bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125239
 08.03.2016
The Head of the Regional Ministry for Youth Affairs shares with a friend:
This summer, the mansion under Vladimir completed, nature there is just waste! There are no people, the air is fresh, I will ride, rest my soul. The house in Spain took - or it was tired where it got to stop. The son of the younger in England was placed in a decent school, let the man be made of him, again the elderly will help.
Have you done anything for young people in a year?
I always care about young people. Recently, this little girl was dragged into bed - so twice in a row ended!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125238
 08.03.2016
It’s quite a strange concept that all sinners will forever burn in hell... in the sense of where is so much fuel in hell? Satan, what is Gazprom sponsoring?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125237
 08.03.2016
The prototype of the Sagittarius was a cowboy from the Dollar Trilogy, who is completely white.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125236
 08.03.2016
The elders gathered the young and long insisted on them:
It’s angry when you wake up at 15 a.m.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125235
 08.03.2016
About Roland from 'Tower'

He was either a black man or a Chinese, not mentioned in the book, but his eyes were clearly blue. This is the same characteristic trait as Peppi’s red hair or Rainbow Dash’s rainbow tail. Find an actor of a black race with blue eyes - yes, please

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №125234
 08.03.2016
XXX: How many goods?
It is 7 gigabytes.
xxx: gigabytes of hentai at 0.83 BTC.
YYY: I am buying it.

[ + 23 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125233
 08.03.2016
And here we in the universe... no one listened to the report, but we discussed the appearance and orientation of the speaker... "

But that says a lot about the level of the universe. If you are in an adequate state, what science is there in such a mud? Well, if you are not happy to join the discussion of orientation, canane.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125232
 08.03.2016
The inventor of email, Ray Tomlinton, has died.
by RIP.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №125231
 08.03.2016
One day my wife and I visited her parents. As a meal, we were offered a salad with midias. I don’t like them at all, and my wife refused, arguing that they look like female genitals. Her father replied, “Well, you have a different taste.”

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №125230
 08.03.2016
One day my father caught me with a cigarette and threw me out of the boat. So he taught me to swim on my back so that the cigarette didn’t get wet.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125229
 08.03.2016
19768 and all those who doubt what color the skin was in the Shooter. Let me ask you, have you read a book?
Read more carefully "excerpt of the three", and specifically, the episodes with the black Child Holmes. And count how many times she called the Archer and Eddie “white butterflies,” “white butterflies,” and referred to their “white butterflies,” and so on.
The shooter pulled off the scroll from his shirt—there were only a few lashes left of it, so it was no longer a pity—and stretched out his left hand to wipe out the blood from her forehead. She tried to bite him.
“A little bit, white-collar, you didn’t get it,” she cried out. I didn’t get it this time."
Are there other questions?

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125228
 08.03.2016
Once I was conducting a computer science lesson in the 3rd grade, I set out to draw a drawing on a space theme, during the inspection of the works I just chorned - the girl drew a penis, with all the attributes: testicles, black grooves, red head.

I strictly: “What is this?”

The girl said, “Racket!”

My first thought was, “Oh, that shit!”

The second thought: “Is it really a rocket?”

I put "5", with children of this age I try not to argue especially, only with affection

The director of the school comes in and sees the painting: “This is what it is!”

“The rocket...”

The director thoughtfully said, “ah... yeah... well, very beautiful... immediately seen – a rocket.”

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125227
 08.03.2016
The giraffe horse (although nobody claimed that the dog Leslie was played in the movies by the cobbels simply because the cobbles are more hairy and gentle) and the historical figure is not of the same gender - here it is understandable. But don’t try to pull this out of your ears for an entirely different occasion. But the world of the towers is a post-capapaleptic blend of worlds and times, where the hero can look as comfortable without any default setting.

