bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127872
 09.05.2016
The dialogue:

Yesterday I took courage and approached her.
And what is she?
Did he say you came back again? And from where she knows it!! to
and :)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127871
 09.05.2016
The problem is frozen fingers. When a normal person is cold, he clothes. Yes, and she wears socks in the summer, because she does not look at the calendar, but at the fact that it is cold. Obviously, people who suffer from the heat can not dress up at work to the bikini, and those who suffer from choke - not so much can walk everywhere with an oxygen bubble. Air is not food, "otherwise" it is impossible to breathe. The freezers are the only ones whose "problem" is elementarly solvable, but they do not need to solve the problem, they need to head down.

ZY: I had to freeze at work and roast (so I can compare what is resolved, and what is not).

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №127870
 09.05.2016
Here people complain that girls are half naked in the summer heat. I don't know what is meant by the "half-bigger, of course, if it's not enough, and the truth is in underwear at work - then I sympathize.

But I do not understand that. I wear a summer dress in the heat. The hands below the shoulders, the legs below the knee and neck - naked, looks decent and not hot. What do you do in 30 degrees of heat? In a coat and sweater? That’s why you need a condor on +10, right? And tell me... Here are you in a coat in a room where you are warmer +10 you die from the whiskey, right? How do you get to work on the street at +30? Give me a guess - in a car with a condor on +10?) So not all people, first, such perverted people are abnormal, secondly, not everyone in the car, and some have to walk straight in the element, in the heat, or even in the tram at the peak hour to go! Try it in your coat!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №127869
 09.05.2016
There were such jokes in my childhood. How will it be in Turkmen - zebra, black, serpent?
Ishak-Matrus, Guthalin-Batyr and Autogen-Torch

Wu: And we in Kazakhstan had Santa Claus, Baba Yaga and Buratino, who were named, respectively, Kolotun-Baby, Kosmar-Apa and Saksaul-Bola.

[ + 44 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127868
 09.05.2016
Yandex news: "Natalia Poklonskaya passed in the “Immortal Regiment” with the icon of Nicholas II"

Here my personal idiotic counter shortened and burned.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127867
 09.05.2016
How many years - so much and a discount!" Neighborhood grandmother is 100 years old, almost 101. I think: I need to ask to order sushi for the whole entrance...

In the states there was already a precedent - grandfather tried in such a cafe and received, EMNP, 8 bucks with little stuff. The norm situation, ch. If that happens, what a advertisement!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127866
 09.05.2016
Vampire: Something I like about Christianity is that Christians drink blood. Truth only on Sundays.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127865
 09.05.2016
The husband recently issued: when I was a child, I would only not have been driven home, and now - only not to be expelled.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127864
 09.05.2016
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH If the word "acne" were to be used in the commandant inclination of the verb, what would it mean...

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №127863
 09.05.2016
here here :
The ever-hot person who freezes a colleague would go better to the endocrinologist. If it’s always hot, it’s not normal. Problems with thermoregulation, and will suffering others? It is normal to freeze in the cold and sweat in the heat.

If it’s hot, the rest don’t. More often, the situation is reverse, one heat-loving not moderately inclined creature, a few suffocating from the wind and heat. The problem is easily resolved by voting.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127862
 09.05.2016
The children played under the tree.
The senior managed the project "help birds".
The younger collected scattered grass, and the older man tried to screw the nests out of it and lay them on the branches, attaching a ladder to the tree.
After which he walked and agitated flying birds with real art: "Settle in new nests!"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127861
 09.05.2016
I was on a bus with a trolley driver today. Each passenger, along with a ticket, was handed out a “cheap taxi” visiting card.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №127860
 09.05.2016
The boss said a few days ago that they and the boys in their youth loved to bow like lambs, and no one could beat him. I’ve given a prize for what I can. The boss is not stupid at all, but he likes to argue. At lunch, the jackets were picked up, the forehead to the forehead stood, a circle was rounded around the cradle (who will go for the circle - lost). I watched the whole floor! The fight was tough, but I won two rounds out of three, my prize! And also on the wall hanged my photo with the signature "Baran of the month")))

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127859
 09.05.2016
Here is a topic for a new shit. Doctors always advise to avoid stress. And what if every morning you wake up in an apartment in Moscow, not in a mansion in Miami? And you need to go to work, not to the beach or to the amusement park? The constant stress...

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127858
 09.05.2016
Who will explain to the incomprehensible why all around are wearing these thrones?
I tried to watch, the first 2-3 series hardly endured, then still went away from the feeling of ugliness for a week

Yyy: It is harsh realism. The rarity.

Standard scenario: the hero is a poor man who first gets weak on his neck, then learns and goes to break down the fort of evil. The enemy kills anyone, but does not hit him.

Game of Thrones: The hero gathers in an epic campaign, cheering the crowds, goes to the goal and...

1st He was killed by a knife for a couple of coins.
2nd He broke his head when he fell from his horse.
Three I like unhealthy seeds.
4 is Taki destroys the fortress, but is killed in a dream by a traitor.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127857
 09.05.2016
About the office temperature. You haven’t been in our hospitals this summer – that’s where hell is. Especially if you are the youngest in the chamber, and all the others over 60 and endlessly. Our windows and doors at +30 were always tightly covered. And do not let God try to complain about the spirit, you will be explained with a scream as you, Herod, are wrong and want their death from the doorstep (!)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127856
 09.05.2016
Fuck, how I regret telling my wife 15 years ago that I’m not afraid of flying on a plane! My tongue is my enemy. No legal reason to drink at the airport before landing can now be found.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127855
 09.05.2016
Tell me, American, what is the power? In the money?
Of course not. Power in knowledge. Do you know what our debt is?
Here you are the fool!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №127854
 09.05.2016
I am driving now in a bus ride, behind me are two guys from the Middle Asian weak Russian-speaking outdoors. One of them apparently met a girl and is re-writing. The men held the following dialogue (without taking into account the accent).

How do you write: are you my sweet sheep or a sheep?

Do not send! It is not a compliment!

The poor girl.

[ + 40 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127853
 09.05.2016
From a women's forum: "Tell me, can they become curved from sexual intercourse on the side of the leg or is my husband just so scared?"

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna