionist will be considered who did not come in the prize point for the spring / autumn honey examination, and not as before after the issue-writing of the agenda and not the presence for a respectable reason in the military commission.
And now what is the situation in the army itself... Not only that deadline officers are stupidly beaten to death, now it has become even worse, at border points their attention is sold into slavery!
Hanging $ or appealing to the medical point will cost you freedom! These are real cases, our timetables are sold into slavery to "churks and hatabs".
Mr. Officers and Soldiers, if you are reading this, FIX THIS GREAT ARMY, and then invent THESE GREAT LAWS!! to
Think about this...

------------

I wanted to advance, so that they could read, think... but press on DIFFERENT the cursor did not rise :(

British scientists have concluded that cats prefer to use their right front leg and cats prefer to use their left.

The world is saved, people!! to

My wife tells me about her son:
I have Slavka small, when worried confused the letters in the words and was very embarrassed in the store to buy something.....I persuaded him anyway, went..gathered, gathered and issued:" Aunt, dude bobra..." break in shopping 2 years))))

XXX: Have you seen it?
YYY: Yes, the pudding worked out.
XXX is more! Made by Tychology LED!
YYY: Is that something else?
XXX: Delayed and finished)))

XXX is
Have you seen the Eggs of Fate?

YYYY
No is

XXX is
I look at the screen.

XXX is
count the shadows of people visible, 33 minutes - man 15 got up and left

XXX is
Five more escaped.

YYYY
:D

XXX is
This is the funniest moment yet.

Frequent lethargy and drowsiness in a man is a sure sign that impotence has spread to the whole body.

The seller, not paying attention to a fairly young buyer and not stopping to talk to a friend, discussing with her all the latest news, completely accidentally, not wanting it at all, poured in the girl's bowl not vegetable oil, but cream. The girl, not confused, said in no childish tone:
– I told you, pour me in a bowl of vegetable oil, and you...
The saleswoman, suddenly switching to the girl and forgetting about her girlfriend, reddened from anger, went to the warehouse, washed the bowl and, nervously trapped with a cane in the flag, poured her shaking hand into a clean container of vegetable oil. The girl quietly took the bowl and, dropping her tiny pen into the bag, got exactly the same, clean, glass, litre bowl and stretched it to the seller with the words:
Here is the cream...

Take from the website http://det.org.ru. Author Catherine

With the first child, parents boil everything in a row, with the second - only nipples, with the third nipples are given hot water, and if the nipple of the fourth is pulled and bitten by the dog - then it is a child's problem how to get it back!

Call by announcement:
Hi to you. Do you need a programmer?
and yes. What are you writing?
In what sense?
Are you a programmer?
- Yes
A programmer is a person who writes programs. What are you writing?
A... (short bits of bits)

to this:

A biology lesson. Subject: rudiments (all the unnecessary things we got from animals)

Evgeny Robertovich: Well, one of the most well-known rudiments is... if a footballer misses and hits him, it hurts... Well? He is soft...

Mazdaj (joyfully): The smell!! to

Raven: Well if you have this rudiment, I’m sorry for you.
--------
Can’t tell me what he meant??? 0 - O

VKontakte and discussion:

Anyone who called the thread? well there is a peak lady, a whistleblower...

Christina Brittic wrote at 19:27
No, only the doctor at home...after which I was taken to the hospital...but so scary

Sorry for the ug, but the attempt is not torture.
I was hit by a car, I have been in the hospital for a month, a spinal fracture. I don’t know if I will ever walk again. It is not difficult for you, please wish me good health.

The xxx:
Today my wife cut on the onion, and I was crying.

To find this secret gap through which the socks from the washing machine under the couch.

The universe on vacation. We sit in the buffet, fire alarms and such a sad voice:
"Fire alarm, everyone leave the building."
At the exit, they asked the guard.
The students:
What happened?
The guard:
Again a fool with a button.
The voice from behind: “I’m not a fool, I’m the fire safety chief!”