bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63959
 08.05.2012
On the occasion of the granting of the royal title to Urfin, a grand national celebration was appointed. Knowing that none of the inhabitants of the city and the surroundings will voluntarily appear on him, the chief commander and General Lan Pirot took their measures.

On the eve of the holiday, at night, when everyone was asleep, the dumbom went through the houses. They woke up the inhabitants and dragged the half-sleeping to the palace square. They could sleep there or stay awake as they wanted, but they could not leave.

And so, when Urphine in the luxurious royal mantle appeared on the balcony of the palace, he saw a huge crowd of people on the square. The fluid cries of “Ura!” — these were the cries of Urphin’s accomplices and the wooden soldiers.

[ + 11 - ] [9 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63958
 08.05.2012
Wire, crying suckers and other eyeglasses, with all the forces of the world from all the wide Russian pure soul I cursed you!!! Humorous website that has never broken (see. The p. 1) really cool jokes, embarrassed by their crap like a toilet in a public toilet! Burn in the hell, you wretched ones!! to

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63957
 08.05.2012
When I go shopping with my daughter, she chooses what to do, and begins to open the package, I always stop her...I say wait, first you need to give the aunt at the box office, it will pay, and then you will open. And this is the same "thete on the box" she perceives in one word. Suitable stretches the cashier his snacks and says aunt Nakassa give a pack))))

[ + 29 - ] [30 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63956
 08.05.2012
The husband has been hanging over the plate with dinner for half an hour, sitting in the screen of the monitor.
I (fifth time): Let’s eat, finally, or it’s all covered with ice.
Why do you prepare a cold dinner?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №63955
 08.05.2012
I stand in the hallway and explain to a friend where to find one of the 8 masks (Skyrim). The teacher heard. And Mary asks, are you for the Brothers Bury or the Emperors?
She said that so far for no one, or he believes that Talmore is only doing the best for Skyrim, will still fall on the exam...

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63954
 08.05.2012
"peugeot", "renult"... You are about "chrysler" still remember!

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63953
 08.05.2012
There was such a Soviet historian of Communism-Leninism Members. I remember coming to the library, I went into the shelves, and there was a whole regiment of members of members of members of members of members of members.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №63952
 08.05.2012
We sit, we eat, the background is the First Channel, the broadcast about lies. The easiest way to catch a man on a lie is to ask him if he is faithful to you. If a man answers, "Yes!" and at the same time shakes his head negatively, then he is a liar. Mom immediately asks Dad:
Are you faithful to me?
Father immediately:
and a-a! He shakes his head decisively.
Rushed three.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №63951
 08.05.2012
by 111
Oh, what, brothers, the torment
What a shit, a shit.
I write poems without meaning.
I have no brain.

by 111
"Vladimir Mayakovsky liked your comment" - I have never been so close to a heart attack

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №63950
 08.05.2012
Relocations in the community:
We need to relocate you.
Me to my neighbor, or her to me?
J: I don’t care. You have a hole, it has a hole.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №63949
 08.05.2012
xxx help me

xxx installed windows 7 32 bits 2 times, but I still have 32 bits and I need 64

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63948
 08.05.2012
Nataly :
Lady of Egeia

The Light:
What hope?

Nataly :
two bottles of martini, 10 thousand hryvnia, a man with a big pitch and a trip to Gagra

The Light:
Let me tell you, Gaga?

If there is a bubble/bubble/bubble

Nataly :
The word is rugged and I have never been there.

Why are you so drunk and happy? And I am "SGGGR, fucking!"

The Light:
OOOOOOOOOOOOO! It is five)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №63947
 08.05.2012
Rita: I had a music teacher in the 1st class, she had strabismus. If we sit down and get angry, she will look at one of us so closely, and she will say, “Well, out of class!”
Everyone came out.
Valentine: What is it?
I was looking at who she was looking at :(

[ + 34 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63946
 08.05.2012
Commentary on News:
Only with UEFA permission can an animal be transported to the Euro 2012 stadium.

If they don’t let me go with Behemot, I won’t go.

[ + 18 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63945
 08.05.2012
Life succeeds if the truth causes positive emotions!!! to

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №63944
 08.05.2012
Last summer was the case. My husband and I went on vacation in the village of Kratovo. To the country for free attached the cat Frosia - the perfect cat creature: hairy, beautiful, affectionate and independent. The landlord explained that Frosia considers the country a native home and regularly runs there if you try to take her to the city. So we were left with a bag of cat food and a strict order to call the owner if Froya disappeared from sight for more than two days.
One dark, rainy evening, while Frosia stared at something in the corner of the veranda (invisible to us, but cats are special creatures), my husband and I talked about household and other rural impurities. So well talked that I did not close my eyes all night, and the visit to the "comforts in the yard" in the morning was accompanied by my husband: one was to tears scary.
The morning began. One of my eyebrows disappeared from the trumbo on the same veranda: I put the jewelry in the trumbo dish every night and remembered exactly that yesterday both eyebrows were in place. The man cried out from the room: Didn't I take five hundred rubles from the chair at the bed? He put them in the evening specifically to go to the tank.
For two weeks, the most unexpected things disappeared from the house. I missed the bus, the flash and the begun wrapping, the husband - the headphones and the maika. Evil was finally revealed: what was always placed in the same visible place was lost. And Frosia continued to focus on looking at the dark corner of the veranda, which terribly annoyed us. Regular reading of the crypasta from the note only poured oil into the fire.
Here is the departure. We drink tea with the housewife, she invites you to come again, the husband laughs about the housewife... and the housewife, shouting with her hands, shouts, “I didn’t tell you!” He runs to the comforts of the yard. There on the reverse side is a warehouse, where garden tools and all kinds of old clothes are stored.
On the floor we found a whole treasure. Paper notes are blurred, but whole. These are hairstyles in which I only recognized one of my own. Cushions, small bulbs, torn paper, clothes, including the husband's maid, headphones, beads, missing earrings and flashes. The bandage was also found, although it was no longer suitable for continuation. Of the unrecognized things for some reason especially remembered rubber pops.
The perfect cat Frosia suffered from a strange type of kleptomania. In the warehouse she really had a treasury, where the thief dragged everything he looked at. By what signs, in addition to the ability to take away in the teeth, things looked Frose, is a mystery. But the greatest weakness she apparently fed to hair rubber and paper, including money.
The hostess apologized and suggested that Froya should have been born forty, out and color suitable, but something didn't work out.
I will never forget Frosie’s gaze over the ruined treasure house.
If this year I can remove the same landscape, I will bring her rubber and paper and lay it out in prominent places. Take a kleptomaniac. It should be in the perfect cat to be... hm... a glitter.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №63943
 08.05.2012
It is not so difficult to love a goat, it is difficult to raise seven goats alone.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63942
 08.05.2012
I don’t like to get up early.
I fall from the sofa.

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63941
 08.05.2012
Chat WoT

McQeen95 - SUCKAVYBAILYBALYWHEREWHAT ALWAYS FALLS A NUBE COMMAND????! to
Charge – is 95 the year of birth or IQ? and :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №63940
 08.05.2012
Until I was 18, I thought Persian carpets were made from the wool of a Persian cat.

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