bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №14306
 07.02.2009
fNikus:church, try to change the coding
I am not a guy, I am a girl!! to
FNikus: Sorry, I just thought it was you on the avatar.
I am on the Avatar!


[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №14305
 07.02.2009
What drivers do in traffic jams. A friend told me - traffic jams are such that everything stands, the snow is falling. In front of him, a driver came out through one car, began to clean the snow from the car with a scratch. The same thing happened to the driver who was close to him. Then my friend began to do the same. After 5 minutes looking around on the sides - all the guides within the limits of visibility stand hard working scrapers =))). And then someone is smoking, someone is in need, someone is joking. You say, it is in the nose.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №14304
 07.02.2009
I found the cheque. From the crossroads. long thought that I could buy with the name "shishkin love", until it came to mind that so called the cashier

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №14303
 07.02.2009
Redfiera: Yesterday night we went to bed with my husband, and our cat was stuck to wear around the room, turning circles from the couch (on which we sleep) to the window, from the window to the chair, from the chair to the floor, and again on a new one. At some point we were tired of it, and when the cat was making another jump from the couch, the husband got up and said sharply, "Boo!" The cat did not fly to the window... little while falling, she tried to get caught in the rope of the rope standing next to her, and eventually got a rope that fell on her head from the top...
The rest of the night the cat was not heard.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №14302
 07.02.2009
Wikipedia from the article on the US education system:

Usually Americans finish secondary education at age 18, which coincides with the age of majority (21 years).

I am plagued by blurred doubts.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №14301
 07.02.2009
From the conversation:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
What kind of bear?
What a fucking Putin.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №14300
 07.02.2009
Microsoft founder Bill Gates released a roar of mosquitoes at the participants of the TED conference, reports AFP. In this way, he decided to draw attention to the spread of malaria.

Speaking at TED, Gates said malaria was spread by mosquitoes, and he brought several of these insects with him. He then opened a bowl of mosquitoes, saying that there was no reason only poor people should get malaria.

After a minute’s pause, during which mosquitoes flew through the hall, Microsoft founder said that the insects he released were not malaria carriers.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №14299
 07.02.2009
Q: Do you play the guitar?? to
Margo: I play
Honey, what are you playing with?? to
Margo: in the hiding shit hd

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №14298
 07.02.2009
In Moscow, it is not permitted to pass pedestrians on pedestrian crossings. I saw, in our Siberian town, a little girl crossing the road on the crossing, and she was shot down to death by a cruiser with a Moscow number and pulled 15 meters. Moreover, he twice exceeded the speed regime and circled the stopped cars on the free lane.
Know that Russia is not limited to Moscow, and there are places where the rules are accepted to be observed! Sorry that’s not funny.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №14297
 07.02.2009
McAfee is the best antivirus.
He stuck his welcome letter in the spam folder and offered to label the sender as spam))))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №14296
 07.02.2009
Shooter ‎(20:13):
I was shown on TV.
Tower of Sorvalo ‎(20:13):
My daughter was in the newspaper once. In the village, the typical anniversary was 300 years ago, there was a celebration near the Lenin monument, and I stood in the first rows.
Tower of Sorvalo ‎(20:13):
The newspaper was named "The Hunt" )
Shooter ‎(20:13):
and)))
Tower of Sorvalo ‎(20:14):
I kept the page from the newspaper, I thought my mother would come, I'll show, and her grandfather took her in the sorting, the ass subtracted ((
Tower of Sorvalo ‎(20:14):
This is where my glory ends.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №14295
 07.02.2009
Anyutka, 18, Russia, Izhevsk
About me :
Can anyone explain to me what is happening? For some reason I was interested in incomprehensible people of completely different ages, from different cities that are far from Izhevsk!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №14294
 07.02.2009
by N.A. (15:07:48 3/02/2009)
When he said, be my rabbit, I didn’t think I would be a bunch for this rabbit to collect!!!! to

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №14293
 07.02.2009
At_: lately full shit was, wrote a statement on the topic why I need a salary

[ + 59 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14292
 07.02.2009
K is

1: [ 34 ] added 2009-02-04 21:34
-n0name-: probably everyone in the children's house had an Aztec leopard hat with rubber))).

________
You won’t believe, fuck, even a coat under the color...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №14291
 07.02.2009
I read this in the article about toilets:
The 60-year-old Queen Elizabeth I did not like the innovation because she seriously feared that through the sewerage system enemies could deprive her of her virginity.
O_O

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №14290
 07.02.2009
Any impasse is a carefully disguised exit.

by Yuri Tatarkin

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №14289
 07.02.2009
http://users.livejournal.com/vba_/65197.html



About game skills.



In the community of our institute lived one senior student named Count,

Excellent Grandmaster of Preference. In its unbeatable, elegant

In his manner he constantly dressed even the great masters, not to mention the

All kinds of seeds. Money from the partners he pumped out immeasurably, and, as a result,

With him few people sat down to play, although the dream of every lover.

He took revenge, and the Count was struck.



And then one evening, the eternal victim of card cards ran into the kitchen of the community.

Kulaev cried out that the Count was sitting drunk in his ass.

Can be taken with naked hands. A delegation came to the Count.

Revanchists persuade him to sit down for the game. But he, dumb tired on the floor,

standing firmly on the bed and all over the floor, began to refuse,

referring to fatigue. The rebellious men assured that for such

A great player, like the Count, drunk a glass of wine is not an obstacle, but vice versa.

and help. The Count stood up with all his strength, but, in the end, he

The resistance was broken. He was hard to get to the table where he

The partners were already in a hurry to write a sheet, and tried to offer to play the game.

The minimum bet. But the excited partners of the pressure did not weaken, and, in

The result was an unprecedented high rate (in my opinion,

20 copies for a view).



They handed down the cards, the Count took his own, looked at the painted sheet of bullets,

He stood up on a chair, wore a penny (he wore penny) and looked around with affection.

and partners. Everyone was terrified to see that he was sitting in front of them.

a sober Count, having nothing to do with that salivary medusa, which

He painted a minute ago. He was sitting at the table in front of them.

A merciless concentrated fighter.



“Once,” said the Count.



Such a bloody card bath, like the one that followed, our faculty

I did not know.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №14288
 07.02.2009
The incident in the Gulf of Aden.

Ukrainian ship captured by Somali pirates

A ransom of 3.2 million was delivered. of dollars. Seeing that amount.

Ukrainian sailors with bare hands strangled pirates

They fled in an unknown direction along with the ship and the cargo.





by Andrew (c)

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №14287
 07.02.2009
XXX is
How do I know my iPad?

YYYY
I need a rosette.

HHH
Okay she

YYYY
Stay here!!! to

YYYY
It is fucking :(

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna