bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №157998
 08.05.2022
She works as a pathologist. He takes pictures on his personal phone. Well, her iPhone on one day put similar photos in one memory (a kind of gallery of slides on the subject) and put on vibrant music.

After that, the girl removed the work photo from the phone)))

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №157997
 08.05.2022
I lay on my bed, my wife was dusting. The dog is afraid of the noisy vacuum cleaner, lay down on my side, found protection. I calm her, I calm her. The wife finished, went to another room.

I, slapping, the dog: “Well, don’t be afraid, the horror has gone.”

The woman from the next room: I’ll be back now.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №157996
 08.05.2022
After turning the hooks, you can wrap the screw.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №157995
 08.05.2022
I gave my child a balloon for the day. Now sell such - large, shiny, of different shapes and colors. Our was in the form of some cartoon "live" machine - a huge, dark blue with bright white eyes and a stupid smile. Under the bandage, filled with helium, the ball hung boldly, supporting the ceiling, and rattled on us from above with large eyes, twisted. However, a week later, the helium from it slightly digested, and the ball changed its orbit. Now he was hanging in the air approximately at the level of an adult’s head. Driven by unknown air flows, the foolish car slowly moved from room to room, drawing a rope on the floor and irritating the cat. Everyone quickly got used to it and stopped noticing it.
I wanted green tea late in the evening. A large bowl of honey and lemon came into me like a dry ground. I complained about this stomach at three o’clock at night when I woke up for a natural reason. I dreamed of something interesting, I didn’t really want to go, but where to go... I decided to do it by the method of “half-blowing”: I went to the toilet with half-closed eyes and didn’t turn on the light. Our sanus is combined and quite spacious. I stumbled inside, stumbled upon a cat’s bowl and realized that in such darkness I was still not very comfortable. Above the shell in the mirror there was a built-in dim lamp, the light of which was barely enough to illuminate this mirror. Practically the night is what needs to be! I stretched out my hand and touched the switch.
Suddenly someone touched my shoulder.
Not strong, but quite tangible.
I suddenly sweated, my stomach was not good. I raise my eyes to the mirror - something big and black moves over me from behind and looks straight into my soul with terrible white eyes.
This is where I almost did everything I came to, with over-execution of the plan.
With one jump, I found myself behind the threshold and turned on the light. I threw out the flying paddle into the corridor, returned to the shell, splashed on the face with cool water... I stand, I look at myself – this is an adult man, and the heart is beating, the hands are not listening...
As in that anecdote: "I understand that this is Bobik, not a bear, and I can't stop fucking..."
I did not sleep until morning.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №157994
 08.05.2022
That forty-five is a beautiful age, you only understand at sixty.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna