bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №48583
 07.06.2011
by VAZ 2111
I bought the car on December 31, 2004, as there was a discount of $100. I took a luxurious setup, immediately put electric glass lifts, a steering wheel, a signal, music, glued the body, carpets new rubber bought, brushes changed at the courtiers, well, there, disks, rubber - it is understandable, and went! No matter what, the car is a luxury. Maybe I was lucky, but for 7253 km I only changed the support bearing, a pair of stands, a working adhesive cylinder, a carburetor, an oil pump, candles and a cylinder block head. The brake does not count. and all!! I think the VAZ 2111 is running! There was only one capital.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №48582
 07.06.2011
From the Fire:

I was 5-6 years old. To "eat" I have always been optimistic.
In the morning, I go into the kitchen and see a huge pot in which something is cooking. Well, I think we will eat something especially delicious, the pot is a big one, I approach the mommy:

Mom, what are you cooking?
and shirt.
And why?
How Why? We will be!

I still remember the feelings of bitterness, despair and hopelessness that encompassed me:

“Mommy, I don’t want to eat clothes!”! to

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №48581
 07.06.2011
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev declared June 6th as the Day of Russian Language. The first comment to the news - "guyy loll".

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №48580
 07.06.2011
The dilemma is that scientists are smart but mostly terrible, athletes are beautiful but mostly stupid.
Find a half-scientist and half-athlete.
Zzz: Half scary and half stupid?? to

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №48579
 07.06.2011
XXX: Anti-plagiarism
xxx: I checked my course on Saturday at the university from the teaching school, where the bases are most complete.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
XXX: showed 30 originalities!
XXX: The Fuck
Tagged: gesture
xxx: in the net on the site shows 60
xxx: it was not easy to do it, I took Medvedev's speech on the net, found it, put it in the word, 25 sheets went well, sent it to check, showed the originality of 45%, clean I know, on this anti-plagiarism we have the president's speech from the bank of referrals downloaded
YYY: ROFL

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №48578
 07.06.2011
If the cat has stopped being afraid of the perforator - it is necessary to bind it with repair.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №48577
 07.06.2011
My friend is a self-critical man. Once we talked about singing, and someone remembered what they said on television: like people without a voice. We hiccalled - without a voice, maybe, and does not happen, but without hearing - to.uya and more. And the friend developed: "Here is my voice, yes. Even the vessels in the movie sound. And by the ears in childhood the herd of begemots ran through. I went there and then back, for loyalty. Yes, if I sing, the dog of Baskerville will be stunned by the peas. And probably twice. The first is from fear, the second is from jealousy.
And so yes! You have not heard how Dymon sings! :)

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №48576
 07.06.2011
I have the feeling that cats when they knock on a person at night stupidly check the living one or not ;-)

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №48575
 07.06.2011
@YankaSyulzhin: A bee came into my room. He opened the window hoping it would fly out. Now I have two bees.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №48574
 07.06.2011
OWS (14:07) :
Did you know that peppermint was included in the list of drugs?

The Angel N. (14:07 pm) :
and Kaaak?

OWS (14:08) :
We sit at work and think about how to use it as a drug.

OWS (14:08) :
All of Russia is thinking about it.

[ + 102 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №48573
 07.06.2011
sander: bought in the pharmacy a pill from a hamster some domestic, on the recommendation of a pharmacist
Sander is sitting. I work. The head has not yet passed, but there has been a causeless stone stand (already 15 minutes)
Sander: I understand, of course, that it is unlikely to be related in any way, but the sick head worries me less and less.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №48572
 07.06.2011
Did someone make you go before me?
I tried alone.
Bite, get on the head, go away?

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №48571
 07.06.2011
by Katarina:
We don’t have a camera, we only have iPhones.

by Katarina:
My camera was broken by the housewife... and her secretary’s Linkin fell.

and Igor:
And my slaves were broken.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №48570
 07.06.2011
From the discussion on mail:
Question: Why the airport in Kazakhstan? It would be more logical – and fly away.
Answer: Good that you don’t go out!

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №48569
 07.06.2011
What to cook for dinner...
Wife: Greek with farce will go?
Husband: Candles, bed, underwear, socks, wine
You can also eat grass with farce.

[ + 45 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №48568
 07.06.2011
I recently gave birth to a child.Once I talked to a female teacher about this. The physician approaches and asks, “Why didn’t you tell me that you had a child?” He asks when she gave birth, I answer. Fizruck thinks for a few seconds and says, “No, not mine!” and leaves. There is no scene. I have a loving husband and I have never even talked to him. Now everyone is touching me and talking behind my back.

[ + 65 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №48567
 07.06.2011
by Skripkin:
At the recent anticipation, graduates who do not have time were processed in full.
And here our head of the department, distinguished by character and cynicism, spending his strength on mocking and screaming, said to the next miserable: "Why do you do nothing? I’m tired of washing your feet.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №48566
 07.06.2011
Google once got into history - bought electricity for the data center, and the center did not put into operation on time. And under the contract for the non-use of electricity he had to pay a fine, more than the cost of el-va (there are such absurd contracts). Google bought some 5 MW industrial air heater and heated the atmosphere for a couple of months.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №48565
 07.06.2011
Father told me:
He went north by an electrician attached to several construction objects. They were stationed 26 kilometers from the object, at the base. It sounds like a proverb with a hysterical voice: AAAAAAAA, we don’t have a crane.
The crane doesn’t work – it’s PP. Concrete disappears, construction is standing, losses are nearing not one hundred thousand for one shift. In general, in panic of alarm broke a brigade of 6 people to save the situation. Prorab sits in the booth, heats up. The further dialogue:
What happened?? to
The crane is standing, it does not work.
Check the El. energy, shifts, waves, like all the norms.
Everything is fine, why panic?
I’ve been watching for almost an hour that the crane doesn’t work.
Maybe he has no work yet?
Maybe how do I know?

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №48564
 07.06.2011
According to the assurance of the president of "Nancy" Jacques Parantine, the name "blette" (from French - beetle) was fixed in the team after Zavarov, because Zavarov often pronounced this word when someone of the partners (or he himself) was wrong on the field.

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