bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21184
 08.10.2009
I’m the best cooker in the city and I’m only 21 years old.
____________
How did you sweep the whole city with your borsche?

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №21183
 08.10.2009
The real embodiment of smiley O_o I saw only in the game "What, where, when", when Andrei Kozlov looked at the expert who gave the wrong answer they agreed on...

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №21182
 08.10.2009
Well yes. Love is when I look at you and I don't even want to fuck"
I don’t want to "take"!!!! to
----------
In general, we are sitting on a bench, next to the shelter, a person of 5 group members. Here one, the most concerned, says "Dim, do you want to fuck the Light?"", by Dimon it is visible that he is not on our planet, but he still answers "no". Here Svetlana snubbed what they say about her and with the words "ah you snubbed" tries to beat the snubbed (that puts blocks). Half a minute later, apparently, before her brain under her white hair, the meaning of the answer began to come and said "What????" begins to beat the poor Dima))

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №21181
 08.10.2009
Always impressed by the originality of the phrase demand,
But "Go fucking in the closet!!From my sweet sleeping girlfriend this morning it was too much...

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №21180
 08.10.2009
and zorgtard:
On the day of the fire...
Everyone was lying...
In our audience in the first party, the girl was sitting alone.
He means telling... and she is sitting still listening...
Then he approaches her... touches her hand and says:
"Warm is hot" o_o

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №21179
 08.10.2009
Near the house opened a meat store, the owner, the march, with humor.
There is a leaf on the door: bla bla bla mode of work, retirees discount 5%, cats - free. And below in clusters with small handwriting: only homeless, no more than 50 grams of meat slices per day for a cat.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №21178
 08.10.2009
Can you read on your lips?
YYY: I can
Electricity a bit.
yyy: "what do you have for travel?" "I see" "good" "is smoking?" "get headphones"
XXX: O_o
xxx : xd

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №21177
 08.10.2009
Happy Birthday to Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin!
Comrades, be kind, bring it to the top, he is a busy man, he only reads it=)))

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №21176
 08.10.2009
I went down the stairs here from the morning in the entrance, on the first floor of a bunch of leaflets scattered "Vote for........... (name, surname)!", elections soon in Luberc in the city Duma. Comparison with students.

Here the students during the session (I was) assure themselves: if the current would remain for the next year, I will not hit any more pairs and I will give everything in time.

But the deputies during the elections exactly also assure themselves: here is the current would remain for the next term, shit I will be, not a penny anymore from the budget.

This is how our country lives.

ITEN

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21175
 08.10.2009
One of my acquaintances, a tanker, stopped drinking in a very unusual way. One day he ate and fell from the stairs. I thought he had a shock, he was bitten with some pills. As a result, from the resuscitation he got into infectious, as from the pills he was poisoned. I ordered fruits and oranges, as usual. He did not leave the hospital. There was an allergy to oranges. Not knowing what to do, doctors prescribed antibiotics, which eventually hit the liver. Three months in the hospital. Happy end - to the question "Do you want to drink?" the person answers "Let you all go!"

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №21174
 08.10.2009
About the militia.
Played like in Dozor, who knows will understand, and ran into the territory of some dispenser, went there quietly. They were told not to make noise or attract attention, they found nothing, they went out. We stand thinking. 4 cars at 4 a.m. near the dispenser, someone with fanaries, everyone has notes, everyone is looking for a puzzle, here a police car is passing by, we are so quietly looking at them, we think all the inquiries will begin, here they are in the matyugalnik "Now what did they find?", we begin to smile, they passed by and turned, again in the matyugalnik "And we are not, we are all looking for". Here we are starting to roast.

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №21173
 08.10.2009
Sometimes yandex "such" begins to "suggest" when a set of letters in the search engine that you forget what he wanted to ask :)

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №21172
 08.10.2009
to this

Take a loan - feel what the monthly...

...and then quit and feel what a delay is...

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №21171
 08.10.2009
uDar'ka (22:27:44 6/10/2009)
I would not allow anyone with a member for 10 meters in the place of a man to my daughter.

Sprh (22:28:11 6/10/2009)
I would also with such a member would not allow anyone to my daughter, breaking even more unintentionally...

[ + 74 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21170
 08.10.2009
My former mother-in-law, in the midst of the last battles of my family life to pour oil into the fire, called my mother and said:
Do you know your daughter smokes?
My mother answered with a loud and quiet voice:
If your son were my husband, I would smoke.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №21169
 08.10.2009
>Your questionnaire must be open access. If you leave the FSB, go to the “I leave the FSB” group.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №21168
 08.10.2009
For many decades, women have made the same mistake: they wear the best clothes when they leave the house, and they change clothes when they return home.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №21167
 08.10.2009
to this:
The best friend of man is still a book, not a dog, because in a difficult moment a book can be wiped, but a dog is not.
and...
The secret of the popularity of Chihuahua dogs is revealed in the environment of glamorous blondes.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №21166
 08.10.2009
The less in your life of sex, the more beautiful girls are around.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №21165
 08.10.2009
I had to visit the concert of A. Gorodnitsky - the author and performer of his songs, and by the profession of geophysics, in his words, almost literally:"There was post-war time, there was a fashion for all the military, decided to go to Peter in the mountain (there is a form in the form of a uniform with pans), the mandatory catch then to enter the geophysics was a jump from a 3-meter trampoline, it should be noted that neither physics nor mathematics I loved. Climbing up on the trampoline, and standing up a little, I thought about it, realized that it wasn’t all mine and decided to turn around and leave with shame. But at the turn the trampoline bended under me, I slipped and crashed into the water, the jump was counted. So I became a geophysicist"

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