bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113188
 09.05.2015
The harsh Kamchatka...

On the channel of the local cable provider on the day showed the next "masterpiece" from the local "feeds of bonarchuk". With a screenshot with the title of the film "TICHIY OKEAN" I would still be accepted, but here in titles (Suddenly!!!) There were two surprises. The harsh Kamchatka domestic producers have invented two new professions: a sound designer and (here the orchestra plays the tuš!!!) The colorist!

Maybe it’s time to get out of the country ?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113187
 09.05.2015
Former mayor of Kiev about the age of the city:

When we went to the UNESCO Council, which was to resolve the question of the age of Kiev, we had data that Kiev, Kiev Russia – 2700 years old... I spoke a lot and proved. But UNESCO scientists have been constantly rejuvenating us. At some point, Patton, who was with me, said, “Valia, agree for 1500 years, otherwise they will make it even younger.” And I agreed", Zgursky told us.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113186
 09.05.2015
I walk down the street, a drunk man next to me thinks loudly:
“Now I’ll get up, either my daughter, wife, or husband will open... Stop! So who am I?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113185
 09.05.2015
Falkowski: Did you watch the parade? The best selfie stick is the T-90 :))

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №113184
 09.05.2015
XXX: Photography is what or who? And what/who is it?
Yyy: So physicists gently, lovingly call the quantum of light - photon. Such are the glamorous, cosmetic physicists... Mesonchik, Barionet, Quartzhenko.
What is a charming quark? and :)
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY Like the charming Billy.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №113183
 09.05.2015
In 1745, Empress Elizabeth Petrovna, while in Kazan, issued a decree: "To find in Kazan the best and largest thirty cats, suitable for catching mice, and send them to St. Petersburg. If someone has such cats to convey under fear, otherwise, a fine.”
What a beautiful thing :)
The Empress Googled the Cats
xxxh: and most importantly, the good thing is: there would be no babla for cats to promise - she does not eat, she promised to take the babla from those who will not give the cats ) all the power in one decree )

The authority holders sincerely believe that the poor for honor will honor to render them a service or work for free.
It is still so.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №113182
 09.05.2015
I am looking for perfume. Polystyrene of all kinds of forums and reviews... I shudder when in the description of the ghosts is written, said most users hear in it notes: Pitosporum, Leaf of the Brazilian Banana, the Secret of the Genetics and the Tzuga Tree. But here the Tsuga Tree, you know, gives a little of the flowers of Kalamus...
Fuck, I don’t even know what it is. And in the spirits they hear and distinguish.
Whether I’m a fool (I’m afraid of the banana leaves, honestly), or is the TP really playing in the ‘elite’?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113181
 09.05.2015
Results of the match Latvia-Germany:
This bottle is no longer in milk, it is simply in kefir!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113180
 09.05.2015
In our time, if a person has worked hard to switch the layout to write "P.S." instead of "ZY" – it’s very serious.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113179
 09.05.2015
Name your name.
The black coat.
Type of occupation?
Horror flying on the wings of the night.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113178
 09.05.2015
I bought fitball. The husband has been balancing on him on his stomach for 10 minutes, trying to stretch his hand forward, and shouts “I’m a superman.”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №113177
 09.05.2015
Why not?

Are girls happy in marriage? Register those who are officially married for more than 5 years and must have children. Are there such?

17 years together, 10 years married, daughters 8 years and a year. It’s not easy, but love hasn’t passed. If you do not expect a marriage of cloudless being and pink pony, crawling butterflies, and try for each other, then the chances of a happy family are not weak.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113176
 09.05.2015
Now every new DEVELOPER on our project will be issued a dildo. For what? To develop

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113175
 09.05.2015
xxx: The Schwarzschild radius of a sphere uniformly filled with matter with a density equal to a critical density coincides with the radius of the observed universe.
We still live inside a black hole.

YYY: Move to another chat. I want to joke about life in a black hole.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113174
 09.05.2015
The Progress M-27M cargo ship burned in an atmosphere of tension and distrust.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113173
 09.05.2015
Stop fucking, it’s not a chat, it’s a quote!
--------
We are not quoted, we are quoted by each other. The citation!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113172
 09.05.2015
Even white dance today is racism.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №113171
 09.05.2015
I was two meters tall, under a hundred pounds, unbarred for about two weeks, sat in the electric car. In front of the boy, on his maillot is written: "Smile if you want me." I am bored, I sit, I smile, and he is sweaty.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №113170
 09.05.2015
My husband is so aggressive driving!! And yours is so calm!! What do you give him?
I give him.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113169
 09.05.2015
And the girls, even the feelings of tact was not enough to stumble over the clothes.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
What’s wrong with jeans and shirts? Clothes for neutral plans. I, as a girl, would rather grieve over the one who went out for a street date, as if for a theatre or for a pathos club - it is like a clown, like a woman, in the midst of the day, dressed in a gray barley dress with a shalef and sprinkled a nork mantle on the first week of September.

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