bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №156115
 08.04.2021
xxx: In the middle band of our homeland (for example in the Pskov region) the salary of 40 thousand is really not easy to find.

Yyy: You just need to work on two jobs of 20 or four of 10, and it's not difficult to find it in any strip. Enjoy health, I am waiting for photos from the yacht and near my Maybach

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №156114
 08.04.2021
Since childhood, we have been told that before the law everyone is equal and that the rules are for everyone. But this is the only reason why the schoolchildren dressed up on the first floor, in a place specially dedicated to this, so as not to spread dirt throughout the school, and the teachers go to their office, leaving behind dirty traces. And in the dry warm weather, many teachers did not change clothes at all, but schoolchildren were still forced to wear a shirt, because these are the rules.

And then in the social science, I spoke about it all. To me, the teacher intelligently and with indignation explained that you are many, and teachers are few and so they can break some rules and there is nothing terrible in this and in general you are still a child, how dare you tick me with your nose.

It is clear that this can be said to be a harmless example and should it be outraged at all. Only when the next deputy beats a person, he also thinks, "well nothing terrible, I have beaten a simple person, what now to go to jail for this? Well not.”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156113
 08.04.2021
We are not allowed to predict how our word will react.

As the children discovered with horror where the meat dishes came from, they had to convince them that all the broilers, calves and pigs live a happy and fulfilling life on the farm, and only by throwing off the straw from old age, they become food.

A couple of years passed before the first funeral - the smallest beat the mother-in-law with a sincere question: "When will grandfather be in the cocklets?"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №156112
 08.04.2021
When my wife left, I was sad at first. But then I got a dog, bought a motorcycle I’ve always dreamed of, and finally struck the neighbor who I wanted for a long time! Life immediately improved, only now I think that when my wife comes back from work - I p@deac...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №156111
 08.04.2021
It happened yesterday in the local Fifth and like that it burst into the soul.

I stand at the box, from cheese products and a bottle of wine. I am 90 years old, but I don’t look at my age at all, so I’m still asking for a passport.

I don’t look 17 years old, but I’m still young.

It is my turn, I get my passport on the machine and show the cashier.

He looks at the passport and me and there is a funny dialogue.

So you’re nineteen, why should I look at the passport?

I’m always asked, I look young, I’m used to it.

So you can move a little, it’s time.

It was so sad (

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №156110
 08.04.2021
It’s hard to get up from your knees with your ears in the shit.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156109
 08.04.2021
Yesterday I met a friend of my school years at a restaurant. I finished the meeting at work, sat down with me, talked for a few hours. A busy story:
Three years ago we moved to a new apartment. Money was in general, the wife only gave birth to the second, with hard work, mortgage - you understand, not to fat. The eldest son, a 10-year-old obaltus, loves to play compass and does not like to read. Therefore, the constant desire to buy the unit is stronger. Because of the lack of funds, all the houses have to be cut to the root. As it was a bad mood - the contract broke, and the son began to noot again. I tell him:
No money, not at all. If you find money, I will buy a notebook.
Where will I find them?
How do I know? Look and you will find. Or make money.
How is?
You don’t read books, you don’t know. So it is all written.
Well Dad!
Dad is busy, the conversation is over.
(The apartment was bought with some furniture and some books also remained, our ones we also added)
The next day I see the son riding in books, reading headlines, looking through.
Maybe I’ll like it, I think I’ll start reading at least.
I sit in the kitchen and suddenly I hear the cry:
Dad, Dad, I found the money!
I jump, I see a happy son with a book on nuclear physics (!) Two banknotes of 500 euros.
Where did I find?
In the book!
In this one?
and yes!
There is no pause.
Why did you study nuclear physics?
You said, look in the books, I was looking.

The laptop was eventually purchased. The book is from the previous owners of the apartment.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №156108
 08.04.2021
From one store ordered chicken with delivery to the house, and from another store - eggs.
Let’s see, let’s see...

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