bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149588
 08.03.2018
This, and what about the long-short and satisfaction of the lady!!? It has nothing to do with it! If a lady just fingers can satisfy herself in a minute, and you chew on her for 10 minutes - do you still have illusions about the victoriousness of your member? The question here is generally about his questionable need in the process.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149587
 08.03.2018
The woman is in the nursery, the husband is eating in the dining room... how tired are they of these hands-free inconveniences, which cannot even survive 4-7 days without the slave labor of the woman! It is shameful! As long as??And at the same time, the men know that they are the best chefs, ah... only they can’t cook for themselves, not even for one barrel, not for a family.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149586
 08.03.2018
in a pornographic forum. Discussing the distribution of photos.

111. wallpapers are poorly folded))
by 222. Yes, they are normal, not new, but a difficult place))))
by 333. The wallpaper had to be sticky glued... a very strange approach to the sticking of irregularities, the edges had to be bended and cut at the sticking. Although I agree, a difficult place... requires experience.
and 444. In the wallpaper, the main thing is to choose them for a few days with a scandal between households. And then hang the carpets on the walls so that these wallpapers are invisible. The same thing.
by 555. In any case, a decorative layer had to be made at the corner to avoid turmoil. Otherwise, pornography does something. and :(

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №149585
 08.03.2018
Why didn’t you collect and take out the garbage?
Yyy: Who am I to decide what is rubbish and what is not, what should disappear from our lives and what should remain. I am just a piece of sand in the vast sea of life. A small, very lazy piece of sand.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149584
 08.03.2018
XXX: (calling the cat) Martha... Martha... Martha...
Why did you call the cat Martha? Martha is not a cat’s name.
Why is it not a cat, if we have a cat?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149583
 08.03.2018
My ex once told me he was spending too much on me because he was paying for me on the bus.

Do you know how much this costs in a month?? to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149582
 08.03.2018
I need both hands, there is no place to put the phone, I carry it with my palm. The ankle managed to remove the lock through the hood, go into the clock and reset the alarm at 2:17 at night.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149581
 08.03.2018
Today was the apotheosis of man’s logic. The team consisted of 6 men and 12 women, so for the celebration of March 8, men bought 1 bottle of champagne for all women, 4 bottles of vodka for themselves and 4 liters of juice for all. I was very surprised when champagne was enough for a toast, after half an hour the juice ended, and the gentlemen suddenly became nothing more to drink vodka.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149580
 08.03.2018
HH: And why did you take that I suffered? I am out with you, fools and fools, and nothing.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149579
 08.03.2018
What to do?

>>> where in the new series of Prostokvashino took the sister of Uncle Fedor, who is called Vera Pavlovna.

The creators of the cartoon in search of unexpected story moves reached Chernyshevsky, obviously.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №149578
 08.03.2018
Here they write about boys who like to paste labels of mercantile persons and data strawberries. My ex once told me he was spending too much on me because he was paying for me on the bus.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149577
 08.03.2018
There is a woman in the department and she is sick. A proposal to appoint
Call the neighbor!
Neighbors have one, and we have one. Congratulations to.
- Better order a prostitute and first greet her, well, give flowers there... and then, don't miss the good!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149576
 08.03.2018
Our lovely women! Congratulations on the vertical infinity!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149575
 08.03.2018
In comments to the film:

NothingGgg: Picaboo! Link to Russian Subtitles

I do not recommend listening to the original. It was the only time in my life that the sound just saved the movie.

NICKERGGGG: Let’s make fun of the sound. I am deaf.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №149574
 08.03.2018
by Kanesh! Living with another male in the nest and sowing an adopted egg is the same hierarchical trick as raping another male to demonstrate alphabetism)))

And in general, the fact is that birds are not mammals, so the parental instinct in them is not called asymmetrically to the female (when breastfeeding, the daddy with all the desire will not be able to be the child as close as the mommy, but in many birds and fish males equally, or even more actively female children are engaged)

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149573
 08.03.2018
>>>...Tools from tomatoes...

