xxx: I want to be a stupid cock, but to do that you have to pump.

My wife and I agreed to go to the cinema tonight. In the afternoon I was at work, she went to the salon. They were supposed to meet in a shopping center in a cafe. She turned from light to dark, and I walked around the cafe for five minutes and couldn’t find her until I called her on the phone. This is the best proof that I immediately noticed the change of hair.

I don’t understand vegetarians. An animal can get away from a person. Or to escape. Plants are defenseless.

A friend is a programmer, or rather, a database architect. He once designed the structure of a base for some German pro-government organization. Knowing of the rise of Western tolerance, he programmed them up to 10 parents per child and up to 40 gender options.

“You’ve gotten too old,” the Germans say to him. - Parents we have, as appropriate, from one to two, and the gender options are four: male, female, other and "not specified". But the base will not go anyway, we need to rebuild. The number of children is wrong.
What does it mean wrong?
The whole number.
What do I need?
It is fragile.

A friend’s roof was touched. 10 parents he could still poorly imagine. Dad, mom, new mom’s husband, new dad’s wife, two grandmothers and two grandparents – here’s already 8. But one and a half earthquakes, that is, one and a half children – this is, forgive me, how? One whole and one without a leg. Or do they consider 5 months of pregnancy to be 5/9 child?

It turned out, it was easier. German tax law. Each child is subject to a tax deduction, but if both parents submit declarations separately, this deduction is divided between them in half. That is, the child of a single mother is a whole unit, and if two parents are both working, then each gets half a child. And that database was related to taxpayers, so we needed such a county.

By the way, the notorious “parent number 1” and “parent number 2” are also invented not for gay perversions. Parent number 1 is the one to whom kindergarten or school appeals first in case of need. Usually this is the mother, but if, for example, the parents are divorced and the child lives with the father, then the first parent will be the father. And if, don’t give god, the father and mother died or are absent for another reason, then the parent number 1 may be a grandmother or an adult sister. A family of two mothers or two fathers also fit conveniently in this scheme, but such families are significantly fewer. Don’t look for a black cat where it isn’t.

And I would still check for any case - is there still on the reserve route our armored train? Or is it just reporting?

Xxx: My brother served in the army and a group of Muslim recruits were called there. They began to grieve that religion did not allow them to wash the floor. His brother went and took the Qur’an from the library and said, “If you are so religious, I will meet you. Whoever quotes at least half a page, the floor will not be washed.”

Everyone was washed in the end, because no one in this group remembered anything.

Xxx: A story from a familiar.

Her husband took her to the barber. I took it from the barber. brought home. He looked at her in the elevator and suddenly asked:

Have you cut your hair?

Xxx: I don't know how on the plane, but on the heatway if you turn on the light in the ruby at night, you can cover it.



Yyy : Why?



Zzz: by eblo

I worked in a beauty salon. The working day was until 21:00.We closed the room with a colleague, the time at 21:02, a couple: "Oh, you have already closed?"

“We work until nine.”

They look at the clock: “Oh, two minutes late! “” People were sure that at 9 o’clock they would be able to do it.



Yyy: I work as an administrator in dentistry. The same situation. Working until 16 in the weekend. And also with the scream “Successful!!!” They are at 15:55. Where did they succeed? The doctor left, I closed the box. I can record for tomorrow.



Zzz: Okay, remove the tooth – just one clearly placed hit... pieces for 3 seconds)