I am at the Institute of Traumatology. My leg broke. Half an hour ago, they placed a newcomer in the chamber - their boyfriend in the board, in a Hawaiian shirt, shorts with paparazzi and mirror glasses. The diagnosis is a rupture of the ligaments in the shoulder. The doctor explained to him that the operation required a bandage for subsequent fixation of the arm (we call them helicopters).

Sanya, so called the guy, quickly found on the Internet among the ads this bandage, slightly b/u, and asks a neighbor, a former colonel:

Uncle Cole, call me and make an arrangement. Or I am not very capable.

Uncle Cole took the phone and called the number:

Hello Hello good day. Are you selling bandages? What price? Can you deceive yourself? very well. Go to school, 12, I’ll go out, I’ll take it. What? How will I dress? Like a puppy, fucking.

The guards stopped in the morning. Check the docks. As if they were asking:

Q: Did you use it yesterday?

I : No.

Why is the face red?

I: You see, I’m a non-drinker, so I’m ashamed that I don’t meet your expectations.



Purchased and released.

At the next table a little girl cried and cried very loudly, the parents had zero reaction. She returned with the phrase, “Why are you crying, you want me to be your mom, I and your dad liked it.”

I’ve never seen the kids calm up and leave the cafe so quickly.)

And another story, which I heard as real: one man rented a house to tourists in North Transvaal, and he lived in Pretoria.

One day, neither light nor dawn, his mobile phone was called by other guests, Americans, and with a panic voice began to ask for advice, what to do - in the bathroom! As it turns out, it was a big varan.

The man, cursing about himself "these dumb people from the stone jungle," advised to drive out the squabber's donkey and fell down to sleep further.

But he failed: the guests called again. “The caterpillar has taken the swab from us, what should we do now? “!”

They say “reform,” we mean “they will steal.”

In 1955, the first secretary of the Central Committee of the CPSU Nikita Sergeevich Khrushchev during a trip to the country visited his native village of Kalinovka in the Kursk region. By this time, in honor of the outstanding landlord, the local collage named Chkalov was renamed the collage named Khrushchev.

By the arrival of the renowned guest, the village, with the support of the district committee of the party, was thoroughly prepared - the tables were broken from drinks and snacks. Khrushchev recognized his relatives and friends, whom he had not seen for 20, 30, 40 years. The dinner continued until the deep evening. Friends of childhood approached the head of the country, talked about what they lived, asked for something. The helper of Khrushchev only had time to write: “Bring a shiffer, nails, cement...”

Conducting Khrushchev to the car, Nikanor Krotov, a childhood friend with whom they grazed livestock, and now the chairman of the farm, spotted the departing guest with a protective bass:
“You Nikita, don’t worry. behave with dignity. Do not let the loops go down. Work honestly for the good of the people and remember – YOU HAVE THE NAME OF OUR COLHOSE!”

Dear U.S. Senators, please include equipment for the production of borderstone on the sanctions list. thank you.