There was such a characteristic story in fiction - two children sit in a sandbox, unexpectedly aliens land on the site. Only after the plot has actually ended, the reader is made to understand that these aliens - strange and strange to the eyes of children-heroes - actually looked like ordinary people, but the children were just exotic alien beings that people visited. Something like that at the end of the original "Planet of Monkeys" - there on the principle of "letters in a bottle" in space find the diary of the main character, then the main story - in the diary itself - and in the epilogue it is discovered that the ones who found the letter - intelligent monkeys, considering the story of an intelligent man someone's strange joke. A very characteristic indication of a reader’s mistake is to give characters the “default” qualities that were actually absent in the description.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №125226
 08.03.2016
Why is meat so pleasant and love so difficult?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125225
 08.03.2016
This is the day when I have more operations on my phone than on my computer.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125224
 08.03.2016
Email creator Ray Tomlinson has passed away.
Comments on 4pda:
xxx: of course, it is a pity that its life cycle has ended, but e-mail, I don't know, I'm probably going to blaspheme, it's from the series who first managed to do that and tapka, mail as a tool existed for several centuries.
I wonder, who invented the race? In fact, the goose is the world’s first ancient social network. The technology was so advanced that it absolutely did not require internet access.
XXX: There were problems with encryption and the ping was long.
yyy: and sometimes data transmission could be disrupted if the barbarians created harmful interference.
xxx: and the password for sending a message served as a strong royal "pitzduy".

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125223
 08.03.2016
As a child, I watched the cartoon "Hunters of ghosts", in which the hunters had a device to search for these ghosts. And almost in every series he had them "stacked". Everything could not understand why they would not repair it / repair it / switch it to show it normally.
What is the tension on the network?
The multimeter is shaking!! to
So what fucking thing did you turn it on at 200 volts? Go to 750.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125222
 08.03.2016
It happened to one of my colleagues. She was offered a hand and heart. Knowing the total load of the modern director of the school in the metropolis, otherwise as a miracle this story will not be attributed. However, the irony of fate is not at all in this, and it appeared immediately when submitting documents to the ZGS, where a tense mini-dialogue erupted between the employee and the potential bride.
Will you change your name?
You are what? I am the director of the school! I have an ECP!
In the tense silence in the eyes of the employee and the potential bridegroom hanged a silent worrying question. Instantly assessing the situation, the director-bride conducted the necessary instruction, explaining that the ECP is not a DCP or AIDS, but an electronic digital signature. Without which it is as if without hands, because it will not be able to sign any contract with suppliers of equipment and services, it will ruin the payment of salaries and a stimulating fund to teachers and school employees. Therefore, about changing the surname, with all the love and respect for the chosen person, there can be no talk. The applicant for the high title of the husband of the director of the school showed tolerance, and in addition, a subtle understanding of the modern specifics of management, although unlike the bride, the selection was not carried out through a demanding certification commission, designed to select worthy candidates for the replacement of vacant administrative positions. Another little miracle!"

Evgeny Yamburg

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125221
 08.03.2016
SJW No. 19768
Let us make a film about the horse of Prževalsky with a giraffe, or Peter the First let the woman play the game, and the monkey on the heroine is a fat man.
But imagine for a moment if a film about racial oppression is made with black oppressors and white slaves? Will there be a lot of war? First and foremost, from such fools as you.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125220
 08.03.2016
Everyone comes out and the birthplaces of socialism come out.
All, precious, it has already been and has passed, now learn "how you dive, so you dive", and for the result offend only yourself.

Socialism does not give man peace, just as it does to our director! He rushed to lead a scientific institution, "an effective manager," fucking, and everyone thinks like he would crush us all, because if you see fundamental science doesn't give him money in his pocket, and these ugly scientists are preventing him from silently spinning the budget, questions are asked at the directions, the rights are blown, the IRA is required to charge... He would be dismissed, and only the FANO binds his hands, and his shell office without the institute will be closed. He does not understand that institutions of this type function differently, and his problem (which will soon be ours) is that he lacks the brains to understand how to calculate the bone that is “effective.”
You understand, mill-man, work is different, and there are areas of activity in which the laws of the market do not work very well, and in our country, despite your super-popper qualification, you, if you are in this field, will be paid a penny. It is impossible to go into non-structures to do the same stupidly, because there are no such commercial structures. They are not even in the West. To some extent, the entire state sector lives under these laws. So no matter how much you struggle, as long as such bosses like you are managed, you will no longer break from it, unless you find work on the side, and this is, as a rule, a completely different kind of activity.

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