On the news: "A leader appeared at the protest camp of long-distance drivers".
Long live the "Party of long-distance drivers".
Finally people who know how to govern the country will come to power!

XXX (21:00:15 7/12/2015)
It is nice to help people with kindness, and even more pleasant when people like it and they buy beer.

YYY (21:00:29 7/12/2015)
It is true, but if you look from the other side, you can sleep to the fuck.

XXX (21:01:05 7/12/2015)
I am not such a good person.

I am in the subway, waiting for the train. Well, I leaned to the pillar - tired after training. I don’t touch the phone, I just lean, so I’m standing. Here someone touches my shoulder, I turn – a policeman. In my astonished gaze, he says:

Are you okay? Then they climbed to the pillar.

I said everything was fine, I was tired. He smiled and said, “It’s good that everything is fine. Be healthy and a happy evening.” He went on with his police affairs. My heart is warm!

Every year I check the health in a regular clinic, naturally everything starts with OAK (general blood test), OAM and feces on the egg leaflet. So today I went to take all these tests, I stand in a line, here a woman of my age approaches me and asks to share the stool :)))) I was confused and refused at all, with the words: "I have the least!"

Depending on how people studied in school, they laid, laid or lie on the rules of the Russian language.

XHH: By the way, girls, and how much does a cup of a photographer cost, the one that is in the form of an objective?

Memento_mori: I have no idea. I drink from my skull. :D

The citizen has no living space. Where does she do? He probably missed it.

A genius of logic! "Man does not have his own fox. Where did he go? She probably lost it in the cards.

I definitely need to go to the government. I thought about how to supplement the budget. Pedestrians are ruining the trottoirs. And there is no pedestrian tax on them: Not to mention the Plateau system for pedestrians weighing more than 120 kg.

A man becomes a thief when he steals, not when he is imprisoned.

It is difficult for teenagers from Europe to travel through America: some do not settle in a hotel, don't rent a car, everywhere a "responsible adult" is needed. So when my son and his friends decided to go to a gaming club in Los Angeles, they had to take their mom with them. No, at first they didn’t want to take me at all, but hoped to persuade some older brother or younger relative. Yes, there are no such fools to spend money, holidays, and nerves on 17-18-year-olds.

They decided to fly without transfers to Las Vegas, rent a car there and go to LA and on the way to stop for a day in Death Valley. Arrived, rented the largest 4x4, as all the boys from 195 to 203cm in height. I wanted to see Vegas. I was already fortunate to admire this luxury made of plastic, so I immediately went to the outskirts to the supermarket to shop for a trip. We agreed to meet at the Venice Gallery. At the appointed time I will come and wait.

In "Venice" on the first floor are arranged channels, they float gondolas, and gondoliers ride customers and sing Italian songs. There are luxurious shops on both sides of the canal. And on this day, some temporary pots were attached to them, from which young sellers are trying to squeeze cosmetics from Israel to passers. Beautiful female girls, prominent guys, talk almost without an accent. Smiles to the ears, and despair in the eyes. Buyers ignore them, and the elderly senior manager turns his gaze.

I stand, wait for my guys and sympathize with these inexperienced sellers, because our children will soon start looking for work too. Feeling the diaper, the sellers leave their pots and just attack me: one is trying to move bags with samples, the girl starts rubbing, such as:
Have you heard of nanotechnology? We use only environmentally friendly nanotechnologies. Look, it’s written 100%, and it shows a scroll on the box.

But he surpassed everyone in an impeccable suit with a butterfly. He stumbled before me on one knee, took my hand and began to rub into it an unknown fig, from which the skin glittered like the feathers of the Hot Bird. Then he said that he wanted to determine my age, for which he got a spleen and looked carefully at the bags around his eyes (yet, they didn’t sleep for more than a day). Defined seven years younger than it actually is, ha-ha. Then skillfully whipped some cream around one eye, causing the skin to swell slightly, and the wrinkles stretched. For a long time he showed me the difference in the mirror. Then I began to forcefully squeeze into my hands the banks and boxes, accompanied by explanations and intriguing slogans. Two for the price of one, one as a gift, just for you, and so on. For eight products "total" $790, but from personal sympathy 750. Oh we escaped. This is a lot for a expensive broken brand, considering club discounts, but it is not even in the price.

