bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №150222
 08.05.2018
I was once in the centre of our glorious city. As it was in the evening in the day, the traffic was just wild. And here, first I heard the cries, and then in the rear-view mirror saw a flashy beacon. The DPS car rushed through the block. Of course, everyone tried to miss it, but it was difficult to do so. I turned on the turntable and started to take the right, and the driver was in the meantime already one car before me.



In the back was a young girl in a little white Peugeot. I don’t think girls drive worse than men. For example, my wife was a great driver, but she was clearly an inexperienced girl driver. She tried to rebuild to the right and stunned. Meanwhile, a number of the right touched and there was no room for it. She tried again. The car shattered, stopped sharply and stung again. The girl grabbed her head, switched on the emergency, drove the car, turned off the emergency, turned on the left turntable, grabbed - turned on the right turntable. And then from the speaker of the DPS car sounded:



The driver of the black Ford stops in the middle row. The girl in the white Peugeot calms down. It smoothly releases the grip and at the same time smoothly presses the gas. Carefully rebuilt and free the road to the DPS car.



Everyone around smiled. I let the girl in, and I too.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №150221
 08.05.2018
I heard this story yesterday from the head of a large social institution.

There has been a competition for professional skills for disabled people. A major official from Moscow summed up the results of the contest for cities and mocked those who did not participate in the preliminary stages.

A representative of one of the cities took the floor. He long and detailed how the preparation for the contest was carried out, what resources were used, how the participants were selected, etc. Everything is beautiful and detailed.

Finally, the President asked him:

Did you have a competition in your city? ? to

The representative was a little upset and replied:

No, no, the money was not enough!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №150220
 08.05.2018
He worked as a sales consultant in a shoe salon. A family couple with a child aged 4-5 years. A wife with a son in a female department, a husband in a male department. I advise a man on shoes, then a small man runs to him and screams at the whole store:

Dad, and Mom loves you!

The father cried out and asked:

I know. Let it take.

A wonderful family.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №150219
 08.05.2018
12 people work in our company. work in the office. Dress code as such is absent, but once a month we hold a meeting with the whole team + with us two companies of our partners and, of course, on this day everyone needs to look presented: a suit, a tie, shoes. Often I heard how colleagues expressed dissatisfaction, said the nafig these dresses, still everyone does not care who how dressed etc. In general, it seemed difficult for people to wear a classic costume once a month.



We have a cleaner, washing the floors and taking the garbage every morning, an hour a day. He himself came from Tajikistan, before he was a jeweller, but a few years ago the doctor advised him to give his eyes a rest, so that it would not get worse, so he came here. But it is not about that.



One day on the meeting, he called a colleague in charge of cleaning and asked if there was anything wrong if he came in his shoes. Of course, he was told that he could come in anything. And as it turned out, he was all the time looking at the information board the date of the meeting and wearing a white shirt, pants and shoes. We noticed it, but did not attach much importance. And he believes that this creates the right impression of the company. In general, after this incident, absolutely no one has ever been upset about the appearance on the day of the meeting. And that day he just broke his heels on his shoes.



This is awareness, this is responsibility.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №150218
 08.05.2018
Servants of the people, who as a child dreamed of becoming astronauts, today live on another planet.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №150217
 08.05.2018
I wonder, and does the leopard know what he looks like?
The leopard has gone, the cows have gone, the leopard has gone, the leopard has gone.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №150216
 08.05.2018
Recently I learned that natural pearls are dissolved in vinegar, and fake pearls cannot be dissolved. In this regard, the question arises: to rejoice the person who learned after the check that the pearl was natural or to be upset?

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