bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №152759
 07.08.2019
I am in line in the store. The man left his little son alone with the basket, and he went to look for something else. When the boy’s turn came, he shouted at the whole store: “Paaap, go here, the hour of payment has come!”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №152758
 07.08.2019
Do not go to predictors, communicate with pessimists - they have all the predictions more accurate.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №152757
 07.08.2019
It is even interesting, according to what laws, traditions or cultural characteristics, sometimes certain professions are closely related to representatives of a nationality. Here, for example, the Armenians, representatives of the ancient humanitarian culture, practically monopolized some, purely technological fields, shoe business, for example, or car service. And especially - body works (in common language - "hardy"). It feels like they know some secrets of this activity, coming from the depths of centuries! For the first time, I turned to these cousins of paint and metal a few days after I purchased my first personal car. It was an IJ-Combi, a product of the Izhev automotive industry, the car is reliable and strong, it served me for a long time. However, after the first trip on the rear seat, the wife complained that the door was blowing. The reason was discovered immediately: there was a huge gap between the door and the body. The instructions for the car were detailed, with illustrations, told how to adjust the door in this case (approximately like the door of the kitchen cabinet). Armed with a drill, I tried to do the necessary manipulations, but it wasn’t! Sitting on the paint, the screws sat dead. Having been tortured without results, I realized that it was necessary to turn to professionals, and went to the nearest "hardy". An elderly Armenian stared into the salon, surprised, said, “You have this hole here!” and left, throwing, “Wait here.” I expected him to come up with some unique tool that will help to cope with disobedient screws. The master came with a board, which he clearly raised from the floor. Putting the board between the door and the body, he pressed a couple of times and said, “Look.” The door fits to the body perfectly! “How many?” I asked, completely shocked. The master thought, and named the price of his service, one in ten times less than the amount I had prepared for such a complex and expensive repair.
Then I had to resort to the services of the masters of this profile several times, but I will tell you only one episode. Modern young car owners, of course, are not familiar with the phrase "Rise-Rise", and once for this adjustment there were special workshops. And with the penetration of the first streams of information technology in our country, such a miracle appeared as "Computer rally". Here in the institution with such a sign I once visited, and after a few days shared impressions with my good acquaintance Roman, a professional driver and, importantly, an Armenian.
"I come to the service," I tell, "there the masters, apparently Armenians, put the car on the lift, picked it up, and started doing something on the computer..." The novel raised the eyebrows: “Armenians on the computer?!” And he cut off, “It won’t work!” “Something was done on the computer,” I tell you, “then they took a cuvalda, and...” “Kualda was taken,” Roman resurrected. “It’s okay, it will work!”
Congratulations to professionals!

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №152756
 07.08.2019
Strange...When I say that the authorities are dealing badly with fires, they say to me, “Well, go ahead – go yourself and extinguish.” And when I say that a governor or a deputy instead of work carries a shit and obviously does not pull, nobody offers me to go to work as a gobber or a deputy.

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