And where are the leaves of cucumbers, chrysanthemums from cabbage and carrots from carrots?
We need more variations!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149572
 08.03.2018
I want to work as a gardener where money is wasted.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №149571
 08.03.2018
"In our house settled a wonderful neighbor, whispered to my ear a neighbor. Not in the sense that they settled - they live for a long time, but in what they do. They are hackers. I even gave my father a certificate, he taught to hackers in the training center, and his son, a military, worked for the state.

Mentally, I laughed at a woman’s seasonal exacerbation and asked, “How did you know this?” - Yes, they say, the windows are open all the time and you can hear how and what they discuss, well, I checked all their contacts on the Internet.

I think, well things, I am an IB shnik and did not suspect such a neighborhood. He said goodbye, and at the same time it was itchy, barely arrived at work and began to check all the facts. And it is true: the father teaches information security on ATI courses, the son and the truth in the state structure is also engaged in security. Here in my head all the problems with the provider, the endless hanging of the provider's home equipment and other people's cables on the roof have folded into a single picture. Obviously at home, the Aichi family is “upgrading the qualification”.

Why hurt where you live? But military is a diagnosis, considering that both father and son studied at the same educational institution. So as soon as the unexplained problems with the provider network started, I started trolling. Should you be surprised that at some point on the microphone hanging out of the window, I heard a bustling discussion “he has a whole computer park there.” by Opanki. This is clearly about me. I doubt that someone else in the house has several simultaneously launched virtual machines running active networking activities on the computer. I need virtual machines for testing and it’s clear – it’s my job, but an IT specialist who is unable to understand that it can be virtual ones or even just a change of user agent?! to

More and more. Special software recorded attempts by the IB family to interfere in the network not only of the home provider, but also of individuals. If you are connected to one network device of the provider there are no problems not only to see your traffic, but also to control it, this will tell you even any schoolboy interested in computers. There is a huge number of special programs on the Internet, where it is enough to just press a button and choose a target with the mouse, without getting into the mechanisms of work and get the desired.

All my friends at work were devoted to the details of my home “adventures.” Periodically with laughter in the online mode we observed the next "colleagues". I will not hide: we have suffered greatly morally – our faith in military universities has disappeared and that at “Time X” the country will be safe, the degradation of the education system has become too obvious. There was a huge temptation to hand over the collected materials to the prosecutor’s office in order to free up jobs for smarter people.

The plan matures by itself.

Can I come to your house next week?
Yesterday was – my liver can’t stand so often, something happened?
Yesterday after drinking went to your bathroom on the site and when the clothes from his pocket was taken out, he knocked out the flash, and on it 20 bitcoins. I think the sack might get it.
and fucking. Loss of loss. I had to talk immediately. Okay, there’s my father now living in the flygel – I’ll warn him, we’ll go next week.
Approximately this conversation, I and a friend from work, took place in an unencrypted messenger from home and repeated repeatedly with clarification of place and time. There was no doubt that the Aichi family read this message.

In the meantime, Bitcoin has hit the 20,000 mark.

The next day at lunch, we sit with a friend in the dining room, having a quick conversation and wrapping up a wonderful naval borscht. A phone call from a friend. There is an exchange of replicas, then the theatre of the pantomima and a friend's borst begins to break out of the mouth, nose, tears in the eyes. After a few minutes apologizing and wiping out the towels, a friend tells.

Father called from the country: in the morning, an ascensor came and offered to pump out the variety for free, well, they have a free promotion for retirees. But you know my father. He said, on this street all retirees, my house is far from the forest. Start from that end. And what do you think - the fucking cleaners pumped all the sorties on the street and our sortier was the last...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149570
 08.03.2018
US hackers decided to influence the results of the elections in Russia, but for now they simply can not register on the website of public services.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149569
 08.03.2018
The Post of Russia - on my request on their website, sent _1.09.2017_, yesterday - 6.03.2018 came the answer "Your appeal is accepted and will be considered within the time limits established by the legislation"I will tell the children, maybe the grandchildren will learn! and ;-)

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