I kindly say thank you, not need, and put all the nits back on the bowl. And then the shy unfortunate young man instantly turns into a chagrin, begins to pierce on me:
- I fell on my knees before you, took my hand, whipped an unknown fist, looked into the lump, determined the age, killed the cream, demonstrated the difference, now you are obliged to buy!
Everyone is boiling, not knowing that my young basketball players have already come, standing behind him and watching the trade process with interest.

Blinking the son (and he is not the healthiest yet), he takes the hint, takes a step forward and slightly embraces the shoulder of the shy seller. He asks loudly, with feeling:
Did he get on his knees before you?
Yes, my son, it was visible to everyone.
And took his hand?
He took my hand without request.
And an unknown spell?
“Tyral, the son, probably poisonous, still shines. And under one eye, too, thirsty chemistry, as much as half the eye floated.
"Mommy, honestly, don't be ashamed, maybe he, God give it, and the age determined you?
Yes my son. He said loudly, everyone heard it.

Well, and, looking at the seller, now you are obliged to marry her.
He looks around, sees everyone else, begins to blame something. Then the second guy, the healthiest, embraces him on the other side, and looking from the top down, calms:
Don’t worry, it’s Vegas. Go well, let’s go right away.
And an unexpected warmth in the voice:
You will be our new daddy!

How he fled!

If you go to Greece - do not forget to visit Mount Athos: from there there is a beautiful view of the villa of the son of the Prosecutor General of Russia Tchaika!

from boot_from_cd

Bead, by the way, a fun thing, there are two in one, bead right in the toilet. Such a crane, the stream from which hits straight into the ass. One morning, while I was sitting in great thought, Murene's cat came to me and managed to switch the lever. I will tell you, a stream of hot boiling water in your ass revitalizes the morning more cool than any coffee!

Q: Interestingly, will it be a great dish if you swallow a splashing pill and drink it with water?
WOW to survive. A bit of norm and norm.
Q: What if there are two?

The sins of not too competent translators have long been roaming the network, but recently I have come across a masterpiece, against the background of which even “I am a bee’s back.”

The main Hero, this modern Cinderella under the evil fatherhood, looking at the unfinished end of the work that he has to do before he has even the slightest opportunity to deal with his teenage affairs, declares in a completely neutral tone: "When I finish, let Mefuzela call me." Who was Mefuzela before, of course, was not explained.

We tighten the twists. We shake rust and dust from English and common sense, respectively... Imagine the written form of the name...Bingo!

The guy, pretending how much time he will have to kill to fulfill the assignment, throws in his hearts: "When I finish, call me Mafusail." Mauthausen, his mother An old man who lived over nine hundred years.

What was difficult was to strain the brain a little and just translate the phrase. Without any game of words, without internal rhythm, it is not the original English idiom, which would be worth translating similar, but Russian. Just translate the name of a famous mythological character? I don’t understand the movie translators.

Covered by History:

XXX: Epic Picture: The Brigade
Canals, one after the other
Down in the open
Channels in the background
Large advertising banner
"School of Da Vinci" )

I remembered the history of this event. In the automotive school I remember I was put on an old jiggull, the instructor said so to me, knocking on my shoulder: "You are not a noy, you will learn to ride on the road, you can eat on everything!"
The Da Vinci School knows a lot.

My wife thought about something for a long time, wrote something on paper, counted on a calculator, asked me how many days were left until the New Year. And then she suddenly asked, “What will you give me on March 8?”

I observed a somewhat interesting picture here: in the reception room of a big boss sits quite a young middle-class boss with papers. I see he is worried. Turn the pen. Then he starts turning it off, thinking of something his own. Soon in the clicks of the pen, I catch a familiar rhythm. Something kind, sweet, from childhood. Fuck what is that?
<xxx>Thanks to you!
<xxx>"We are not miserable bugs - super ninja turtles!"
<xxx> Oh God, how old I am!

Advertising is burning, especially if you sit with your back to the zombies
There is some kind of another cheerful moisture, our crushes are not ours, the main character of the machine machine guns the second hundred frags, bloodshed, gut, all the charms....and heads on a full coil of advertising - "Do what you like - with pleasure!!!!!!!and "

Sometimes I want to make a drunk orgy at home.
So to arrange. What disturbs you.
There is no money for vodka. And so is everything.

Collective vocal classes:

How to improve the diction?
You need to pronounce words clearly. Christine, tell me something clear.
- Pots, rails, hop-stop, seeds...