“Ironically”
What kind of shit? Why do people ask questions instead of writing funny quotes?

I love when I’m asked "How are you doing".
It allows me to preserve an illusion that I do not yet see.

It was yesterday)
Evening in communion. Arrives a duty practitioner (a girl of 25 years old) with a pritchëskaya, crushed in a Japanese manner with sticks. Students, full of spring moods, play:
And you are in the midst of it, and you are in the midst of it. The phlegmatic answer:
The main thing is that you do not touch.

If this is the case, here is "Bayan":
The scientists joyfully say to journalists:
We were able to neutralize several cancer cells in the tails of mice.
Journalists broadcast to society:
Scientists have learned how to cure cancer!! to
Scientists have corrected:
We have not learned how to treat cancer, but we have advanced in understanding the problem, to successfully solve it in the future.
Journalists broadcast to society:
Scientists have learned how to travel in time!! to
Scientists to journalists:
- Go to "***"!!! to
Journalists broadcast to society:
Scientists raped journalists!! to

Biology News: Good but bio. Illiterate tourists in Florida mistakenly drowned three rare turtles, accepting them as sea turtles and releasing them into the sea.
Zloradskij:...and also to death were charged with the tree of 14 ducks, taken by them for swollen by hunger ducks? I would very much like to send them a couple of crocodiles with a description of the "giant iguanas. feed with celery and pumpkin seeds".
Nika Oparina: "At the slightest manifestation of aggression, it is recommended that the iguana be hugged and hugged."

Elena: Throw out even hamsters, there prices start from 200 p, considering that the hamsters themselves stand right next to and cost from 150 p. It is easier to buy two hamsters and from one to make a camouflage or jacket.

The 16977 was very pleased. Especially - here is this passage: "If you were not loaded with your face in a dirty dishwasher accompanied by an empty stomach or did not put on your head a basket with dirty socks, going barefoot to the nearest store for new ones, then it is not you so clever and he is not such a cowboy. He just doesn’t profit from turning you into a farce right now."

It’s hard to understand where these characters come from. Many single mothers, happy owners of a son, flatter their bloodshed to disgrace, horrifying all the caprices. Did you buy a toy? You need to sink with your legs, swallow, and the son immediately runs to calm, buying the desired. Did your mother cook unpleasant cakes? It is enough to twist, knock on the fists, and it is better to throw a plate. And a caring mom immediately falls off her legs to prepare a smoothie for her favorite table.

Meanwhile, Masik is no longer embarrassed to use his fist, desperately hammering his parent's legs, accompanied by a fighting whisper of wrought auto-signalization. And that’s just the kind of fighting man grows up. And also pleasantly tells the girlfriends: "You will not play with my"!

And here comes the joy - Masic finds a girlfriend. Of course, she should take care of him, like a mom, collect toys for him, wash his socks and cook only his favorite nemoche. And almost not so - you can also drown your feet and knock your fists. He is the best in the world and the only one.

(Commentary to the Ukrainian note that there is only one type of cheese left in Russia)
X: If it falls in one place, it arrives in another.
So, all these exquisite cheeses will fill our Ukrainian table, which broke into the European market. Tomorrow I will get a salary and go shopping, I will buy half a kilo of cheese for the entire salary, and the Russians will not get a good deal.

Announcement in local newspaper
(All life and fate in one line)

"Apartment with Grandma"

In Bologoe fought the sellers of shaurma and shaverma

I heard on the street a dialogue between two young men in protective costumes and mud boots: "Prinkin, Katyusha recently had a delay! and oh! and what? At first I was so scared that I started looking for work. And then nothing, let go...

At this Easter, atheists can greet each other with the words:
Gagarin has flown!
He really flew!

by Lucky

You’ve finally gotten your chest.

Wake up the moderators.

Is it possible to make a samurai?
- It can, but why almost ready self-propelled device to spoil?! to

xxx: Passed the test on your psychological length of the member.
xxx: posted on the website
xxx: "Sorry, but we don’t have enough memory to output the number, please repeat it again"
YYY: The number Pi is not a number?

Judging by the number of hats on the hangover and the shoes under the hangover, I am married to a three-headed spider.

How is the bank?
He: They took tests of the kidneys, spinal cord and soul for a test to know how much they can earn for them :)
He signed a loan agreement.
I don’t give your brain to anyone.

Wardrobe or a member.
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Well, they gave you millions of money and told you to build roads on them. You can build these roads and continue to live in poverty, and you can unswervingly spend that money and live peacefully all your life as a human being and your children and relatives will be provided! Question: Which normal, sensible, reasonable, adequate person will choose the first option? If there is such a man, will you not consider him a fucker?
--------
Listen to it here. A normal, adequate and sensible person will build roads. Because he can see beyond his nose. Because he will know with certainty that after building roads he will not remain in poverty, that the return will be for everyone and personally for him too. Not as fast and not as much as if you slow down, but not one-time, but permanent.
And the most important thing to remember - to spend and spend on iPhones and Thailand every imbecile can, or rather only imbecile can. But saving and multiplying the task is not trivial, and a Swiss bank account can not do this. Money itself is not even worth melting, it becomes a value only by being invested in something, and roads are quite a good option.

I am persecuted by the illogical idea that they are the same people. In the city, they are on powerful SUVs meeeeedlennoo overpowering the careful “lightening police officer” (seems to be baptized while reading Our Father). And then they are transferred to puzzles, go out of town... and t-dams! Heavily rushing along the sides with tooth-breaking holes in the circumference of the traffic jams - and only a piece of dirt and small details have fun flying around.

The shortest joke of this week is the title of the news:
"House in New York could explode because of Ukrainians trying to steal gas"