If there is chemistry, there will be physics. Divorce and mathematics.

How I almost drowned in school competitions and swam third

The third class. I and a few other classmates go to an athletic group (fortunately I don’t even understand why, apparently, it would be).

Fizruk says, “There is a possibility to put you in the pool.”

I said, “I can’t swim.”

“Well, at the same time you will learn,” persuaded Fyzruck.

Oh well ok.

The school with a swimming pool was located in the neighbouring district. The school was not a profile for athletes, but simply had a swimming pool that has not collapsed since Soviet times. In general, the pool also had its specifics - it was strictly for children (not even for adolescents) - at first it had a depth "by the knee", and at the end of my third-class was slightly above the heels.

Swimming in the pool, where you always feel the bottom, was easy. And "to the depth" I almost never swam, except to push away from the shore.

Thro the winter, we were engaged in swimming, and in my case rather walking, and in the spring, the physician told us that there were competitions between schools, including swimming.

“We need to introduce experienced swimmers in every age category! You went to the swimming pool all the winter – it’s time to show everything you’ve learned!” Importantly, as if from the tribune, he was speaking phyzruck.

Said is done. The girls enrolled, the quotas for athletes were covered. I took a calm breath and stayed on the “reserve bench.”

On the day of the competition, a fist comes to me:

Do you have a swimsuit with you?! to

And what?

Damn take it! I had a swimsuit with me because after the lessons there was a swimming pool.

- Katka did not come to school today, and we can't call her! It’s time to go to the competition!! You will be in her place!

I can’t swim...

Why are you swimming there? Just a hundred! In your age category other species are not stated at all. You will push back stronger from the border and forward!

Maybe I should not send anyone instead of a catch? I had an auction stage.

I have already submitted it as a member. From our team then the glasses will be removed for the unappeared athlete.

Okay well. Power for the team.

At this point no one understood the magnitude of the mutual misunderstanding.)

Competitions were already held in special swimming pools for athletes, and right from the start I went under water. Not feeling the bottom, I desperately wandered around the circle, trying to catch up with at least a tile of the border. It was honestly heroic. After a while, I felt the vector of the right direction – a pin in the back with my leg – and a miracle! I was swimming. There I could already, going under the water, feel the bottom, so I pushed back and cheered that there was urine. At the finish I was waiting for a rescue depth "by the chest" and a frightened physique:

What? what? What was it?!! He was grumbling.

Let me tell you that it is deep!

This is a pool for competition.

I said I can’t swim!! to

I thought you were humble!

Snoring with emotions (and I also with water), physruck and I did not notice that of the six tracks of "experienced swimmers of the younger age category" I went to the finish of the third.

I and Abramovich, I and Greff, I and Sechin – this is the social distance... And with normal people on the street, I just have a distance between physical bodies.

One day I turned off from fatigue, my son was a year old with a small one. Lie on the bed, he was playing on the floor next to him, riding a machine with large wheels. I slept and listened. As I heard or felt it, I could be with my eyes closed. I lie. I sleep. He is playing. He is nearby. Everything is OK. He rides the machine on the floor. He is a little silent, but there is something going on there. He rides the machine on the floor again. Now on my back. How pleasant! and Kaif. Riding on the back and shoulder. Again on the floor. Now in the face. Poppy is Katy. Not to open my eyes. Running on the hair. On the cheek. It smells shit. It smells more shit! I open my eyes. He rolled a bunch, crushed with his fingers, crushed on the floor. She rolls on her wheels and then on me, on my face and my hair.