bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №124179
 09.02.2016
1954 to be burned.

And here’s another thing: I think it’s impossible to live to at least 15 years without realizing that the absolute majority of people are fools.

Hopefully when you’re 16 you’ll realize you’re one of them 😉

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124178
 09.02.2016
War and Peace (2016) is a British television series by Tolstoy.

When is Season 2 coming?

Yyy: Ask Leo Nikolaevich when he will write the sequel.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №124177
 09.02.2016
Today one student gave me a report with 95% uniqueness. I read, the text is very connected. No matter what. And the child is like a couple to a three. Here is this!
Suspecting him in the writing will not come out. I was sitting there, writing, writing on my laptop.
And he tells me, “I wanted to cheat your system and I cheated!”
I am asking him. I will give you five, once. How is?
Well he admits: "I found all the material for the report. I read, tried to understand and imagine, and then I wrote in my own words"
Fuck, I say N...! That’s exactly what I wanted from you! In trying to fool me, you only did what I wanted!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №124176
 09.02.2016
(Prehistory: when it is blasphemous, it calls it "Crocodile" and others. His name is offended.

She: If I call you crocodile, you can say: I hear from crocodile!

He: This is not my level.

and pause.

He: I am familiar with this concept of forming answers.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №124175
 09.02.2016
My parents often told me, “Here will be your children, then you will understand.” Judging by the fact that I am not all married, but I have already begun to understand something, somewhere my children are still growing up...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №124174
 09.02.2016
Everyone is in charge. li. Go on, let them quietly swim. I read and forgot. (Such as this post)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №124173
 09.02.2016
I am going, and two girls are talking in front of me. I heard only one phrase:

You are so smart, you can’t pretend stupid.

Take the phrase on armor.)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124172
 09.02.2016
Discussions about the unmanned cabin:
xxx:And the topic with the usual road in the countryside has not yet been unraveled, when in the summer such as asphalt is quite normal, and in the winter three tracks, so if you meet a car, someone has to get out on the side :)
yyy: All about three tracks is simple, drone - a reinforced kamaz, the Indian sheriff's problems are not concerned)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №124171
 09.02.2016
There is power, there is no mind:

and Herakles:
Drawing a screw...
This is what I meant, always concrete screwdriver drilling.
And the fact that the drill that drills where it hit will still damage the wiring, and push the fireworks until the moment of switching on the block does not bother you?? to
and
Sho, iron concrete overlay with the same screwdriver drill? Strong, you will say nothing. I don’t even have a wall like that. With a perforator, yes. There is only a shovel to shovel there.

I immediately remembered the joke: the buyer brings the gasoline to the store with a claim for low performance - "in the passport it is written that in an hour you can spray 5 cubes of wood, and I do not get more than two". Seller: "now check", filled gasoline, pulled the starter. Buyer "and what is it?"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №124170
 09.02.2016
I want to open a bar and call it "Peace Dublin".
WOW why?
The question is, “Where are you?” and “Where are you?” and “Where are you?”
English: Dublin is pronounced Dublin
Issue of the Issue (

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №124169
 09.02.2016
zzz: The Russian Orthodox Church will build in Paris a “spiritual and cultural Orthodox centre” worth one annual budget of Omsk.

In general, lately everything in a row is beginning to compare with the budget of Omsk. The cost of a tank biaton, one day of war in Syria...

I propose to create the Omsk Budget Standard and place it in Switzerland. I think he’s already there somewhere ;)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124168
 09.02.2016
Benya, you unite and unite the people against yourself.
This is internet scans. It is worth it to be in the room—everyone rushes to catch it and drive it out.)))

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №124167
 09.02.2016
One woman appealed to the court, demanding compensation from the hospital. According to her, after her husband returned from treatment, he completely lost interest in sex and to her as a woman. In their excuse, representatives of the hospital that they had performed an operation on the eyes and restored the patient's vision.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №124166
 09.02.2016
The pension fund asks:

Do you have a personal office?

- We have a three-room apartment, but there is no personal office! - not a gram of confusion, replies the aunt.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124165
 09.02.2016
From Habr:

>>ivansychev: Idea for a startup: artificial intelligence for phone sex. I wonder, is there already?

>>tyomitch: Dating sites are already filled with bots a little less than entirely.
In order to depict a woman’s reaction to flirting, a lot of intelligence is not needed.

>>ivansychev: Not about flirting talk. Something more intimate.

>>Maccimo: Is it about pairing programming?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №124164
 09.02.2016
Comments on Router:

X: Thank you for sharing! Everything works great :)
Thanks to Rosemary :D

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №124163
 09.02.2016
When I was in the seventh grade and my brother was in the third, we had to live with my aunt for a year due to family circumstances.

My aunt lived in a small military town. It was not formally closed, but was located quite deep in the forest, so that there were almost no strangers there, every new resident was an event, and theatre, cinema, circus, which were not there, the locals replaced with gossip. They tweeted about everything, starting with the children in the upper group of kindergarten and ending with honorary colonels.

In general, three days after our arrival, everyone in the city already knew that we were in fact no nephews, but extra-marital children, whom Sophia Aleksevna’s husband walked on the side, and she (a holy woman!) Accepted in family!

By the end of the year, the whole city was solemnly convinced that Sophia Alekseevna was a holy woman, but a bad wife, because the husband of a good wife would not walk, and her husband - well, not without weaknesses, of course, but a good man, the children were not abandoned.

I still don't know why nobody came to mind that my brother and I are both a copy of my aunt (she's my mother's sister, they can be confused to this day) and Nordic blondes, and my aunt's husband is an ethnic Armenian with a corresponding appearance...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №124162
 09.02.2016
Many years ago, as a student, I participated in some of the Olympics in Fisheh. We were sitting in a large audience, and between us was a girl with a deep decolt and putting all the seals on the pass. When she passed through the entire audience and bowed to each and every one, she asked, “Is everyone worth it?”" It was difficult to solve tasks after that.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №124161
 09.02.2016
user_no_name: It is better not to joke with hamsters

A117: Wild hamsters like honey eaters. by Pocher

Platoon-nn: Well, I don’t know, my cat in the country only caught them for a while.

Removemudaktor: And all because they had a pooh.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №124160
 09.02.2016
With regard to unmanned camouflage...

Previously they were untouched, and now they are untouched.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna