Did you know that elephants are the only animals that can’t jump?
So go jump and feel your superiority over the elephant.

Go for beer.
Who is coming?
You and I!
The final what?

Laughter is laughing, and now the number of robbery robberies may increase.
Imagine a man in a respirator enters the store, gets a gun, takes money and (!) Mixed with the crowd.

Happiness is the only thing that multiplies when divided.
*** by
(The Girl Without Complex)

Esoteric cryptoanalysis

[ the epigram ]
It is strictly forbidden to make any changes to network hardware configuration on Friday afternoon.


On the eve of the CUP celebrated someone's holiday (it is not excluded that even their own - the day of space troops), and the main character, let's call it.
Major, taking on the chest an officer-worthy dose, decided to strengthen information security. I changed the password. Fortunately, only one; for the rest of it was not enough, he fell asleep in front of the computer. The other day it turned out that the password was for access to the secret control key of one of the satellites, and that the new password the hero does not remember.

Also, Edak can’t remember the password. And the trick of the situation is that it is time to correct the orbit. The deadline is two days. After that, the satellite will be lost. For what all the CUPs are inherited by stars of astronomical scale.

Reported to local authorities. In principle, a satellite control backup key exists. It is stored in the famous "black suitcase" of the Chief of the General Staff. But it is far from him: three instances, three generals.
Everyone, of course, does not burn with the desire to get a hint for the captivity of the subordinates, so to overcome these instances in two days seems even less realistic than to get to the satellite on the sidewalks.

What you did not try to remember the password is useless. Even the code was broken. Where there! And time goes. One day before Dudley. And here I entered the CUP opera of the local UVD. From despair they attracted him to solve the task: “This is the worker! I forgot the password and do not want to remember it. Try to do something, you’re lying. We tried it, but it didn’t help.” As there was no other hope, the space troops took the help of the opera and gave him a card-blank. But in the souls of the tsupovs have already reconciled with the loss of the satellite and the upcoming starfall (from the drive).

Locked in the office with the unfortunate major, the opera began to work. When the staff of the CUP penetrated there in the morning, their eyes saw an epic canvas. Both – the space major and the police captain – lay under the table unconsciously surrounded by empty bottles. On the table was a pack of cigarettes, which was scratched the desired password. It was half an hour before the orbit was corrected.

In the courtyard at the entrance, the grandmothers are sitting on the bench.
Here, at the entrance, a rough jeep rolls, a new Russian comes out of it, sees the grandmother and begins to ride:
- What did you do, old wallets, at my entrance, in nature?
One grandmother answers:
What are you, my brother, about us? You do not respect old age.
I will complain to my granddaughter about you, he will not offend me.
What? what? What kind of granddaughter? A specific boy? So let’s get rid of it tomorrow, let’s do it. In short, grandmother, hand over your granddaughter, tomorrow at five in this place the gunman.
Okay, I will send you.
The next day, five jeeps and a brother come to the entrance, scattered around the courtyard, blocked the entrance, beats, machines, everything as required. A new Russian at the head of the brigade. The grandmothers are sitting on the same bench.
Grandma, where is your granddaughter?
Somewhere there. And who knows, I have a sniper.

and bor! I adore you! News, telephone do not look, there are all... but millions of good advice! Quotes that become part of life. You can continue indefinitely!
thank you!!! to

The Friday. The working evening. From the correspondence:

XXX is
Fuck the printing shit!
The Comrade!! Friday has arrived!
YYYY
What a Friday! The boss is roaring!
And the press is nearby!

How much do you earn?
I do not do nonsense!

XX: you are still working on the boom company
AA: I do not know
XX: Who knows?
AA: I am
A: But it’s not me now.
Ask tomorrow
The mystery of nature is me but not me.
AA: Just tell me tomorrow so that I don’t leave a sealed aska on the public compass.

I was hysterical in the morning...I saw the haishnik rolling his tail!
I go to the stop and through the crossroads stands this miracle, hands behind my back and a bush hangs on them. And he so methodically crushes her. And I’m standing at a stop, and people can’t understand what... and in the profile it’s even more funny!! It stands, shit, and it flaps...the money predicts...

The doctor said I had tracheitis
XXX: But I know I’m not tracheated.