bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №153762
 09.02.2020
Since childhood, she has cut off men from her family: father, grandfather, sister’s husband, boyfriends, husband and even mother (who has a short haircut).

I am not a hairdresser. It all started with the fact that my mom came from the hairdresser and on the back of her head, instead of a smooth transition, there was a leash. Mother handed the chest, the scissors we stood at the stall and under her sensitive guidance I aligned. My dad saw it and so I became a family barber.

And if I liked this process before, now I try to get rid of it. I bought a machine and shaved my husband when he baked. Sometimes, without warning, the swocker comes and no matter if I am busy - you need to cut.

And one day my husband (I am at work) calls me and says that my dad came and my husband had to cut him for the first time.

“Well, like a haircut,” I asked.

“That’s not to ask anymore,” the husband replied.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №153761
 09.02.2020
Pride is when you want to humiliate, pride is when you don’t want to humiliate.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №153760
 09.02.2020
The touching footage was captured by amateur photographer Anil Prabhakar from Indonesia when he was on a safari with friends.
In a forest reserve on Borneo, the orangutan noticed a man standing on his chest in the water in some pit, and literally stretched out a helping hand to him.
Orangutang stretched out a hand of help, and Homo sapiens photographed and lamented.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №153759
 09.02.2020
Sometimes you sit in a hunting bush, in a taiga, to the nearest home 100 km. You decide on the satellite phone to check the mail, and there comes out the advertisement of the type “Real Dating. Larisa, 30 years old, is 400 meters from you.” And you scratch, for some reason you look out the window and check the doors on the door...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №153758
 09.02.2020
We had a botanist at school, Sasha. He loved studying and was constantly on the computer. But not games, but interested in his 3D graphics, photoshop and programming.

The classmates reminded him that he was shouting and began:

- Let me write off the house, and we will walk in the courtyard, go to the gym, hang on the turnips. Do not give. We beat.

He was weak, so his notebook went all over the class. He was most affected by the athlete Vanya, who went to judo. Once there was a physics Olympiad at school, and I was there, Sasha and Vanya. And then Vanya turns to him when the teacher came out and says, "I did nothing here, let's exchange. Or do it to me.” Sasha objected, said, this is an Olympics, here everyone shows their knowledge. So this goat stood up and started beating Sasha, hitting him with his fist in his shoulder. The teacher soon came in.

After the Olympics, Sasha did not go to school. This villain after the end of the Olympics caught him on the street and struck him with his leg on his face. These are the mental Olympics.

Eventually, this Vanya got him so much that he moved to another school...

It’s been many years since I met Vanu, and he says that Sasha has settled into some IT company and became the head of the department. Vanya learned about it, learned what kind of work there, and wanted to cut out there with a sysadmin: "And what, shake up, you play dance all day, only if the network worked, and I am working here at the building, my back is already hurt." And Sasha calls, and says, set me up for work, as no, we are classmates. Naturally, he was sent, and I was offended by saying this:

- Well, we were children, I will not beat him anymore, and he, ugly, does not help, I asked him for good.

He concluded his speech like this:

- I did not beat him a little while, once such a bastard grew up...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №153757
 09.02.2020
Today in one of the shopping and entertainment centers was a witness to the following picture - the girl-cassor of one of the fast food restaurants shouted the order number "B6" on the whole football court, and from somewhere from the other end of her in response - "Injured!“”

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna